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05-02-03, 02:20 PM
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#1
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Member
Join Date: Feb-2003
Location: Kansas City
Age: 48
Posts: 577
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For the women......
This was sent to me from my girlfried.......even tho I am a guy I did find it a bit funny so I thought I would pass it on!
MEN'S SPEECH PATTERNS:
1. "I can't find it"
MEANS: It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I am completely
clueless as to where it may be.
2. "That's women's work"
MEANS: it's difficult, dirty, and thankless.
3. "Will you Marry me?"
MEANS: both of my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and
there's no peanut butter left.
4. "It's a guy thing ."
MEANS: there's no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have
no chance at all of making it logical.
5. "Can I help with dinner?"
MEANS: why isn't it already on the table?
6. "It would take too long to explain"
MEANS: I have no idea how it works.
7. "I'm getting more exercise lately"
MEANS: the batteries in the remote are dead.
8. "We're going to be late."
MEANS: I have a legitimate reason for driving like a maniac.
9. "Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
MEANS: I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.
10. "That's interesting dear."
MEANS: are you still talking?
11. "Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love."
MEANS: I forgot our anniversary again.
12. "You expect too much from me."
MEANS: You expect me to stay awake?
13. "It's really a good movie."
MEANS: It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and naked women.
14. "You know how bad my memory is."
MEANS: I remember the words to the theme song of F-Troop, the address of the
first girl I kissed, and the vehicle identification number of every car I've
ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.
15. "I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses."
MEANS: the girl selling them on the corner was a real babe, and was wearing
a bikini thong.
16. "Oh, don't fuss, I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
MEANS: I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before
admitting I'm hurt.
17. "Hey, I've got reasons for what I'm doing."
MEANS: what did you catch me at?
18. "She's one of those rabid feminists."
MEANS: she refused to make my coffee.
19. "I heard you."
MEANS: I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and hope I can fake
it well enough, so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me.
20. "You know I could never love anyone else."
MEANS: I am used to the way YOU yell at me, and realize it could be worse.
21. "You really look terrific in that outfit."
MEANS: Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving.
22. "I brought you a present."
MEANS: It was free ice scraper night at the hockey game.
23. "I missed you."
MEANS: I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry, and we're out of
toilet paper.
24. "I'm not lost, I know exactly where we are."
MEANS: No one will ever see us alive again.
25. "This relationship is getting too serious."
MEANS: I like you almost as much as I like my truck.
26. "I don't need to read the instructions."
MEANS: I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help.
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05-02-03, 02:31 PM
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#2
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Member
Join Date: Jan-2003
Location: UK, Newcastle
Age: 35
Posts: 548
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lol...all true
__________________
1.0 Normal corn snake, 0.1 Snow corn snake.
Lizzy xxx
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05-02-03, 02:54 PM
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#3
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Member
Join Date: Mar-2002
Location: in the mountains
Age: 53
Posts: 1,186
Country: 
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oh my......right on the nose with all of them..lol
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05-02-03, 02:58 PM
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#4
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Member
Join Date: Jun-2002
Location: Trenton
Posts: 6,075
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you're right they are funny
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05-02-03, 07:48 PM
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#5
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Please Email Boots
Join Date: Mar-2005
Posts: 3,326
Country: 
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Hahahaha!!!!!!!!!! That's bang on just about every guy I've ever dated, thank god I'm married to someone who's the opposite!;D (most of the time)
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05-02-03, 07:58 PM
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#6
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Member
Join Date: Feb-2003
Location: Louisville, KY
Age: 56
Posts: 939
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SO true!
__________________
Just keep walking and ignore the monkeys...
PrimaReptilia
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05-02-03, 08:25 PM
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#7
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Member
Join Date: Apr-2003
Posts: 15
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Lol! I nearly died laughing! Is that so true or what!!
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05-03-03, 12:34 AM
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#8
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Member
Join Date: Mar-2003
Location: Courtenay
Age: 37
Posts: 266
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that makes a horrible amount of sense!
__________________
:eb:
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05-03-03, 12:45 AM
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#9
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Member
Join Date: Apr-2003
Age: 45
Posts: 22
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HAHHAHHAHA!! they all sound familiar to me!
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05-03-03, 12:00 PM
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#10
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Member
Join Date: May-2002
Location: Leader, SK
Age: 45
Posts: 2,203
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lol! Man Katt always gets me on the first one about not finding stuff! lol! Nice to know I'm not alone!! Yeah! *insert testosterone growl here*
__________________
Vanan
The Herp Room
"The day I tried to live, I wallowed in the blood and mud with all the other pigs" - C. Cornell
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05-03-03, 12:30 PM
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#11
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Banned
Join Date: Nov-2002
Location: maine
Posts: 370
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you disgust me xetox
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05-03-03, 07:12 PM
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#12
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Member
Join Date: Dec-2002
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
Age: 36
Posts: 1,616
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lol That's pretty funny
__________________
Who are you callin' a freak?!
~*Rachel*~
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05-03-03, 10:04 PM
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#13
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Member
Join Date: Oct-2002
Location: Quebec, Canada
Age: 37
Posts: 847
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Whats so funny? :P
later,
J-P
__________________
0.1 High Yellow Leopard Gecko; 1.0 Pink Snow Corn Snake ; 1.2 Super hypo tangerine carrot-tail Leopard Gecko ; 1.1 Butter Motley Corn Snake ; 1.2 Blizzard Leopard Gecko
http://www.freewebs.com/gccaptivebred/
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05-05-03, 04:26 PM
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#14
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Member
Join Date: Feb-2003
Location: Kansas City
Age: 48
Posts: 577
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Quote:
Originally posted by ballpython5000
you disgust me xetox
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Hey I did not say I liked it just thought it was funny....I know I am the average guy! and most the stuff on that list I am proud of 
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05-05-03, 04:39 PM
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#15
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Member
Join Date: Jan-2003
Location: Montreal
Age: 33
Posts: 1,334
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LOL! THAT IS HILARIOUS! And not to mention...very true. Julie B...did Tim just buy you a new herp or something or do you really mean it? I don't think I've ever heard anyone say something about their husband like that before 
27. Julie: "..thank god I'm married to someone who's the opposite!"
MEANS: He's getting paid tomorrow and I have my eye on a nice gecko...
Hehe...Just trying to bug you, Julie  Hah those are hilarious!
__________________
•EmilyFisher•
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