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Old 05-05-04, 03:18 PM   #1
wolf_010
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mother's wisdom

have you ever noticed moms have there own wisdom.
in her own words here are some of my moms words of widom...

1) all girls like bad boys
but its the good ones you marry

2)friendship isnt measured by how much you see one another
but how much $hit u put up with
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Old 05-05-04, 03:19 PM   #2
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anyone have more?
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Old 05-06-04, 02:23 PM   #3
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A friend will bail you out of jail....
A true friend will be in jail with you saying "damn that was fun!!"
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Old 05-06-04, 03:57 PM   #4
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A friend will help you move...
A true friend will help you move bodies
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Old 05-06-04, 08:15 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally posted by Yness
A friend will help you move...
A true friend will help you move bodies
a friend of mine has a herse.
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Old 05-07-04, 10:16 PM   #6
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Along the same lines, though it's not mine....
My Friend...

When you are sad, ... I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the sorry ******* who made you sad.

When you are blue, ... I'll try to dislodge whatever it is that is choking you.

When you smile, ... I'll know you FINALLY got laid.

When you are scared, ... I will rag you about it every chance I get.

When you are worried, ... I will tell you awful stories about how much worse it could be and tell you to quit whinging.

When you are confused, ... I will use small words to explain it to your dumb ***.

When you are sick, ... stay the hell away from me until you're well again. I don't want whatever you have.

When you are heaving, ... I will hold your hair while you pay homage to the porcelain god.

When you fall, ... I will piss myself laughing at you.

This is my oath, ... I pledge it till the end.
Why, you may ask? Because you're my friend!
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Old 05-19-04, 05:11 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally posted by Lisa
a friend of mine has a herse.
lisa what is a herse??
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Old 06-04-04, 01:58 PM   #8
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its a car for carrying the dead
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Old 06-13-04, 12:05 PM   #9
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Words of wisdom us Mother's should inform our sons about before they go on their own...then they have a chance at being properly prepared for us women.

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your hockey game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means "something," and you should be on your toes."Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with"Fine"

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man."That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

GO AHEAD.
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty
big trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the
chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing".
>(
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Last edited by Depatie****; 06-13-04 at 12:12 PM..
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