How to deal with disapproving family?

[shaunyboy]

Originally Posted by dinosaurdammit

I guess its how I was raised deep south. Respect your elders no matter what. It doesnt mean you cannot disagree or be upset with it but basically it boils down to bite your tongue and eat crap with a smile. I dont like ti but its been instilled so hard in me I cant do differently.

i know how you feel pal,i have a 73 year old father who is just like your gran...

i could have been the first man on the moon and he would say.....

what took you so bloody long to get there,nothing i did/do is ever good enough

in the end after years and years of us not getting on,i decided to write him a letter (summertime this year),i gave the letter to my mum,who handed it to my dad as he was heading to bed...

re letter
with a letter they will sit and read it,time and time again if needed,but since your not there and its only paper,they have nothing to kick off at...

i was honest and to the point with my dad,and for now he seems to have mellowed,so writing down how you feel and explaining why you hurt,may be a way of getting through to her...

i told my dad that i understand we're from different generations,and i was grateful for my upbringing,and that i understood why he was how he is,but i would never be like him,and we are 2 completely different types of human being,and if i can respect him for who he is,then surely he can do the same when it comes to me

my father never spoke of my letter,not even to my mum,but she said the next day after giving it to him,she felt he had changed a little...

theres nothing worse than someone you love crapping all over you,so i hope you get things sorted out with your gran.....

all that said,you cannot let them constantly tare lumps out you...

you need to fix it,or no matter how hard it is...walk away before it tares you apart

all the best,shaun