At the end of my rope....

[Will0W783]

I can't take any more....I'm literally at the end of my rope. My fiance and I had been having a hard time connecting and communicating lately; he's been afraid of his workplace closing down and he gets depressed and distant when things go wrong at work. I've been depressed and lonely about it.

Well, Friday I went into work, and was told by my boss that the past year things hadn't come together and she couldn't afford to keep me on because I hadn't been able to learn the skills to work on her new projects. I'm a postdoc researcher, and for the last 8 months the lab has been in danger of closing because my boss wasn't going to get promoted. The grad student and my boss barely ever came to work, everyone was moping about, nothing got done. I did my best with the situation, but I couldn't learn as much as I wanted. Now I have to leave....I feel depressed, terrified and defeated.

I was a train wreck all weekend....then Sunday, after my fiance John and I watched "My Cat from Hell" with Jackson Galaxy, he suggested we take the cats for a walk. We have cat harnesses and used to walk our two male cats_ Khan and Trigger. Khan was excited to be outside, but Trigger laid down and howled until I took him back inside. I saw Scratch, a rescued stray we have, on the table and thought maybe she'd like a walk. I put the harness on her, tightened it up as best I could, and took her out. She puffed out her tail and darted around, until she got under my car. She somehow managed to pull out of the harness and took off up into the woods. John and I ran after her, but we lost her in the woods.....

Scratch was John's cat, but I was madly in love with her too. She was absolutely the sweetest, most loving little cat and never got into trouble. She'd snuggle with me on the bed every night, sit on my lap when I tried to eat dinner......she also cuddled with Trigger on the dining room table chairs. They'd lie with their paws around each other. I'm devastated and heartbroken....

We put up flyers, called the local shelters, and set live traps baited with her treats and food. I woke up this morning feeling sick as a dog; I'm coughing up chunks and my whole body hurts. I can't stop sobbing; it's all my fault that this sweet, dear cat is gone. It's going to rain hard tomorrow and she's scared and lost somewhere. I don't know how to forgive myself or how to move on.....I can't take anything else.

My dad has surgery for cancer in a week. Why is this all happening to me?
I NEED Scratch to be found; I can't cope with losing her right now.....

[Mikoh4792]

Sorry to hear you're getting dealt the rough hand by life. When it seems like everything is going downhill, I just try to hang in there, and do my best to make it through the hard times. Sometimes we can't choose everything that happens to us, so we just need to accept the fact and stay strong.

Anyways, I hope you find your cat, and best of luck.

[pdomensis]

Any one of those things would be enough to get someone down. Sorry you have to go through all of them. All the best.

[EL Ziggy]

Hang in there Willow. I hope things get better for you SOON!

[sharthun]

Same here, hang in there!

[robertjnovak59]

Every cat I've ever lived with that got out came back on its own. Sometimes they were gone for a week or two but they always find their way home. Im betting one of these days youll open your door and she'll be sitting there waiting to come in.

[jpsteele80]

Sorry to hear things are going the way they are but hang in there, it will get better

[Zoo Nanny]

Send a picture/posting of her to all of the vets offices in the area. Also post in craigslist in both the lost & found and the pet sections. Good luck I hope she comes back today.

[Lankyrob]

In the darkest night shines the brightest light.........


Hang in there, things WILL get better!

[LadyWraith]

I am SO sorry about all these crappy things happening all at one time. I would be devastated losing my cat like that as well. Like Zoo Nanny said, just keep posting uo fliers, post on CL, check with the local animal shelter, etc. I also think she will probably come back home. Cats tend to be that way from my experience. I really hope things pull through for you.

[wrecker45]

Shake a bag of temptations. Brings my cat running. Willow im 65 i have been knocked down a lot in life. Just get back up. Things always get better.

[Will0W783]

Thank you everyone for the kind words. I'm working on updating my resume and getting on the job search market.

I've hung flyers, told the police, vets, and local shelters and set two have-a-heart traps. So far I've caught the neighbor's cat, a possum and a very pissed off orange cat with a collar, but no Scratch. I keep praying and trying to keep my head up. It's hard, but I just keep focusing on getting through one day at a time right now.

[shaunyboy]

i am sorry to hear your going through difficult times Kimberley.....

please don't feel defeated by your work,it's NOT your fault the other two people hardly turned up for work,causing a backlog of work with nothing being done...

you said it yourself " you did your BEST " and that's ALL we can ask of ourselves...

i hope your cat turns up



i wish your father all the very best with his surgery pal

all the best,shaun

[Sublimeballs]

Sorry to hear about the rough patch Kim. Hopefully you'll find a job and your cat soon. Hang in there and you'll get through it fine(hopefully sooner as opposed to later).