convincing the wife... - Page 2

clint545 · 12-14-04, 01:05 PM

When I was younger and lived at home, and wanted reptiles; it was my mother that was the block. My old man always told us, she can say no, but there's not much she can do once it's in the house. That's how my brother got his first boa! LOL

chas*e · 12-14-04, 01:11 PM

This is the #1 reason most people don't own snakes..weird eh,...My "no snakes in ireland" wife hates snakes...but I have a 100...It took some time but I showed her how safe I was going to keep them and she warmed up to the idea...afterall you could have worst hobbies(drugs,booze ,other chicks)...Education is the key...she still hates snks and has nothing to do with them but it is my hobby not hers.....welll GOod Luck

BOAS_N_PYTHONS · 12-14-04, 01:48 PM

KILOS:

Sit her down make it look romantic, present her with a box with the boa in it and a smaller box containing a ring or some form of jewlery.......it might go over real well..........lol

Actually sit here down have something worked out like a business plan, show her how this snake will join the family, care for it, responsibilities on it, show some books, reading material, websites - forums, tv shows and what is your plan in the future with it. If all this goes well and open minded, try and visit someone with snakes that will instruct you both on snakes without being crazy and putting more fear. I know people love to scare people with snakes when the people seeing them are totally fearful so find someone who wants and is capable of being a positive influence than a negative one. Depending on what is done in that session many people start to rethink this fear and some join the fearless.

My family is old world and from the old country. The idea of snakes as pets or staying in same house was not something easy to convince. But because I did all the above and try to teach than scare, I have most of them now standing in the same room with snakes, where they would not agree before. My mother was very fearful before now reachs out to touch the boids tails or skin, took 4 years but she was the most fearful and she is getting very comfortable now.

Just don' t pressure the issue, but show both pros/cons and people knowing your character will either believe you or never change that fear.

Cya...

Tony

reptiguy420 · 12-14-04, 02:05 PM

See i had the EXACT same problem as you, girlfriend of 8 years hated snakes.I just couldnt help it any longer i went to a reptile show in Detroit Michigan and bought my first boa.I put the snake and the setup in our spare bedroom.Wouldnt you know it i got a phone call later on at work, can you guess who it was?Anyways i got chewed out for getting one, and SHE was the one who didnt want to have it in the living room.That first week i swear she was checking out that boa every 15 min. just to see what it was doin lol.About a week after that, we moved it into the living room so she didnt have to keep getting off the couch to see what the snake was doin.Now i have 6 boas, 7 cresteds, 2 leechies, and a bearded dragon.Just get one shell get over it, heck she might even like em later on like mine does.

Good Luck!

peterm15 · 12-14-04, 04:04 PM

MY g-friend used to like lizards but now she doesnt.... something about me paying more attention to them.... blah blah blah... i dunno i wasnt listning.....

you may take that as a joke but im being totally honest

marisa · 12-14-04, 04:11 PM

I still remember going to a reptile show a few years ago. My boyfriend said "honey can I please get a snake" and I was like NO WAY!

Well he ended up bringing a snow corn home. I wouldn't touch its tank let alone the snake.

four/five years later....I am more interested in snakes than he is!

Marisa

nickykci · 12-19-04, 01:59 PM

i got the opposite problem, I wanted a Corn snake, but my Husband wouldn't let me get one...lol...

anyways he hates snakes, he's from africa (Togo), where snakes can be dangerous...so i understood why, but me being so hard-headed, wouldn't give up.

I educated him about corn snakes, told him that it would be my responsability, and basically it is my hobby, not his...we all have out hobbies, some good some bad...he has his bad habbits that I don't like, but I still accept. Made him understand that, and he tought it over, and finally accepted.

He even came with me to go get it, which was a 3h drive.

He dosen't normally touch my corn snake, but he did hold it once or twice =)

Good luck, and don't give Up!!! =)

K1LOS · 03-09-05, 08:45 PM

you drove three hours for a corn snake??? Guess there aren't many around moncton eh?

Well, i went and did it. I picked up a red tail boa the other day. Let me tell you, did the sh*t ever hit the fan. She is still here though, kinda... Slowly starting to come around and actually talk to me again, SLOWLY. She won't even go in the reptile room anymore, which is a shame because she loves the beardies, geckos and the cham.

I should have read this thread again before i went and did it. That ring suggestion might of really helped.

So for anybody planning on doing this in the future, i'd set up a tent in the backyard ahead of time, buy a big bottle of rum to help pass the time out there, and order some flowers before the snake! You'll be in for a bumpy ride, LOL.

Realistically, its the only way you'll actually get a snake for people in a situation like mine. I'll let you all know if she actually starts to get over the fear.

Thanks everyone

Geoff

joey · 03-09-05, 09:45 PM

My boyfriend is sorta scared of my snakes too...... He cringed the first time I let him hold one of the corns...he thinks it's cool that I like them though.

evil11 · 03-09-05, 09:58 PM

i have always kept my snakes in my bedroom. my boyfriend of one year woke up one morning and said 'when we move i dont want to wake up to snakes anymore' well i realized he dont like them and never will. he realized not only wasn't he not gonna wake up to snakes any more he wasn't gonna wake up to me anymore. i had the snakes when i met him and he knew they were part of my family. needless to say i never talked to him again.

Nicki · 03-10-05, 08:28 AM

I've got to say, I've helped lots of people get over their fears, by introducing them slowly to my snakes. I don't agree with "just buy one and the significant other will get over it". You care deeply about that person, or why would you be living with them? There are better ways to help someone over their fears, before you actually bring a boa into your home. Just my 2 cents.

joey · 03-10-05, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Nicki
I've got to say, I've helped lots of people get over their fears, by introducing them slowly to my snakes. I don't agree with "just buy one and the significant other will get over it". You care deeply about that person, or why would you be living with them? There are better ways to help someone over their fears, before you actually bring a boa into your home. Just my 2 cents.

Alright Nicki!! I TOTALLY agree with you!

RaVeNo888o · 03-23-05, 01:30 PM

my gf wasn't so hot about my snakes at first, but didn't mind that i had them, as i was living 4 hours away from her :P . But then i switched schools and was going to be in residence in windsor, while she has an apartment, and she offered to keep the snakes at her place so i didnt have to get rid of them when moved. They started our both being in her closet (without a door), but since then i have put the ijcp in a bigger rubbermaid and it sits at the end of the bed and she sits there and looks, and if i take out my kingsnake, she asks to hold it.

She actually named the ijpc 'Mr. Big'.. hes about 3.5 feet or so, not THAT big, but her reasoning is that hes bigger than the king so therefore he is big

She wants some dart frogs or red eyed tree frogs now, and we almost got her some for her birthday but money was tight, and she is actually now entertaining the idea of getting her own corn snake, which i have willinginly offered to feed for her :P (she doesnt like the whole dead rodent thing, she grew up having pet rats).

I was on teh forum one day and was looking at some brazilian rainbows, and she was like "WHAT IS THAT!" so she eventually wants one of those too :P

I've got her under my thumb (haha, only in this area though)

ddansik · 03-23-05, 03:48 PM

I started out getting my son a ball python then got a baby red tail boa when my husband got used to that i added bigger ones he sleeps in the same room as 4 rtb's but when they come out I still have to yell boa comming through so he does not freak

K1LOS · 03-24-05, 12:09 AM

All is well between the gf and i once again, although she is still quite scared of the snake. My boa lives in a tank inside the closet of the reptile room, naturally we keep the door open when my gf isn't in there.

I believe the only way she will get over the fear of my boa is if it is around her more often. To accomadate this, i think eventually i will move it into a different room, somewhere she will have to go occasionally but not necessarily every day.

so step 1 was getting her to accept it being in the house, step 2 is now to have her able to have it in sight, step 3 will be to get her to actually hold it, and eventually step 4 would be her even liking it.

I'll let you know when step 2 takes action!

Geoff