How do you get over being sad from losing a pet?

Squirtle · 09-03-12, 09:04 PM

Today, my mother made me give up my Albino Burmese Python to her boyfriend who has NO CLUE at all on how to care for big snakes. She made me give him up because I'm starting my senior year in high school next week and says that I have to focus. He's not going to be away from me for long however, he'll be coming back home in December. I can't stop thinking about him AT ALL, every time I go to YouTube, at least 5 of the people I'm subbed to have videos uploaded of their burms.. and for some reason they let my retic stay at home with me. What can I do to get my mind off my burm for now? every time I go inside my room and see that big empty space where his cage used to be I just feel my heart breaking bits by bits..

TheBoogieDown · 09-03-12, 09:10 PM

Hey... To be quite frank: I have no idea how to get over it. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that happened.

Kaetlinv · 09-03-12, 09:19 PM

Why on earth are they taking one large snake but not the other? And honestly i see no sense to their methods.
I just graduated highschool, while i love my snakes and i did care for them, they dont take an absurd amount of time. Unless youre very easily distracted, i see no point in them taking the burm from you, especially if your moms boyfriend isnt prepared to properly care for your burm in the interim.

Im heading to college here in two weeks and i have three ball pythons. Ive scheduled my classes and planned out my days to provide ample time to care for them. Perhaps you could present your own class schedules and your own homework plans to your mother to try and earn your burm back. I may sound like a parent here, but school comes first. Show her that you are prepared to commit to school and then, only AFTER studying and homework will you allow yourself to be "distracted" by your snakes.

The snakes honestly helped me in some of my classes. My art class for one, and then my contemporary world problems class too. Near the end of the year we had a debate assignment in class. One topic was the owning and rights to own exotic animals. Snakes were a great example.

Try talking and finding out why she felt this extreme need to separate you from only one of your big snakes but not the other. Be polite about it though, no need to anger the one who, as it seems from this example, as control over your beloved snakes.

alessia55 · 09-03-12, 09:20 PM

Focus on your studies. Focus on your other pets. Pick up a hobby. Can you visit her boyfriend to check on your snake? make sure it has the right setup? what is the reasoning behind making you give up the burm but not the retic?

Squirtle · 09-03-12, 09:25 PM

My retic is still tiny and not as big as my burm. He's about 3-4 feet while my burm is reaching 9. Yes, I'd still be able to visit and handle my burm every 2-3 weeks. The thing that scares me is that what if one day he decides to take my burm outside his cage (when I told him not too unless I'm around him) and then something bad happens..

Kaetlinv · 09-03-12, 09:29 PM

Um....please for the safety of your moms boyfriend and your snake, talk to her. This situation just screams bad news.

h3h · 09-03-12, 09:35 PM

First off I'm sorry, because that is heart breaking. I do not mean to undermine your mother, but your Senior year in high school is supposed to be the easiest...With your Junior year being the hardest. Unless there is some hidden agenda, or you were doing poorly in school before I don't know why she would do this. I don't have kids, so I'll end my opinion there.

You said he was going with her boyfriend, so he has to live close by...right? You could go see him I imagine? I would try to educate him as much as possible on how to care for your snake. If you have a heat source, temperature controller, and you set it up for him it should be like that Ron Popeil Rotisserie thingy I almost bought about 100 times - set it and forget it. I mean besides light maintenance for waste...Maybe you could get there once a week for the feedings?

Seriously, I really feel horrible for you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and all pain flies away on the wings of time. Keep your head up, nothing anyone says will make you feel any better - only time. Good luck, and keep us updated on him!

- h3

rmfsnakes32 · 09-06-12, 07:35 PM

Thats terrible Im sorrry I know when exwizard took my snakes in my house felt so empty without them!

Volcom269 · 09-06-12, 07:44 PM

That's horrible I understand in a way what your going through. I had a similar thing happen to me, my grandma got mad at me and banished my dog to outside. Since he was always a pampered house dog and we have bad winters me and my dad are working on getting him a new home.

So I get you, and it sucks.
I hope it gets better.

sherriwat · 09-06-12, 08:16 PM

well im a mommy. not of a high school aged child but still.

now your mom proably in ehr head did this for a reason be it this is your final year of highschool your grades this eyar help determine if you go to college and such. or she did it as some sort of punishment bad grades not doing homework and wants you focused. i completely understand these issues.

but.....

maybe if these are the issues and reason or something close to these. maybe you can present to her that your love for your snake means so much enough that you will prove to her your "worthy" (meaning good grades and focus) of having your snake back.
give her a goal.. example hey mom if on my next 5 tests if i get high c's or b's can i have my snake back and i promise i will maintain my grades if one test or grade goes below high c's (just example) than take my snake away forever. moms eat this stuff up especially if you prove and continue to prove. than you get your snake back and you gain the respect from your mom that you actually set a goal and stuck with goal and maintained that goal.

now also as a mom if my baby (regardless of age, my children are always my little babies) had a 9 ft snake that was still growing. i would be very scared for my child no matter how good theya re with that snake and how many precautions they took. your still my baby with a 9 ft snake, thats scary for alot of moms. if this is the case well you might not have much of a shot. mommies are feirce scary animals when it comes to their children. plus your retic since only 4 -5 feet right now doesnt look like it is much threat yet in a mothers eye....

keep your chin up hunny all will work out just make a plan with your mom in a mature adult manner.

Squirtle · 09-06-12, 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sherriwat

well im a mommy. not of a high school aged child but still.

now your mom proably in ehr head did this for a reason be it this is your final year of highschool your grades this eyar help determine if you go to college and such. or she did it as some sort of punishment bad grades not doing homework and wants you focused. i completely understand these issues.

but.....

maybe if these are the issues and reason or something close to these. maybe you can present to her that your love for your snake means so much enough that you will prove to her your "worthy" (meaning good grades and focus) of having your snake back.
give her a goal.. example hey mom if on my next 5 tests if i get high c's or b's can i have my snake back and i promise i will maintain my grades if one test or grade goes below high c's (just example) than take my snake away forever. moms eat this stuff up especially if you prove and continue to prove. than you get your snake back and you gain the respect from your mom that you actually set a goal and stuck with goal and maintained that goal.

now also as a mom if my baby (regardless of age, my children are always my little babies) had a 9 ft snake that was still growing. i would be very scared for my child no matter how good theya re with that snake and how many precautions they took. your still my baby with a 9 ft snake, thats scary for alot of moms. if this is the case well you might not have much of a shot. mommies are feirce scary animals when it comes to their children. plus your retic since only 4 -5 feet right now doesnt look like it is much threat yet in a mothers eye....

keep your chin up hunny all will work out just make a plan with your mom in a mature adult manner.

He won't be gone forever, he'll be back with me in December. She doesn't really care how big my snakes will get as long as I keep them caged up when guests are over :P maybe she wants me to focus for the first quarter in school.

DeesBalls · 09-06-12, 09:24 PM

It sucks man. All i can say is do what you can, see him/her when you can... and make sure the boyfriend listens to what you say... you said "9." so i am assuming 9 ft, just hope he will be safe and responsible with him/her. listen to your mother, as much as it sucks sometimes.

and i know my high school/college carreer, my high school grades meant absolutly nothing at all... only thing they did were put me in hard @$$ classes in college, since my high school did nothing to prepare me for college... but that is a different story.

Kaetlinv · 09-06-12, 09:28 PM

Senior year for me mattered... Cause I had one hard a$$ teacher that you never want to get on the bad side of. I was one of his favorites that year because I had two classes with him, an easy one (animation) and then the hard one... Chemistry. Won him over with animation though

Been out of a math class for a year and a half now, and I still am at college level math despite being out of practice, haha. But then again I'm in a school that actually preps you for college.

Squirtle, just make sure you get your work turned in on time. Better turned in with a few problems missing or incomplete by a little bit and on time than complete and late... If your teacher allows it, you can always re-do homework if it initially was on time. Can't do that if it's late.

Lets just say for the Chem teacher I had 0% missing assignments for the entire year... >.>

Terranaut · 09-07-12, 01:50 AM

I have a son who must be a year younger than you. If his marks drop because he is distracted in any way I would pull the distraction on him rigjt away and if that meant a temp rehome of his snake so be it. Your still distracted by yours even when its gone. Your on here talking about it right ?? So my suggestion is to put your nose to the grindstone and do super well. Its only a few months. The return of your burm will be a just reward at the end of the year. I would even cut back on your site time here.
Seriously your marks this year are so important for post secondary placement. A huge chunk of your life depends on this.
Good luck. You'll be reunited in no time.

rmfsnakes32 · 09-08-12, 08:10 PM

I had one of my boas die a month or so ago the loss is hard all my snakes are a integrated part of our family! Be happy that in december you get him back! Also educate the boyfriend on your burms likes and what not and any certain way you feed this way when you get him back you should be able to fall right back into routine with him. Keep your chin up I loved my senior year