Snakes ARE affectionate

[SoPhilly]

Look, I get where you're coming from, Sophie - I have Boas (Epicrates/Chilobothrus), which are generally among the more handleable of snakes, which is part of why I like them. Part of what is interesting for me is to be able to have contact with such a beautiful and fascinating creature. I only handle about once a week when I clean cage "furniture", but I handle for a while.

I don't, however think they feel love and affection for me. I feel it for them, most definitely. When they do adorable things like flick at my face and get my eyelashes (adorable and tickly!) I feel the same way that I feel when my dog does something cute. There's no difference in my feeling. However, I don't need the snakes to love me in order to love the snakes, and I think it's both more interesting, and actually more caring, to think about their behaviors from a reptilian or scientific point of view, than to imagine that they love me back.

I think my snakes 1. Recognize my scent, 2. Have come to believe over time that I am not harmful and 3. Are inquisitive and like to explore outside of their cages sometimes, including in my sleeves/shirt/hair. I think I am a known "safe zone" of interesting warmth. I do think they "trust" me over other people - because I am the familiar scent (Pheromone signature? What would you call it? Help me out guys).

Example: My Hispaniola boa is a musker - the species is known for not biting, but will musk every time when feeling threatened. To avoid this, I open his cage, let him see me, put my hand near him for a few seconds, let him scent me, then stroke him gently, then pick him up. He never musks me any more. My boyfriend, on the other hand, who handles the snakes less frequently, goes through the exact same set of steps and gets hit every single time. It's kind of funny.

So when that happens, what follows is: boyfriend curses loudly, grabs wad of paper towels, wraps snake in towels, shoves snake to me, runs to bathroom to wash off. I try to calm the snake down by keeping still and making a sort-of-cave with my hands and forearms until he feels like poking his head out and exploring again. Keep in mind this boa is only 9 months old, so still pretty small.

I'm not a scientist, but I think what the snake has internalized is:
Picked up by me= interesting warm jungle gym
Picked up by boyfriend= terrifyingly thrown around

Also, when my boyfriend is holding this snake, even calmly, if I put my hand nearby, the snake will attempt to crawl to me instead. My boyfriend has actually joked "He loves you more than me (pout)" and I've always said no, he's just decided I'm safer for whatever reason. (Can't imagine)

Also, just my $.02, if you have a snake that struggles wildly to not be put back into its enclosure, you may want to check the temps/humidity in there. I have a snake that would do that (aww, right? She loves me!), and when I finally checked, the probe wasn't working and the new one shot up to almost 100 degrees the second I put it in there. (PSA: Get thermostats, people. You need a thermostat) Once I fixed it, she doesn't do that anymore. Not saying that's true in every case, or that you are being negligent of your snakes at all, Sophie, but I think part of the reason people on this forum get so frustrated when this topic comes up is that this is a public space, and who knows what impressionable kid is reading this right now. People on here can be really committed to making sure the facts are straight, and it can sometimes really be worth wondering why snakes are actually doing the things they are - from a non-human point of view.