Wish me Good Luck with my Parents - Page 8

GarterPython · 12-27-11, 01:16 PM

I wasn't asking for unreasonable presents. One of my present ideas was that they let me get a snake and I didn't need anything for christmas. Of course they say no. But I still have hope because if a person thats mom used to think snakes were evil can get oe than I think I can. Its just really hard to stay possitive.

alessia55 · 12-27-11, 01:17 PM

I understand being disappointed. Return/exchange the sweater, give your sister the bean bag and ask your parents if you can be compensated

GarterPython · 12-27-11, 01:27 PM

My sister got a bean bag chair and I don't mind the sweater its just that it wasn't the one that I actually wanted and it was the cheapest one my parents could find at the store. My parents are very cheap. Thats why I thought that the letting me get a snake for christmas would work but like every thing else it didn't. I actually am getting closer thought because now when I talk about it instead of them immediatly saying your not getting a snake, now they kinda just pretend that they can't hear me but that is good because now they are actually listening to me. Not much closer but at least a little bit of progress.

alessia55 · 12-27-11, 01:39 PM

Well, it sounds like you're headed in the right direction. Eventually it'll work out in your favor. Stay positive!!

**lady_bug87** · 12-27-11, 01:41 PM

I dont think its fair that they wont listen to you but I also don't think what you're doing is fair either. Now in all fairness I have no idea what your family's situation is BUT it seems to me that most of your frustration is in that you simply aren't getting what you want. The wrong pet, a bean bag chair, the wrong watch the cheapest this and that

Would you really be happier if your family did everything you wanted all the time? If you ALWAYS got what you wanted would you appreciate it?

Parents make decisions sometimes it sucks but if you didn't 'hate' what they did at some point they wouldn't be parents Maybe they're being unreasonable but maybe you are too,

Be grateful you have a home and food in your stomach, that you don't have to scrounge up pennies so you can eat or work all the time just to be able to afford both heat and a place to live. Christmas is about family getting together celebrating being a family. My grandfather is 81 years old and I would trade all my animals to have him with me for another 81

SpOoKy · 12-27-11, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Be grateful you have a home and food in your stomach, that you don't have to scrounge up pennies so you can eat or work all the time just to be able to afford both heat and a place to live. Christmas is about family getting together celebrating being a family. My grandfather is 81 years old and I would trade all my animals to have him with me for another 81

Words of wisdom...I agree 100%

KORBIN5895 · 12-27-11, 02:38 PM

Way better than what I said lady bug!

Gungirl · 12-27-11, 02:40 PM

I'm with Ladybug on this one...

Rogue628 · 12-27-11, 05:59 PM

I'm a parent of two teens (16 and 18) and I agree with Lady Bug. I couldn't have said it better myself.

However, as a parent, I DO listen to what my kids ask for. But they also know that sometimes Christmas and birthdays can be hard (single parent) for me and their dad. Every since they were old enough to tell me what they wanted, I've always had a list. Either they make it themselves, or I get the one to tell on the other heehee. I always try to get 2 or 3 things on their list and get ideas from the rest of the list. However, I don't always get a chance to deliver what they want, or what they want most. But I try and they know this. But they're always grateful for whatever I get them. They know whatever I get them, I worked extra hard to get it and that means just as much to them as the gifts themselves.

I don't know you nor your situation, nor am I trying to take sides, so don't take it that way. Maybe they're "cheap" because you don't know their true financial situation. Sometimes parents only listen with half an ear or say 'no' because they're stressed financially and all they hear is "I want" which can sometimes translate into "spend money" that's hard to get the whole time they're staring at a pile of bills they have go distribute hard earned money to. Grown up life isn't as easy as it's sometimes seems. And alot of parents try to shield their children from some of the harsh realities of life.

I understand your disappointment. Even though I'm old

I still remember how it feels to be disappointed by my own parents. I'm sorry you didn't get anything you want, Molson. There could be numerous reasons why. Be grateful you actually have parents who try. So many kids in children's home that don't...so many kids who have parents that don't get them anything. My boyfriend, when he was growing up, rarely got anything from his mom for birthdays or Christmas. These days are just another day to him....so I always make sure those days are special for him now.

I don't remember your age, but I remember people suggesting a part time job. I know you don't have the transportation, but what about helping neighbors? Rake leaves, mow lawns, shovel snow, help a neighbor do some extra cleaning, an older person that may need help doing stuff they can no longer do. The pay may not be great, but it's a little something, will show dedication, determination, and desire for what you want, even if it takes a while to get it. Put a money jar in your room labeled "future snake" and start shoving every little bit of money you get and earn in it. Put it in a good place in your room where your parents can see it when they go in your room. Let them see the dedication and determination to go after what you want! Both you and your parents will learn something from it.

I know it seems like it sucks right now, but I suggest you make a plan, turn it into a goal, and try your best to achieve it. You don't have to have an hourly job to make money. Side jobs sometimes will profit you more (per hour) than an hourly minimum wage job if you try.

And maybe, when your parents see how hard you're working toward your goal, they'll help you get it. Just don't brush off your chores at home to make money elsewhere. We parents don't like that lol

Keep your chin up and good luck!

GarterPython · 12-27-11, 11:35 PM

I am very gratefull for all the stuff I have. But my parents have alot of money and both of my sisters get almost every thing they want. They are just cheap when it comes to me and almost never let me get anything. Those are alot of great words and I agree with them 100% but when my parents have the money to get stuff that is stuff I want or a little more expensive stuff and they don't spend it but they spend this money on my little sisters. Then I have a little bit of room to complain. Plus I don't want every thing. I just want a snake and some other stuff. If I got everything I wanted then I would be a spoiled brat (most likely) and would not appresiate the stuff I have and that I have a house and food that I can eat. Thanks for those words of wisdom.

candyraver69 · 12-28-11, 03:05 AM

Molson I can fully sympathize with you as my brother always got EVERYTHING he wanted, and I never got ANYTHING I wanted when we were kids. It really hurt my feelings and made me feel like they didn't pay any attention to me. Now-a-days my dad won't even talk to me but flies my brother all over the world to see him, he wouldn't even come to my wedding! My mom has started being closer with me and actually trying to get me nice gifts for holidays, if nothing else she will at least give me something I need or money, but my brother still gets everything he wants and lives off her.

There is an episode of American Dad that kinda made me feel better about this (I saw it about 2 months ago). In the episode the dad finds out that the mom's parents didn't put her in the will and only put her sister giving her everything. She was so upset, feeling like the parents were playing favorites. In the end it comes to light that the reason they did that is that they knew the dumb sister needed all the help she could get, and the character who plays the mom was fully competent to take care of herself and had a great husband also to watch over her.

That little scenario may or may not have anything to do with your or my parents intentions, but I tell you what- you will be more prepared for the real world than your sisters kiddo! You will know the value of hard work and have a chance to succeed in life. They have been spoonfed so long that when they go out into the real world they won't know how to fend for themselves. So in the end you are the winner.

ZARADOZIA · 12-28-11, 04:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by molson102

I am very gratefull for all the stuff I have. But my parents have alot of money and both of my sisters get almost every thing they want. They are just cheap when it comes to me and almost never let me get anything. Those are alot of great words and I agree with them 100% but when my parents have the money to get stuff that is stuff I want or a little more expensive stuff and they don't spend it but they spend this money on my little sisters. Then I have a little bit of room to complain. Plus I don't want every thing. I just want a snake and some other stuff. If I got everything I wanted then I would be a spoiled brat (most likely) and would not appresiate the stuff I have and that I have a house and food that I can eat. Thanks for those words of wisdom.

I understand and it sucks feeling that way. I have an older brother that I never really knew (he didn't live with us) and my mother always compared me to him, I was never quite good enough. Favortism blows, one of the reasons I never had another kid, just my one. I know it is natural to have a favorite and I just didn't feel that it would be fair to place a child in that situation, so I still have my favorite and no one feels left out or ignored because there is only one.

I don't know your parents reasoning or thoughts behind their actions, but please keep in mind that as parents, we don't share our reasoning. It is what it is. Sometimes there are really good reasons for our actions and we do not deem it necessary to share it, sometims it is because we don't feel the need to explain ourselves and others it is because we don't think our children would understand because you scope of experiences is so limited compared to ours.

And sometimes parents are just *&^%# (insert bad word of choice).

I can only remember 2 Christmases from my childhood. The first was when I was 2 and my Teddy was under the tree with a big red bow. I love that Teddy and I still have him, his music box still works.

The second was when I was 6 or 7. My family was dirt poor and didn't have any money for Christmas, literally. My parents were going to food banks just to feed us. So my mom tells me that we are going to fill our boxes with clothes and wrap them so we have something to open on Christmas day. I remember sitting in the living room with my mom stuffing shirts and socks into boxes and wrapping them. When we were done our tree had LOTS of present under it. On Christmas day we sat on the floor and opened them all, laughing and giggling together, prancing around and pretending our clothes were more than what they were. That is the only happy memory I have. It's also one of the few memories I have of my mother being happy.

The only moral to this story is to enjoy every thing you can, no matter how small. I know it is hard to be grateful in your heart when you know it could be so much more, so much better. And there is nothing wrong with feeling that, it is a part of growing. Just remember, in 2 more years you will be a legal adult, and you will be able to make all these decisions for yourself and will no longer have to rely on the whims of your parents. I think that is what you need to focus on; providing your wants and needs yourself instead of relying on someone else. That is the greatest mark of a mature adult. Make your plan now, outline your goals and then work your butt off to make your dreams come true. In the end, it will feel a million times better than relying on someone to hand you the things you want. Plus being able to say, "No, that's ok. I worked my butt off and got it myself." feels really good!

KORBIN5895 · 12-28-11, 06:25 AM

Update us if you get a snake.

GarterPython · 12-28-11, 05:25 PM

I will keep you guys posted and thank you all for the help. You really opened my eyes and I really like your idea of the future snake jar because I do lots of side jobs like Babysitting and doing stuff for neighboors. I hope this stuff works and I will be trying it. The thing is that I can't make my own choices at 18 because I will probably still be living with my parents as I do not have very much money. And there rule is as long as I live under there roof then I will be following there rules.

**lady_bug87** · 12-28-11, 05:38 PM

you may find that as you get older your goals will change and by the time you are 18 you may not want a snake you may want something else

Its true you have to live under your parents' rules, and Zara is right (though I dont agree that all parents of multiple children have a favourite, my parents for example) parents will do what they deem appropriate regardless of how much money they have they will do what they want

You would be amazed what your parents would do or go without for you regardless if you feel that they love you less than you may feel they love your sisters

Save your money, help out friends that have herps, or volunteer a zoo or pet store, If and when the time is right and if it is still important to you, you will have your animals. Make your own money and you can even buy whatever you want

Until then work on being a good student get that distinction your parents want you to get just for the accomplishment of getting it and stop worrying about what you dont yet have