I've just skimmed over this thread and read bits and pieces here and there, but have a few comments to make. I apologise in advance if I sound curt and rude, for that is not my intent. I'm just short on time and want to save you some heartache and grief.
1. For someone just starting out with monitors that wants a monitor for a bit of a free roaming 'pet', buying a wild caught Indonesian species like
melinus is generally not a good idea. Aside from being wild caught (or hatched from eggs from wild caught females), they come from areas of high humidity and tend not to do well long term. They are also fairly shy.
2. You can search through youtube and find all sorts of videos, often from people with nicknames like 'dancingkitty', that support any preconceived ideas you have about how you want to keep your monitor, but that doesn't make them correct. I'd be willing to bet that if you told us you wanted to keep your monitor in a blue bucket with a flower pattern you'd be able to find a youtube video showing someone else keeping their monitor in a blue bucket with a flower pattern. Exciting, but not vindicating. It just means two of you are doing it incorrectly, that's all

3. Regarding the following statement...
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Originally Posted by arnoldosu1
Really? I have heard that they can survive maybe one or two years in substandard conditions, but 10? That's a long time to show no signs of poor health.
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.. are you sure the monitor showed perfect health and then dropped dead at 10 years of age for no apparent reason? Is it possible that it declined slowly, either internally or externally/visibly, before dying? 10 years is just a number. It doesn't give any indication of the health of the animal. It is also a low number when discussing lifespan of a large monitor species. I've heard many people boast of long-lived monitors under poor conditions, but when I've seen videos of those monitors during their last few years it was obvious the health was deteriorating. A post mortem of that 10 year old
melinus would have revealed visceral gout from chronic dehydration. People that own the monitor will invariably say "everything was perfect, then it died", but if everything were perfect the animal would not be dead.
Now, to answer your questions:
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Originally Posted by arnoldosu1
if that is true than I could keep a monitor for a good portion of my life and never know that I am torturing him?
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Yes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by arnoldosu1
It would also mean the majority of monitor owners might have no idea what they are doing raising their monitors?
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Yes.
I've kept monitors for a fair number of years and have spent a lot of time around assorted monitor forums. Over the years there have been many keepers posting about long-term, free roaming 'pet' monitors dying apparently suddenly, usually at the age of 5-6 years, sometimes longer. The keepers always seem surprised and claim it must have been some congenital condition (which, strangely, doesn't leave the wilds strewn with the carcasses of monitors which have died from similar random-death congenital issues). Almost always it is long term dehydration related issues.