Welcome to Alberta!

[Invictus]

Welcome to Alberta. Thank you for visiting our beautiful province.Here are a few things you ought to know to make your stay more pleasant:

1. That slope-shouldered farm boy you are snickering at did more work before breakfast than you will do all week at the gym.

2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your BMW. I have a 4-wheel drive because I need it. Now drive or get it out of the way.

3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine-years-old. Yeah, we saw Bambi die. We got over it.

4. Any references to "grain fed" when talking about our women will get your butt kicked...by our women.

5. Pull your pants up, and turn your hat around. You look like an idiot.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

7. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.

8. Yeah, we have sweetened ice tea. It comes sweetened, you don't need a glass with two packets of sugar and a long spoon.

9. You bring Coke into my house you better bring rye along, and ice.

10. So you have a sixty-thousand-dollar car. We're real impressed. We have quarter-million-dollar combines that we use two weeks a year.

11. Let's get this straight. We may have one stoplight in town, but we stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.

12. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks because they want to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.

13. Yeah, we eat trout, northern pike, walleye and perch, too. If you really want sushi and caviar, it's available at the bait shop.

14. They are pigs and cows. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? Highways #1 and #16 go two ways- get on one of them. The more people that leave, the better the hunting & fishing.

15. The "Opener" refers to the first days of fishing and hunting season. They are religious holidays. No one will fix your breakfast on the Opener. You can get breakfast at the church.

16. So what if every person in every pick-up waves? It's called being friendly. Understand the concept?

17. Yeah, we have golf courses, more per person than anywhere else on earth. Don't hit into the water hazards. It spooks the damn fish. And stay out of the woods, that spooks the deer.

Please enjoy your stay.

[snakehunter]

Those could apply to where i live. I LOVE IT

[sexxie_cucumber]

Uhh.. lol. I don't get it because I live in Alberta..but I also live in the city.

[redarm]

I live in Pa and also like those rules
One more : If you cant kill it ,gut it and eat it its not a sport.

[Yness]

Alberta...the biggest small town in the world...

[Ryan23]

Saskatchewan born and raised myself but I'd say that all applies.......lol!!!

[huhet]

i've seen those same rules with north dakota on the top. everything except for that golf course thing. we're not known for those...

[Scales Zoo]

So, what, the city of Calgary isn't in Alberta? Clicky Yuppy town!

Ryan

[Invictus]

No, Alberta is where all of the oil companies are. Calgary is part of Alberta geographically speaking, but in our minds, we are our own country.

[lakeridgekennel]

Invictus That was the funniest thing i think i have seen on ssnakess in a long time.

Made my day.

[heebie_geebies]

That list was made for Saskatchewan. Point number 17 fully clarifies that. Check it out for yourself if you don't belive me. http://www.saskgolfer.com/feacourses.php

[Invictus]

Hahaha... thanks Lyndon. I suppose points 1-16 still apply to either Alberta OR Manitoba as well. Ah, life on the prairies....

[heebie_geebies]

To bad there wasn't more wild reptiles to view around here. Guess I should go to Drumheller.

[sum12stupid4u]

I live in West Virginia, all those rules apply to where I live!