Best One-Liners

[Daimon]

" PEACE " Through superior firepower!

[McCarthy Boas]

All the guy I work with must be "GAY" because every time I walk away from them I hear them say "what a a$$"

[doenoe]

"Make love, not war.............get STD's and more"

[clint545]

"I didn't come here to be insulted."
"Where do you go? I'll meet you there."

"I just got back from the beauty parlour."
"Closed, were they?"

Money is the root of all evil.
The lack of money is the root of all evil - Mark Twain

[kerri4776]

Originally posted by clint545
"I didn't come here to be insulted."
"Where do you go? I'll meet you there."

lmao

[damzookeeper]

chinese proverbs:
-verginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
-man who run in front of car get tired.
-man who run behind car get exhausted.
-man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
-man with one chopstick go hungry.
-man who scratch arse should not bite finger nails.
-man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
-Baseball is wrong:man with four balls can not walk.
-Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth.
-man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
-it take many nails to build crib, but only one screw to fill it.
-man who live in glass houses should change clothes in basement.
-man who fart in church sit in own pew.

And my favorite two. lol
-War does not determine who is right. war determine who is left.
-man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

other bumper stickers, one liners and saying I love.
-Gone crazy be back soon.
-Money talks, it just never says when it's coming back.
-I have a very responsible job here, I'm responsible for everything that goes wrong!
-
THis is my motto. lol
-I'm going to live within my income even if I have to borrow money to do it!

"come on, I dare you, mother in law in trunk"

Don't laugh it's paid for!

If you can't beat them join them. If you can't join them, RAT them out!

[Phrasty]

yeah yeah yeah!! at least I'll be sober in the morning, you'll still be ugly!

Phrasty

[damzookeeper]

Originally posted by Phrasty
yeah yeah yeah!! at least I'll be sober in the morning, you'll still be ugly!

Phrasty

lol, I love that one!!

[CallDawg]

alittle late but

here are a few I enjoy

colder than a witches T***y in a cast iron bra on the shady side of an iceberg.

IF she got any dumber she'd have to be watered twice a week.

if you choke a smurf what colour does it turn?

way late I know, but thought I would share

[CallDawg]

and also

He is so cheap he could squeeze a nickle till the beaver farts

[Tim and Julie B]

If you are what you eat, I'm fast and cheap.

I'm big in Europe.

I do what my rice krispies tell me to.

I'm the Irishman your mother warned you about.

[Minnow]

All that aside Mrs. Kennedy,
How was the rest of your trip to Dallas?

[peterm15]

blah blah blah.. who gives a s@#$...

well la-de-f@#$%n-da

"im trying to see things from your point of view, but i cant stick my head that far up my a$$"

"regretibly, all the good paying jobs start before i get up"

"drink till shes cute... stop before the wedding"

"mean people suck"

"dont be a ****"

" he who laughs last thinks slowest"

"i can only please one person a day, todays not your day and tomorrows not looking good either"

"canadian chicks rock... american chicks suck" (think dirty)

"beer... helping ugly ppl have sex since 1840"

"marijauna, a proud supporter of the snack food industry"

"marijauna, at least its not crack"

thats all i can think of right now..

[Senator Gracken]

my imaginary friend thinks you have serious issues

[crazy4reptiles]

"Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks"

"Borrow money from a pessimist, they don't expect it back"

"Consciousness: That annoying time between naps"

"Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together"

"For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain"

"Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies"

"Friends may come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate"

"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder"

"I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you"

"If you can't convince them, confuse them"

"Never miss a good chance to shut up"

"The more you complain, the longer God makes you live"

"When there's a will, I want to be in it"