Anywhere you go, there is going to be contradictory information. Even outside of reptiles. There is no subject on this earth where 100% of the discourse is agreed upon by everyone. It's your job to determine what you find valuable, and to dig through the mess.
I'm not sure who said the temp should be close...I've never had my thermostats read exactly the same as the actual temp, regardless of where I place them. The important part is that you set your thermostat at a temp that allows it to reach your goal temps. I have thermostats set to 83F that reach 90F ambient temps. I have thermostats set to 95F that reach surface temps of 90-93F. You shouldn't be relying on the thermost to tell you temps, but as long as you have it set up correctly, it will control your temps. Even if the thermostat has to read 100F to get to a desired temp of 90F, all that matters is that it is resulting in the temps you want.
You don't want to measure the surface of the bedding. You want to measure the surface of the ENCLOSURE..below the bedding. If you heat the top of the bedding to 90F, the floor could easily be 100+, and result in burning or killing your snake if/when it burrows down to the pad. If the snake has access to heat, it should always stay at or below the maximum healthy temp.
I think some of your problem is also getting an intermediate species as a beginner. BRBs are not good beginner snakes without taking the time to research and digest as much information as possible beforehand. They are very sensitive to high temperatures and humidity, moreso than a snake such as a ball python, corn, or boa constrictor. They aren't as advanced as a green tree python, but they aren't the easiest to keep, either. I think a lot of more experienced keepers sometimes take BRB keeping for granted (even I do sometimes). If you're used to keeping other species, it's not much tweaking to get BRBs right, but it's a lot to start out with.
I've also noticed they tend to have weaker...dispositions? Than other snakes. I see more health issues in BRBs than any other "popular" snake. They are the only species I've kept that I've ever had die on me, though I'm thinking the ones that died were mostly due to bad genetics than anything (or I'm hoping). Regurges and early deaths are common in this species, from what I have seen. Perfectly healthy and long-lived individuals are also common, and sometimes they can be quite hardy. Just read
this story by Dave Colling! I just notice a higher rate of bad experiences with this species vs other species, and that may just be an information bias of some sort, but it has also made me feel I need to be more careful with them.