Need a smile? the ZARADOZIA awesome joke thread - Page 4

ZARADOZIA · 10-25-11, 04:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alessia55

Back to the thread topic though... I didn't know that starfish had no brains... but did you know that starfish eat by ejecting their stomachs and taking in their food directly into their stomachs that way?

Ew. Didn't know that either...lol

Kayla90 · 10-25-11, 04:49 AM

Wooo Polar Bears for the win!!!!
Left-Handedness all the way :P

Lankyrob · 10-25-11, 04:57 AM

Here is an idea i came up with in my philosophy class at age 15, i was almost EXPELLED from school fro submitting this. I believe the question we had to answer was "How can the government deal with prisoners more effectively (less reoffending) and raise money for a better society at teh same time"

My answer was ..............

We should set up "Sin Houses" - in these houses you can hire prostitutes legally, they will be given healthcare, treated as employees so that all employment laws cover them, and the prices will include a tax element that the government can collect. Also in these houses will be rooms where violent prisoners will be kept, for a price public can enter these rooms with complete impunity and do anything they like to punish these criminals, you can have additional charges for renting weapons etc to use on the criminals.

These punishment rooms will severely reduce the number of repeat offenders and remove the likelihood of prostitutes getting stuck in the drug addiction/having to prostitute themselves cycle.

Lankyrob · 10-25-11, 05:35 AM

God made all people equal but some are more equal than others

Righthanded people were practice moulds for Lefties

ZARADOZIA · 10-25-11, 06:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lankyrob

Here is an idea i came up with in my philosophy class at age 15, i was almost EXPELLED from school fro submitting this. I believe the question we had to answer was "How can the government deal with prisoners more effectively (less reoffending) and raise money for a better society at teh same time"

My answer was ..............

We should set up "Sin Houses" - in these houses you can hire prostitutes legally, they will be given healthcare, treated as employees so that all employment laws cover them, and the prices will include a tax element that the government can collect. Also in these houses will be rooms where violent prisoners will be kept, for a price public can enter these rooms with complete impunity and do anything they like to punish these criminals, you can have additional charges for renting weapons etc to use on the criminals.

These punishment rooms will severely reduce the number of repeat offenders and remove the likelihood of prostitutes getting stuck in the drug addiction/having to prostitute themselves cycle.

Oh I like you more and more every day.

ZARADOZIA · 10-25-11, 06:18 AM

LOL I'm ambidextrous. Comes in handy since I do my own nails.

UwabamiReptiles · 10-25-11, 06:21 AM

Rob that is awesome.

**lady_bug87** · 10-25-11, 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZARADOZIA

I'm a little more brutal.

Take him far up in the mountains to a log cabin.
Nail his *P* & *B's* to the wall.
Hand him a butter knife.
Then set the place on fire.

That is going to be my new favourite threat

Lankyrob · 10-25-11, 10:32 AM

I am too, left hand dominant but can use both hands for everything, tho now i dont practice writing righthanded it is a bit scrawly.

KORBIN5895 · 10-25-11, 08:10 PM

Old people are great! I work at a nursing home and I could picture a few faces as I read this. The only scary thing I see about getting old is Alzheimer disease. We have a lady under 60 with it.

Snakefood · 10-25-11, 08:50 PM

I have a very beloved 91 (92 in Jan) Grandmother!!

jaleely · 10-25-11, 11:40 PM

ah haha! i emailed those to my mom hehehe

ZARADOZIA · 10-26-11, 05:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KORBIN5895

Old people are great! I work at a nursing home and I could picture a few faces as I read this. The only scary thing I see about getting old is Alzheimer disease. We have a lady under 60 with it.

Alzheimer is one that scares the stuffings out of me. One of the resons I read & study so much, to keep all parts of the brain active.

My son's Great G-ma has it and it's heart breaking. I don't want to be like that. I do look forward to being the silly Great G-ma sitting on the front porch that the Grand kids giggle at though!

**Cool scientific factoid:
Reading jokes that makes you laugh and think uses more brain power than not. Because of this, if you can make learning entertaining (quick wit, intelligent wit) you will learn twice as fast.

ZARADOZIA · 11-04-11, 05:19 AM

ZARADOZIA · 11-04-11, 05:22 AM

My all time favorite: