You Know You've Got a Keeper When...

Abraxxos · 07-20-13, 01:28 AM

So, as reptile keepers a lot of us have to work around and with the people in our lives about our reptiles. My mother is fine with coming over to my apartment and seeing my snakes (as long as they're not in her house). My sister, Nataku, keeps reptiles of her own and loves mine. My mother's girl friend? Well let's just say family dinners aren't held in my apartment.

Parents are one thing to deal with... It's another thing entirely when you get a significant other. I've heard a few people say things along the lines of, 'I'd love more, but my girlfriend has put her foot down at 5 herps' and variations of such.

I am proud to say I have successfully found who I think is an acceptable mate. My boyfriend, Don, and I have been in a relationship for 5 years but it's long distance as he is still in school up north. He has only came down to see me in person once and spent a week here and since I was still living in my parents house, in which he wasn't exactly the definition of 'welcome' he didn't get to see a lot of the snake he had bought me (I also only had a gecko and a milk snake at the time).

He is flying in on the 24th and staying here for another week and I thought since he bought and provided money for a lot of the animals and their related needs they are just as much his as they are mine. He'll be living with these one day and knowledge is never a bad thing so I decided that while he was down here I wanted to carry a few activities with them, including handling, cleaning, home treatments, feeding and what I think will be the most fun of all? Building decorations for the enclosures.

For a while I admit I was afraid he'd shy away but I was so happy so see him hugely excited about getting to work with the animals and learning about them and doing the group projects with me (I'll definitely post a lot of pictures, by the way). I can't wait to have him down here and I'm really happy he isn't going to make me sacrifice something I love for another thing I love.

The last thing he said in the conversation was "If it's done with you, I look forwards to doing anything with you except for jumping out of a perfectly good airplane" I tried getting him to go skydiving with me last time... No luck. So I responded with "Well what if there are snakes on the plane? 'I have had it with these mother****ing snakes on this mother****ing plane!'" and he responded "Why would anything be wrong with the plane? If I catch the snakes not only have we solved the problem, I've got new snakes to give you"
Quality answer right there.

So who do you guys deal with and your herps? Anybody that completes avoids coming over? Do you ever lie about how many herps you have to make your house not sound as scary? (IE 'Oh, I've only got like... 2 snakes and a cute little gecko' In reality you have 12 snakes 3 of which bite a lot a tarantula and that gecko you're talking about? It's a tokay of all kinds') If you have one, is your boyfriend or girlfriend okay with your animals or do they put a limit on it? Were they chill with them when they met you? Did you have to ease them into the hobby? Are they still not exactly the definition of okay with them? How many boyfriends/girlfriends/general friends have you lost upon mentioning your keeping of reptiles? Did you wait a wait for the relationship to be a little solidified before you mentioned it or did you drop the bomb on the first date? Or are you the guy who neglects human socialization in order to spend as much time as possible with your herps and doesn't worry about other humans?

Thought it'd be an interesting topic to talk about considering I figure this is something that every keeper whether it's dogs, exotic birds or herps has to deal with.

ra94131 · 07-20-13, 02:25 AM

My wife took some time to warm up to the idea of keeping snakes, but loves them now. She's not completely comfortable dealing with them without me around, but has come a long way. If I get impulsive about buying another animal she'll slow me down, but if I've put thought into it she's normally on board. (And every time we go to the NARBC show she seems to come away wanting a new animal...)

As far as others go, I don't overly advertise my animals but anybody who knows me is well aware that I have a couple snakes in my office and a tortoise in the backyard. It's nice having the snakes in the office because it is set well away from most of the living areas so friends/family that are nervous around snakes don't have to see them unless they want to. (I tend to think the relatively secluded location is best for the snakes, too.)

Abraxxos · 07-20-13, 02:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ra94131

It's nice having the snakes in the office because it is set well away from most of the living areas so friends/family that are nervous around snakes don't have to see them unless they want to. (I tend to think the relatively secluded location is best for the snakes, too.)

I really wish I had a house. I'm in a 1 bed 1 bath 750 sq ft apartment. The only rooms without enclosures: my closet, my bathroom, my kitchen. Thankfully I don't have guests over often except for my sister.

infernalis · 07-20-13, 06:11 AM

My woman started this whole mess... It's her fault!

I never looked twice at monitor lizards until her.

Keeper +1

**EL Ziggy** · 07-20-13, 09:03 AM

My gf isn't really an animal lover in general but she's warming up to my cat and 2 snakes. She'll feed the cat and change the litter box sometimes, and she changes the snakes' water when I'm away on business. She even held both snakes for a whopping total of about 1 minute each last night. I know it doesn't sound like much but it's progress for her. We have agreed that I won't buy anymore snakes until we move into a house next year and I can live with that (for now).

**Aaron_S** · 07-20-13, 10:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EL-Ziggy

My gf isn't really an animal lover in general but she's warming up to my cat and 2 snakes. She'll feed the cat and change the litter box sometimes, and she changes the snakes' water when I'm away on business. She even held both snakes for a whopping total of about 1 minute each last night. I know it doesn't sound like much but it's progress for her. We have agreed that I won't buy anymore snakes until we move into a house next year and I can live with that (for now).

This isn't directed at you but I'm going to use your quote.

I don't understand this mentality. The "for now" part mostly. I would believe that any significant other who goes against their wishes of none to allow some should not have their limits pushed. It's the definition of a compromise. Each person gives something up.

Abraxxos · 07-20-13, 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aaron_S

This isn't directed at you but I'm going to use your quote.

I don't understand this mentality. The "for now" part mostly. I would believe that any significant other who goes against their wishes of none to allow some should not have their limits pushed. It's the definition of a compromise. Each person gives something up.

I think it's because they assume something will change. My boyfriend has limited me to 14 animals while I'm living in the apartment because space is limited.

My space is limited... for now. I assume in less than a year when my lease for my apartment is up, we will move into an actual house where I will have a lot more space and then he'll be fine with more animals. So I at least know why I would ever say it. I know not everyone thinks this way, but perhaps that gives a bit of insight.

Quote:

Originally Posted by infernalis

My woman started this whole mess... It's her fault!

I never looked twice at monitor lizards until her.

Keeper +1

Ahaaaa, so you were the boyfriend who was brought into the lifestyle. Very interesting

infernalis · 07-20-13, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Abraxxos

Ahaaaa, so you were the boyfriend who was brought into the lifestyle. Very interesting

I was being sneaky, I wanted another snake, she said NO.... I knew she used to have a monitor, so when I ordered the snake, I got the lizard to distract her.

well, Chomper wound up distracting ME

**EL Ziggy** · 07-20-13, 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aaron_S

This isn't directed at you but I'm going to use your quote.

I don't understand this mentality. The "for now" part mostly. I would believe that any significant other who goes against their wishes of none to allow some should not have their limits pushed. It's the definition of a compromise. Each person gives something up.

@ Aaron--I know it wasn't directed at me per se, but I thought I'd respond to your comment. I'm all for compromise when necessary, and I strongly believe in honoring one's commitments. However, there are few absolutes in life and relationships, and every situation is different. In my example, I've bought (2) snakes this year and agreed with my girlfriend to delay any future additions to my collection until we move next year. However, I know me, she knows me, and I know her. When I want something bad enough, it's hard to talk me out of it and nobody really tells me what to do anyway. Of course I wouldn't jeopardize my relationship over a snake purchase, but then again I KNOW a snake purchase wouldn't jeopardize my relationship. It would make her a little 'hissy' for a few days just like when I bought the second snake but I can live with that : ) I do try to pick my battles wisely though. This was one of those 'soft' agreements and I'll 'most likely' stick to it since I want more space to house any new critters anyway. I would have to come across an 'irresistible' offer to alter that plan but trust me, a little wining, dining and a new pair of shoes or earrings, and I'm back in her good graces. It really is give and take just like you said : )

bigsnakegirl785 · 07-20-13, 04:26 PM

My mom is all for having snakes, but they help me to wait on the buying until I can correctly house/care for any new additions. I don't really have anyone come over, not because of the snakes, but because when I see them we usually go somewhere instead. I don't know anyone who wouldn't come over if I asked them, though. Even my old friend, who I've known for almost 7 years now (probably not that long to most people, but I've moved around for most of my life, so he's the only person I've talked to for the longest), will come over every once in awhile, and he's pretty scared of snakes. He's gotten better about them in last few years, though. haha Pretty much everyone I know knows that I've got my two snakes, and want more. lol I'm not in a romantic relationship, and I don't plan on being in one anytime soon, if ever, but if a new guy came along and he couldn't deal (even just a compromise of some sort), I would be on to the next one.

StudentoReptile · 07-20-13, 05:20 PM

I think its great for keeping in-laws away. For a while, my MIL wouldn't enter the house, but she has gotten a little better. Of course, my wife just informs me that she [the MIL] had unfriended me on facebook, because she couldn't stand all the reptile stuff I post about and share.

Zoo Nanny · 07-21-13, 08:41 AM

I've been very fortunate over the years. My husband even though he doesn't much care for reptiles as a whole has been very supportive to me. We've been together for 35 years with too many animals to list but he's never said no be it mouse, goat, lizard or bird. At times he's said wait but with good cause as we would be over crowded/whelmed with care needs. He's come along way and now finds reptiles interesting to look at but not touch. When we first met he was strictly a cat/dog person but has now become a bird guy too and adores my cockatoo. He encouraged me to retire early to pursue my dream of becoming a zoo keeper and stood there routing me on as I achieved the dream. So I think I lucked out with a keeper for sure.
The only person who has ever been reluctant to come to my home is a BIL, no great loss there he's a jerk.

**EL Ziggy** · 07-21-13, 09:11 AM

Awesome stories all. Shows that those who matter most in our lives love and accept us as we are, just as we do them.

**lady_bug87** · 07-21-13, 10:55 AM

My husband (then fiancée) started this whole mess. I was open and curious since I always had pets and now I am the one asking for more snakes

franks · 07-21-13, 11:36 AM

My wife is insanely patient. When I met her I had a bearded dragon smaug, whom she loved, but has since past. It was her idea for me to get another lizard and I chose a monitor. Since, my collection has sort of taken off. She does not like snakes at all, but she did buy me a Irian Jaya Jag. Anyway, back to the patient part... we had this beautiful glass kitchen table with all glass legs. One day she came home from work to find her table missing and this in her place:
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