You might be a herper if . . .

[andrea]

Originally posted by KrokadilyanGuy3


....45. Your grandmother walks in from the kitchen and says, "Should I help you catch that Gator?"

no, that is if you live here in louisiana hehehe

[Dom]

47. you see any furry animal as snake food
48. you threw out your bed in order to make more room for cages
49. you see anything in stores as somewhat usefull in a snake cage

[Steeve B]

47 you keep your apartment at a constant 85F, with lights pointed at the couch to make a 95F basking spot.
48. you sex fruit flies when you're at a grocery store.
49. upon seeing the Vanity Fair issue with the picture of Cindy
Crawford, naked, with a boa constrictor around her and the first reaction of my herper friends was „Nice looking snake, distinct markings...must be a boa constrictor constrictor...looks like a Surinam."
50. you see someone walking their Chihuahua or Yorkshire and think „hmm...snake food."
51. your friends need to pull out at least three guinea pigs from the fridge to find the salami.
52. you go through the store checkout with 18 différent fruits and veggies (none of which you plan to eat)?
53. you judge the quality of a garage sale by the potential herp housing units for sale.
54. you get regular shipments of thousands of live crickets and your postman just rings the doorbell, drops the box and runs;
55. everyone you know says „`Vhy ON EARTH do you want to go to ORLANDO in AUGUST every year??"
56. your husband tiptoes in to check on the baby Northern Blue Tongues every night just to „see how cute they are sleeping."
57. you get a sunburn and worry that your shed isn't coming off in one piece.
58. you've sold your soul to your produce manager in exchange or dandelion greens. 45. you sleep on the couch, but have a lovely reptile setup in the bedroom.
59. you've said „Are aquariums all right?" to a prospective landlord and own no fish.
60. you evaluate potential apartments/townhouses by the location of the electrical sockets, and the how easily the second bedroom can accommodate all of your turtle tanks.
61. you have 27 bowls marked „dog" or „kitty" and no dogs or cats.
62. you ask the local drug store for a No-Pest „fly" Strip in January.
63. you've every microwave cooked a Cup O'Noodle and defrosted a mouse at the same time.
64. you've got in trouble from your girlfriend for looking at the free kitten adds with a gleam in your eye. (just kidding)
65. you have a well stocked medicine cabinet but none of its for you.
66. the Delta Cargo people recognize you on sight
67. you've ever told you apartment manager that you'll be able to pay your rent after the eggs hatch .
68. your wrists are so criss-crossed with scratches that people think you're just really bad at trying to HI yourself .
69. you tell people on the phone,, I can't talk now, I've got a lizard on my head."
70. you're lulled into a deep sleep by the melodic chirp of crickets, even though you live in a high rise.
71. redecorating the house means finding a way to squeeze in another aquarium.
72. you don't take vitamins but all your herps do. .
73. you lie awake at night trying to figure out why your crickets aren't reproducing.
74. someone at the emergency vet leans over and asks you if your animal is real.
75. you know the calcium-to-phosphorous ratios of common vegetables without looking them up.
76. you consider collard greens, dandelion greens, parsnips, mustard green, and escarole to be common vegetables.
77. you keep insisting to your spouse that the trio of Brazilian rainbow boas you just brought home only cost 45 dollars

[beth wallbank]

78. when you are able to convert old furniture into herp cages without spending a ton of money
79. your kids teacher is suspiciously away ill everytime it's your kids show and tell day.
80. you can meticulously probe a snake in seconds but tear each and every condom you attempt to put on ..
81. you know what is on the nature channel for the entire week and cancel Friday night out with the guys to watch a rattle snake rerun
82. when you visit someones house and go dumpster diving in thier bathroom trash can for toilet paper rolls for baby snake hides
83. when you're invited to a formal wear dinner party, and you show up in a newly purchased snake t shirt.
84. you know how to convert your grandmas crochet hooks into snake probes
85. when your neighbours catch you on a daily basis crawling on your hands and knees around thier front lawns collecting dandelion leaves for your herps.
86. the cops have raided your house on more than one occasion for having a grow op because of your electrical bill
87. you are asked to see photos of your family in your wallet and all you have to share are snake pictures and a neatly folded up piece of snake shed.

[vincenzo]

that is too funny i personally don't have much too add

[Dom]

I say # 80 Takes the cake lol!!!!!!

[Steeve B]

Oh my god, aim so sorry to have started this tread, we really need a therapy forum.
I feel much better Now that I know my problem, well got to go I have some cages to clean.

[andrea]

******79. your kids teacher is suspiciously away ill everytime it's your kids show and tell day.*******


i can SOOOOOO relate to that lol

[Edwin]

lol

[Nanashi04]

heheh!
those are the best... I agree, #80 is great.

[V.aw]

Dont know what number its at.. Haven't read everything but. heres a couple more.

You look at every piece of furniture and see a possible enclosure!
You buy lice removers and get wierd looks at the drug store

[norman]

90. your home has wire mesh covering any tight dark place,such as the hole in the wall and that damn space between the floor and the fridge!

[J.J.]

91. Everytime you are driving with your friends you tell them you need to stop home to get somthing before you go to thier house, and you end up staying at your house for an hour showing them your snake hunting and eating and give them a demonstration and explain everything that is happening as you watch your snake hunt.

I had to put that on here, I sware I have given all my family mebers a "snake feeding" demonstration! lol

[Alicewave]

92: You tell your significant other "Suuuuure, we can have kids. Somebody's gotta clean all the reptile cages"

[silke]

OMG
i started doing a list of the ones that apply in particular but when i got to 47-77 I gave up because they are ALL true
I am so glad i'm not the only one out of controll
hot apartment...sleeping to the sound of chirping crix...more mice than people food in the freezer... people in the grocery store commenting on how healthy i eat (from all the greens i buy) and then going all bug-eyed when i say it's for my lizards...ooo and aaaahhing over how cute my ig is as he sleeps....68 DEFINITELY, 69, 71, 75

damn i did it anyways....