*I kinda heard that second one i littel different...
A Good Friend will bail you out of jail, but your best friend will be sitting in the cell beside you saying "Dude That Was ****ing Awsome".
and about the first one i got another one kinda like that too
What do you call a dog with no legs???
Dont Bother Hes Not Gonna Come To You AnyWay!!!!!
^Ya its dumb, but hey so was your first one right lol