Arnold Schwarzenegger Jokes

[Snip3r]

"Even Arnold's adviser says he was shocked by his decision to
run. I mean, his people were backstage that night and they had
no idea. He totally fooled them. Who knew Arnold was that good
of an actor? If he had done that in a movie, he'd have an
Academy Award by now." Jay Leno


"Yesterday, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he would run for
governor of California. The announcement was good news for
Florida residents who now live in the second flakiest state in
the country." Conan O'Brien


"Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you
can be a successful politician in this country even if English
is your second language." Conan O'Brien


"The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's
running for governor of California, and already, people are
chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels.'" Craig Kilborn


"It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor.
At least that's what everybody thinks he said." David Letterman


"Schwarzenegger said last night on the show he expects his
opponents to throw all kinds of dirt at him. And you know, it's
started already. Today, they released the one thing that could
really hurt Arnold. Turns out he once starred in a movie with
Tom Arnold." Jay Leno


"Finally, a candidate who can explain the Bush administration's
positions on civil liberties in the original German."
Bill Maher


"Arnold Schwarzenegger has still not officially bowed out of this
race. It looks like he's not gonna run. But I'll tell ya, if
Arnold does run, he better get on the ballot, because you don't
want a write-in with a name like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Because
people will go 'Schwarz, schwarz, oh Davis is easier.'" Jay Leno


"There's all this talk about Arnold Schwarzenegger. Well, you
know where he is now? Visiting Mexico, which I think means that
he is definitely going to run for governor. Arnold is smart.
He's in Mexico campaigning with the very people who'll be living
here by election time." Jay Leno


"Now see, a lot of critics are saying Arnold can't get elected
because he's just an ambitious guy with a famous name, who
doesn't know anything about running the government. Didn't
hurt George Bush." Jay Leno


"Earlier today, Arnold Schwarzenegger criticized the California'
school system, calling it disastrous. Arnold says California's
schools are so bad that its graduates are willing to vote for
me." Conan O'Brien



"Arnold was on the 'Today' show today, he was a little light on
specifics. He said he could solve California's $38 billion
budget deficit, without cutting spending or raising taxes
because there was a third way. What is it? Let's just say it
involves a robot going back in time to convince Gray Davis to
go into dentistry." Bill Maher


"President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans
are not, because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if
his father wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with
conservatives at all." Bill Maher


"Here's a little known fact Arnold is the first body builder to
run for governor since Janet Reno." David Letterman