Canadian Terms !!

[Darlene]

As a Canadian, you have to be extra vigilant. There are a lot of imposters out there. If you suspect that someone is falsely trying to pass themselves off as a Canadian, make the following statement - and then carefully note their reaction:

"Last night, I cashed my pogey and went to buy a mickey of C.C. at the beer parlour, but my skidoo got stuck in the muskeg on my way back to the duplex. I was trying to deke out a deer, you see. Damn chinook, melted everything. And then a Mountie snuck up behind me in a ghost car and gave me an impaired. I was S.O.L., sitting there dressed only in my Stanfields and a toque at the time. And the Mountie, he's all chippy and everything, calling me a "**** disturber" and what not. What could I say, except, "Sorry, EH!" !!!"

If the person you are talking to nods sympathetically, they're one of us. If, however, they stare at you with a blank look of incomprehension, they are not a real Canadian. Have them reported to the authorities at once. The passage cited above contains no fewer than 19 different Canadianisms.

Here are 18 of them in order :
1)Pogey: EI (Employment insurance). Money provided by the government for not working.
2)Mickey: A small bottle of booze (13 oz) (A Texas mickey, on the other hand, is a ridiculously big bottle of booze, which, despite the name, is still a Canadianism through and through.)
3)C.C.: Canadian Club, a brand of rye whiskey. Not to be confused with "hockey stick," another kind of Canadian Club.
4)Beer parlour: Like an ice cream parlour, but for Canadians.
5)Skidoo: Self-propelled decapitation unit for teenagers.
6)Muskeg: Boggy swampland.
7)Duplex: A single building divided in half with two sets of inhabitants, each trying to pretend the other doesn't exist while at the same time managing to drive each other crazy; metaphor for Canada's french and english.
8)Deke: Used as a verb, it means "to fool an opponent through skillful misdirection." As a noun, it is used most often in exclamatory constructions, such as: "Whadda deke!" Meaning, "My, what an impressive display of physical dexterity employing misdirection and guile."
9)Chinook: An unseasonably warm wind that comes over the Rockies and onto the plains, melting snow banks in Calgary but just missing Edmonton, much to the pleasure of Calgarians.
10)Mountie: Canadian icon, strong of jaw, red of coat, pure of heart. Always get their man! (See also Pepper spray, uses of.)
11)Snuck: To have sneaked; to move, past tense, in a sneaky manner; non-restrictive extended semi-gerundial form of "did sneak." (We think.)
12)Ghost car: An unmarked police car, easily identifiable by its inconspicuousness.
13)Impaired: A charge of drunk driving. Used both as a noun and as an adjective (the alternative adjectival from of "impaired" being "pissed to the gills").
14)S.O.L.: **** outta luck; in an unfortunate predicament.
15)Stanfields: Men's underwear, especially Grandpa-style, white cotton ones with a big elastic waistband and a large superfluous flap in the front. And back!
16)Toque: Canada's official National Head Apparel, with about the same suave sex appeal as a pair of Stanfields.
17)Chippy: Behaviour that is inappropriately aggressive; constantly looking for a reason to find offense; from "chip on one's shoulder." (See Western Canada)
18)**** disturber: (See Quebec) a troublemaker or provocateur. According to Katherine Barber, editor in Chief of the Canadian Oxford Dictionary, "**** disturber" is a distinctly Canadian term. (Just remember that Western Canada is chippy and Quebec is a **** disturber, and you will do fine.) Sorry, eh.

[TheRedDragon]

Originally posted by Darlene

9)Chinook: An unseasonably warm wind that comes over the Rockies and onto the plains, melting snow banks in Calgary but just missing Edmonton, much to the pleasure of Calgarians.

Yup, I LOVE living in Calgary!

[Lisa]

I like ontario. No snow in may, june, july, august or september. I remember when I moved out west a few years ago, it was the first week of september and it was snowing in Winterpeg.

[Wuntu Menny]

That's it, perpetuate the stereotype!

[Clownfishie]

LOL... man... I'm a Canadian, but even I didn't know half of those terms... hehe...

[RepTylE]

I must be true blue Canadian because I understood the whole story, lol. The only thing left out was the term getting a "soaker" for getting your feet wet lol.

[daver676]

15)Stanfields: Men's underwear, especially Grandpa-style, white cotton ones with a big elastic waistband and a large superfluous flap in the front. And back!

Hey....my Stanfields don't have a butt flap. Man I got jipped!! And I'm not a grandpa! Oh well.....

[Invictus]

LOL, great post.. now the Americans on this board will finally be able to understand us. And they say US english and Canadian english aren't different.... pffff.....

Here's another one... only a Canadian would ever be caught saying "Damn it! I spilled my poutine on the chesterfield!"

[jay76]

LOL! I followed the whole thing eh... I must have maple syrup in my veins hehe

Haha Invictus! I've stumped many an American with chesterfield talk

[Tim and Julie B]

That was so funny! A "soaker" is a good one! I got it all except Pogey. TB

[AnniesMom]

Very funny! That's ome for Rick Meyer and " Talking to Americans"

[mark129er]

gotta love pogey