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Asking Parents and In-laws
I know i'm really new to be posting this kind of thing but its sort of getting down to the wire and I would like some advice, preferably from people who don't really know me.
Basically my situation is my fiance's parents, they are extremely over protective (mostly his mom) its never been a problem up until now (Him and I have known each other for 6 years and been together for almost 3 1/2 and they've known me throughout it all) we are moving to the mainland, about 5 hours away. Now I understand its her baby (they have two other children) and I don't expect her not to care or anything but the problem is she cares TO much, I mean in the sense that she feels he can't do anything for himself (he is 20), now he has held down a job for 5 years since he was 15 and never had a problem with the law, doesn't smoke or drink, all in all very mature and responsible, i'm the same way other then I've had a few jobs haha. Now what I mean by caring to much is that she makes him get haircuts, doesn't let him buy his own clothes, warns him about driving at night and being home alone, case and point, talking about buying a winter coat for this year, she was talking about them, he told her he would look up there and get one when winter starts in, she just laughed it off and started looking and talking about coats again.
Now I never had anything like this growing up so it is weird to me in that way but also because I feel like they think i'm going to let him run himself into the ground. I've spent most of my life living alone and taking care of myself, the house and the pets and I feel very comfortable with moving.
These past few years with them I really started thinking of them as family and yes there have been a few bumps when it comes to my relationship with my parents and such but I never really thought it was much of a big deal since they never seemed to say or have thoughts on anything. While finding the apartment we weren't allowed to do anything, his parents had a friend so they dealt with it and we were kept in the dark, we just sort of went with it which I am terribly regretting. They lied to us about the pets, which I later got in contact with this friend and found out everything, how they put us in a place that didn't allow anything but my cat so things are no in a good state.
When she found out we found out she refused to talk to me (the person who decided to call and find out and the person who called) and instead threw everything at her son, refusing to talk to me and admitted she cares nothing for my 'animals' and only for her son's education, something I wish had been brought up sooner.
What i'm asking is how do I deal, currently I'm scared about moving and frustrated over all this crap that sprung up due to them. I don't want to deal with them calling everyday making sure we aren't having hotdogs (that is a serious issue with her because they cause cancer) or everytime there is something on the news about the city we live in asking if we are okay. I want to talk to her about it but I don't know how, my fiance has tried and they just ignore/laugh it off, I feel terrible for him and I hate the way it makes me feel.
I understand it is their son, and that I might not come from a place in life they trust with my background but we love each other, we've never had a fight or a problem, its not like we have an unstable relationship. Is there anyway I can talk to them about it to try and make them understand, I don't want them hovering over me for the rest of my life and I know that if they continue the way they are now when we move it will just cause stress on my fiance and I's relationship.
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2.0 Ball Pythons, 2.0 BCIs, 0.1 Crested Gecko
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