What would you do?? (Girlfriend stuff)

[if_i_were_u]

J-man r we living the same body or what dude. My and my girl for about 2.5 years are having a really rough time and you basically discrided it to the tee. I understand what you r going through and you seem to be handling it better than i am. I hope everything works out well for you because i know exactly what you are going through. Good luck,

Joe

[Slannesh]

As to whether to take her back or not, you are the only one who can answer that. One thing I have learned over the years is that even though you always intend for "forever" to mean just that it often isn't. What you go for when you're 16 is going to be much different than what attracts you when you're 25. But who knows? Some people get it right the first time and are happy till death do you part. I know I certainly wasn't one of those!

People do really ****** things to other people all the time, that's the reality. Love makes you ignore warning signs and common sense, no shame in it, we've all fallen victim to it at least once. Or at least I hope we have.

The best advice I can give you is do what makes you happy. But be prepared to live with the concequences. Sometimes it's better to sacrifice short term happiness to be better off in the long run. But you have the luxury of being young right now, you can afford to make mistakes that us old folks can't anymore Keep your chin up and don't take any crap that you don't have to.

Slan

[J-Man]

Thanks again everybody. I'm feeling a lot better.

"if i were u" - I'm sorry man... you must be taking it VERY hard if you say I seem to taking it better than you... because it was extremely hard on me. If you ever wanna talk about it or anything my aim is AmishCIA and my e-mail is Jeremy@newsmakerstv.com.

[SCReptiles]

Really nothing that any man can say that will cheer you up. Of course there are a ton of things that chicks can say that will perk you right back up. Ha ha. Time is the only thing that helps these situations. Try to focus on something else until you find a new girl, and I assure you there will be a new one soon. =) Try hitting in Jenn, she is pretty hot.

[J-Man]

hahaha

[V.hb]

hey J-Man, First off everyone has given some great advice here. But if you feel crappy, and alone as you said you may want to go talk to a counselor. Schools have em' (i think the US does?) or you can just talk to your doctor. No sense in letting to much thinking bring you down ya know? Just stay healthy, and do whats best for #1, YOU! Good luck.

[Chair]

Wow V.hb, that is good advice. I also like Corey Woods, man did I laugh when I read that, but easier said than done. I hope all is going well for you Jeremy, I know how tough this stuff is.
It seems that this little community is not totally specialized in herps eh?


Josh

[J-Man]

Yeah it is good advice V.hb... sorry I didn't see it earlier... must have not gotten the notification. I don't go to school though (college... self stufy... complicated lol) so the counselor thing is out of the question. It's a good idea though. Thanks.

Jeremy

[RachelS.]

I haven't read this whole thread so excuse me if I repeat this. I just thought I'd say it right away. First off, it sounds like she's cheating on you, majorly.
But then again, I went through something somewhat like this and I was the girlfriend...
I had being going out with this one guy for about 3 months during summer. My first TRUE feelings for a real guy. Well, I started school and we still talked every night as usual until a friend from out of town came over and I was sort of flirting with this guy at school (his worst nightmare and my biggest mistake). Since my friend was over I thought it would be rude to talk to someone on the phone, because I mean, she's the guest and all. But my big mistake was letting that one guy charm me. I ended up calling my boyfriend up, and being the honest "never tell a lie, tell alomost everything to your bf" type.. I told him about the situation. Well we had gone over this before about if he or I found another person we liked that we would go out with them, but each of us would always get upset and say "no I'd never do that to you!" So he insisted I go out with the guy and for about an hour I kept saying "no, no way... I could never hurt you" But he had the idea that he wanted me to go out with that guy and then if I ever broke up with the guy I could go back out with my boyfriend again. So I took that chance, but soon regreted it. Because well, you know, the next day I was asked out by the guy I had a crush on... I turned him down (because I wasn't ready, of course). That night I called up my former boyfriend and asked if he could take me back and that I was sorry for everything. I even cried like hell because I felt like a total moron. Sadly, he told me I would have never done that to him if I had really loved (in my case) him as I had said. I regret it all, now. It's been months since that has happened and I'm still not over it. It really hurts to lose someone you really care about, especially when it's your fault. I just want to say... don't take her stupid jokes. Talk to her, and if you really feel like she doesn't like you just end it right there and forget about her. She will realize what she lost, espcially if you gave it all to her.
Something I would like to add, though, is... I did go out with the crush guy and he ended up being a total stupid loser. He lied to me and everything, and all he wanted was sex. Mwahahaha he will NEVER score, that dumb@$$.
Anyhoo, just think about what I said. When it all comes down to it, girls are just a bunch of stupid b**ches sometimes. Good luck!

[RepTylE]

I'd say that you should move on, hard as that concept may be at this point. The best revenge is for her to see you happy with someone else. She wants you to pine away for her but if you pick yourself up and get out there, you win in more ways than one

[sapphire_moon]

ok i'm skipping over replies so just ignore me if it's already been said! lol......

No matter the age 17 or 71 it is still hard as hell. You said you can hear her talking on the phone? Does she live with you and your fmaily? If so kick her out, it will do nothing but hurt you more the longer she stays there.

If she has no where else to go, then make her find a place, as cruel as that sounds. Not everyone can be friends after being together.

If she is "seeing (Dating)" this other person while she was still with you, then it is cheating. But some people define cheating in different ways....

You basicly said that now that she's gone you "have no life" that is just as hard, it's even harder when her friends are your friends and now that she's gone they don't want anything to do with you (personal experience, if thats not your case then great!) go out and find new friends, your 17, go on a weekend away with some friends...or find someone else.....

No one can really say you can't be serious at a young age..........

I was engaged when 16, but she cheated, repeatedly, and was physicaly and mentaly abusive....so I broke up with her, and kicked her out of my home (with my family).....at the time of break up I was 17.

I met a wonderful woman online while with my ex......she flew out from Mass to meet me......and we have been together now for almost 2 years (this December!) and plan on getting married (When and IF it's ever legalized)
For almost a year afterwords my ex tormented us stalked us, phoned at all times of the day and night.....

Don't discredit seriousness at a young age....



Just my 2 cents........

[J-Man]

Rachel, you sound like a very nice girl. See the worst thing about this situation is she doesn't seem to care about how upset I am. She used to care about stuff like this (the "oh I could never hurt you, I love you sooo much") But, as much as it hurts, it seems that she just felt that way cause she didn't ahve anybody else. Now she's always chatting on the internet, talking to him, etc... It's so obvious she doesn't care also... I mean she'll be sitting on the computer talking to him and I'll be sitting in the same room with tears in my mother ****ing eye and she would just sit there takling and giggling. Not one word of a lie. And this is literally about 1/20th of the problem. Thanks for the reply and good luck to you.

I'm sure it hurts to lose somebody you care about... but you seem to be honestly SORRY and that's what matters I think. I don't think you should have to still be getting over it.

[J-Man]

Thanks sapphire... that does give me some confidence. Yes she's living with me and my family. We took her in because her parents didn't treat her well (don't worry, not physically). That also hurts, that we did that for her and now she's stabbing us (me) in the back. I'm very happy for you and your current love. I'm also very happy that you're over it... assuming you are. Thanks again everybody.

[Corey Woods]

Jeremy,

Kick her out..........it sounds like she's overstaying her welcome.

Corey

[J-Man]

I know Corey, I hate being a nice person.