A plea... - Page 2

reptilesalonica · 05-05-03, 10:28 AM

I believe that because a forum is the mirror of our real world, it is very hard people from various ages to not have arguments in the long run. A 30 year old cannot communicate completely all the time with a 12 year old. Maybe it is a good idea one 2nd site for kids 5-16 years old and this one for older ages 17-107 years old. Not that then there won't be any arguments because as i said these forum are like the real world we're living. Is the mirror of the real world. What we all can do is thinking twice before we reply to a hursh and offentive post. Many times ignorance is way better than anger.
~Greg~

Beejay · 05-05-03, 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Vic
I dunno about having seperate forums, i think its a good thing kids and adults debate on topics, granted sometimes it can get childish but without the mix the younger ones will miss out on vital information.

I agree! Also, I've learned a lot from young kids. Don't forget about the benefit of the knowledge some of these kids have gained throughout several years of herping before some of us old folks even started.

Especially awesome, is KATE!!!!!!!

Bj

Zoe · 05-05-03, 02:33 PM

Yeah, true, I mean what would 5-16 yr olds have to say to each other?

When I wrote that I didn't mean there was a HUGE problem. By all means, discussion is a great thing! But I had seen a lot of stupid, childing, immature arguments over the past few days usually involving all or some of the same people, and was hoping by posting this perhaps those people would stop being offended so easily and remember what this site is for :]

Zoe

Xetox · 05-05-03, 04:16 PM

I talked to a few guys at a show this weekend about ssnakes out of 4 one still remains here.....wont mention names.....but the others said that left for this exact reason, to much misinformation and to much flaming....

It just seems anyone with a corn snake for a month becomes a expert....I know I am no expert at anything but I have been working with herps most of my life and I will state my opinion on things...but I also ask alot of guestions and seem to get good information when I do.

I say rock on ssnakess and a little disagreement can be fun sometimes!

jpaulson · 05-05-03, 05:57 PM

As I may of said before, I do not think that age should be the determiner in what may or may not become a flame. It is the persons actions that determine if a thread will become a flame or not. I have spoken with many a young herper on these forums that have impressed me more than any "adult". A good example is "Boaguy" from another site--BW and Herpkingdom know who he is. This guy is 13 years old, but by his actions, set-ups, and words, he is one of the most mature people I have ever heard, not to mention the volumes of information that I have gained from him. If we were to put a "age limit" on these sites, then I would of never had a chance to meet this guy and learn what I have.

It is so much easier to call names and start flames when you have not met most of these people in person. It is quite easy to get carried away with flames when you will never have to really do anything other than hit the power button . Lets keep this in mind the next time we want to flame....remember and respect that there ARE people here, people with feelings and emotions.

Finally, as I have stated before on this site, it all begins with the admins and moderators. I have seen alot of name calling, bashing, and flaming on this site that has not had much input from the admins. Although we are all adults here, or at least should conduct ourselves that way, I think the admins need to get a little more involved in controlling the forums. Stop something before it gets out of hand--warn someone of un-appropriate behavior--kick someone out--do something!! Again, I frequent other sites as well, and one in particular does not tolerate ANY offensive behaviors--you cannot even incinuate a cuss word. At first, it was aggravating--but then I began to understand. No one can control another person or the words that they choose to use--the only thing that can be done is to stop it quickly, warn them of thier behavior and how it is not appropriate for this site, and give them another chance. If they violate it again, then banish them--block thier URL--whatever it takes!!

But it all starts with us, and remembering to treat everyone and every member with the respect that you expect to be treated with.

tHeGiNo · 05-05-03, 06:53 PM

LOL I am laughing about the 5-16 idea, that is kind of dumb don't you think? I am 16 and don't start flames nor provide false information. Common think about it, that is really not fair, it is never fair to generalize.

jpaulson · 05-05-03, 08:57 PM

Actually, Gino, look at what you just said: "LOL I am laughing about the 5-16 idea, that is kind of dumb don't you think?"

Then you go on to say that you don't start flames. I think this is a good example of the thread. Although you may not think you start a flame, you may un-intentionally. Laughing at someone's idea and then calling it dumb is a good way to start a flame. That is usually how they start. Someone says something, and then someone else perceives it out of context--then you have a flame starting.

Although it may be difficult to do, I think we all need to REALLY re-read our posts, and then ask yourself if any of it may be taken hostile. If it is, then change it before hitting that submit button. What one person may think is harmless, another may take as a personal attack. That is just the difference in human interaction. It happens.

marisa · 05-05-03, 09:09 PM

I agree with what you said in your post.

But I think part of it also has to do with people being WAY to sensitive. I try my best to sound nice, constructive and informative without being "bossy" or "rude" but sometimes I can only type so nice before it becomes fake for crying out loud, and even THEN someone is "upset"

I agree that people should re-read their posts and make sure the wording will get your true meaning across the internet correctly, but while that means everyone acting like adults....acting like adults also means realizing everything can't be as you like it, and not being super over sensitive. It is 50/50 on this issue IMHO.

Marisa

jpaulson · 05-05-03, 10:49 PM

My comment was that everyone SHOULD conduct themselves as adults--wishful thinking!! Fact is, we are dealing with people from all walks of life--all levels of income, all family sizes, all nationalities, and all ages. Everyone has thier own interpretation of what "adult" or "mature" behavior is--therein lays our problem. I agree, Marissa, I too try to approach each post with the same respect that I wish to receive--at times it gets frustrating, especially to those that chose to ignore advice, or try to start a flame. Fact is, there is no answer to the question. We will always deal with such a diverse community--thats part of what makes these sites so wonderful! But, along with that, comes the perils of dealing with people that you only know through thier keyboards.

All anyone can do is take a good look at themselves, and see how they can improve thier communication skills, such as being overly sensitive, quick to jump with a negative attitude, etc...

As it has been said so many times before..." Can't we all just get along?"

katev17 · 05-06-03, 07:23 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Beejay
Especially awesome, is KATE!!!!!!!

Don't worry guys, as long as you keep this in your mind, nothing can go wrong.

Just don't forget it!

heehee

Kate

JeffT · 05-06-03, 07:33 AM

I 150% DISAGREE with having a seperate forum for kids. Thats a dumb idea. I think that would start more problems. Unfortunately there would be a lot more fights among just teens. I think a lot of the other herpers in their teens on this site feel the same was as I do.

Alicewave · 05-06-03, 11:19 AM

Quote:

I think the admins need to get a little more involved in controlling the forums. Stop something before it gets out of hand--warn someone of un-appropriate behavior--kick someone out--do something!!

I just want to say that the admins here do everything they can. Most flame threads have been stopped before most people even see them, I'm sure Jeff will address this himself, but I know the mods and admins aer doing there job. Take a look at the bottom of the page, this site is #1 four times over, with well over 2000 members now, it's not easy to catch all the flame wars before they start. They are doing there best. If people would learn to treat each other civily in the first place, things wouldn't get out of hand to begin with.

Edwin · 05-06-03, 12:29 PM

I think that is goes both ways, people should be more careful to be clear in their posts, and also not to read too much into other people's posts.

All of us are very passionate about our hobby, and I think raising herps is not an exact science, but an art. There are many different ways of doing things, and each of us have our own preferences.

I do not think it is necessary to have a separate forum for kids, in fact, I have learnt a lot from the 'kids' here, they are more mature than some adults I know.

Besides, there is nothing really offensive like nudity, violence or swearing that is not fit for kids.

Personally, I enjoy the discussions we have here, they are a wealth of information. Like Marisa said, if all we did was agree with each other, it would be rather boring...

aqua_demon · 05-06-03, 05:32 PM

I agree there is no need for the fighting cant we all just get along but i think thank the rude remarks about age was uncalled for there are alot of underaged teens here that are ensightful smart and know just as much as anyone else i think you owe them an apology! Dont you?

marisa · 05-06-03, 05:36 PM

This is the problem right here.

You think someone said somethign mean about teens, but in reality they just made an offhand remark that wasn't directed at anyone. It wasn't an insult, it wasn't a "Fact" it was just a statement, yet you want/demand an apology for it. When to really keep things smooth, people need to learn to just let such TINY insignifigant remarks go. Its just the internet. Just the internet.

Edwins point about reading into posts too much is my opinion too. People get way over reacting about things that are said in a virtual forum where thousands of people from all walks of life visit.

Marisa