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04-25-04, 08:10 PM
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#1
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Member
Join Date: Jul-2002
Location: Markham Ont
Age: 48
Posts: 96
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47 years old
A middle-aged woman decides to have a facelift for her birthday. She spends $5000 and feels pretty good about the results.
On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," is the reply.
"I'm exactly 47, " the woman says happily.
A while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question.
She replies, "I guess about 29."
The woman replies, "Nope, I'm 47." Now she's feeling really good about herself.
She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question.
The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."
Again she proudly responds, "I am 47, but thank you."
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man the same question.
He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eye sight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra, then I can tell you exactly how old you are."
They wait in silence on the empty street until curiosity gets the best of her.
She finally blurts out, "What the heck, go ahead."
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and under her bra and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay, how old
am I?"
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, "Madam, you are 47."
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you tell?"
The old man replies, "Promise you won't get mad?"
"No", she says.
He replies, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's.
cheers
paul
__________________
jack and coke, please.
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04-25-04, 08:13 PM
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#2
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Member
Join Date: Mar-2002
Location: Ottawa
Age: 39
Posts: 3,285
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lol that's great!
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04-25-04, 08:25 PM
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#3
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Member
Join Date: Mar-2004
Location: Canada
Age: 34
Posts: 34
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lol thats funny!
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04-25-04, 10:04 PM
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#4
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Member
Join Date: Oct-2003
Location: Ontario
Age: 46
Posts: 135
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lmao thats a good one.
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04-25-04, 10:14 PM
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#5
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Member
Join Date: Sep-2002
Location: Calgary Alberta Canada
Posts: 1,273
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lol
__________________
1.1 Gehyra Vorax 1.0 Golden Gecko 1.0 Oedura Monilis 1.1 Green Tree Frogs
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04-25-04, 10:14 PM
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#6
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct-2003
Location: toronto,ont
Posts: 166
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hey thats the best joke ever thanx for sharing paul!
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04-25-04, 10:23 PM
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#7
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Member
Join Date: Jul-2002
Location: Markham Ont
Age: 48
Posts: 96
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thanks guys, if i can make ppl laugh, then may deed on earth is done.
cheers
paul
__________________
jack and coke, please.
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04-27-04, 07:22 PM
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#8
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Member
Join Date: Jun-2003
Location: North Carolina
Age: 38
Posts: 515
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ROFL! That's a great one, Paul!
__________________
~Haley~
Reptiles:
1.0 Elaphe Guttata Guttata (Chase)
0.0.1 Columbian Red-tail Boa (Pierre)
1.0 Pogona Vitticeps (Chester)
and my cat, Buddha!
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04-28-04, 10:12 AM
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#9
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Member
Join Date: Jul-2003
Location: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Age: 46
Posts: 466
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nice
__________________
1.0 Brazilian Rainbow Boa, 1.0 Mexican Black King Snake
A "Choose Your Own Adventure" Hamlet would be nice; To be, turn to page 73.
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04-28-04, 03:28 PM
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#10
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Member
Join Date: Jan-2004
Location: London, England
Age: 38
Posts: 368
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lol
__________________
''if at first you dont succeed, skydiving is definately not for you''
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04-28-04, 03:40 PM
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#11
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Member
Join Date: Jul-2003
Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canuckland
Age: 46
Posts: 3,934
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*LMAO*!!
__________________
Erin Keller :eb:
Snakes: 2.1 Corns, 1.1 Kings, 1.0 Everglades Rat, 1.1 Spotted Pythons, 1.2 Children's Pythons, 1.2 BCIs Lizards: 0.2 Leopard Geckos, 1.3 Bibron Geckos Inverts: 2.1 Tarantulas, 0.1 Emporer Scorpion Mammals: 0.2 Kittens
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05-03-04, 10:06 AM
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#12
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Member
Join Date: Mar-2003
Location: England,notts
Age: 36
Posts: 673
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lol! pervo
__________________
1.1 ball pythons, 1.1 anmel corns, 1.0. collard lizards, 1.1 pastle B.C.I's . 4 tropical fishes
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05-03-04, 10:48 AM
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#13
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Member
Join Date: Feb-2004
Location: Parry Sound, Ontario
Age: 45
Posts: 379
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that's a good one!!!
__________________
0.1 Abino Leo (Gidget)
0.0.1 Hypo Tangerine Carrot Tail Leo (Gizmo)
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05-04-04, 12:00 PM
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#14
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Member
Join Date: Oct-2003
Location: Toronto, ON
Age: 38
Posts: 14
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hahaha, thats a good one, keep'em commin'
__________________
0.1BeardedDragon//1.0 Hypo Golden leo,0.1 Tremper Yellow Banded Albino leo.
thanx
SylverAngel:w
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