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07-31-03, 08:34 AM
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#1
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Member
Join Date: Jul-2002
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,355
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Older and Wiser
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half! drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am? Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have your license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding too.
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07-31-03, 08:54 AM
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#2
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Member
Join Date: Jul-2002
Location: Victoria, BC
Age: 44
Posts: 5,454
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LMAO -- that's cute 
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07-31-03, 02:22 PM
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#3
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Member
Join Date: Mar-2003
Location: Nova Scotia
Age: 53
Posts: 504
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LOL....too funny !!
__________________
HOW TO .....
grow snakes in Nova Scotia
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07-31-03, 03:00 PM
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#4
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Member
Join Date: Aug-2002
Location: Dawson Creek B.C.
Age: 43
Posts: 972
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That's a good one!!!
__________________
1.1 crested gecko ( cresty and sticky!)
0.0.1 crested baby
0.0.1 Mali Uro (Spike)
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07-31-03, 03:02 PM
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#5
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Member
Join Date: May-2003
Age: 44
Posts: 1,809
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Thats great  I gotta try that!
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07-31-03, 03:05 PM
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#6
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Member
Join Date: Apr-2003
Location: Cleveland, Ohio
Age: 56
Posts: 1,151
Country: 
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I love it.
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07-31-03, 03:36 PM
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#7
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Member
Join Date: Jul-2003
Location: Miami, FL and New Haven, CT
Age: 40
Posts: 1,084
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this is going on my 'to-do' list.
__________________
1.1 ball pythons (Huxley and Marla)
~"Interestingly enough, the only thing the bowl of petunias thought was, 'Oh no, not again.'" --Douglas Adams~
* Mollie *
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07-31-03, 05:08 PM
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#8
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Member
Join Date: Jun-2003
Location: Chattanooga, TN
Age: 52
Posts: 1,562
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On behalf of AARP I would like to register a complaint about the nature of this joke and demand it be removed.
__________________
www.SCReptiles.com 2.2 Crotalus adamanteus. 2.2 Crotalus h. atricaudatus. 2.2 Crotalus h. horridus. 1.1 Agkistrodon p. piscivorus. 1.1 Agkistrodon c. contortrix. 1.1 Agkistrodon c. mokasen. 1.1 Agkistrodon c. laticinctus. 1.1 Agkistrodon c. pictigaster. Agkistrodon c. phaeogaster. 1.2 Sistrurus miliarius barbouri. 1.1 Micrurus fulvius. 0.0.1 Micrurus fulvius tenere
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07-31-03, 06:25 PM
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#9
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Member
Join Date: Aug-2002
Location: hamilton, ontario, canada
Posts: 722
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hahah...that's a good one.
__________________
1.0 Reverse Okeetee Corn, 0.1 Albino Snow Corn, 1.1 Irian Jaya Carpet Pythons
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