Good news and bad news!

[JimmyDavid]

Doctor to the patient:
Doc: I have good and bad news. The good news is that we searched around the accident spot and were able to find your lost finger. With a few stitches we might just put it back.
Pacient: What? i had lost a finger? i didn't even know that, i just woke up now. Thank god you found it! What are the bad news?
Doc: we still haven't found your liver, your left leg and one of your lungs...

a very poor african familly:
Dad(to his wife and 12 kids): I have some good and some bad news. The bad news is that all i was able to gather for our lunch was **** from animals.
Wife: what are the good news?
Dad: there's enough to go around.

[JimmyDavid]

Here's one more.
A guy has the terrible job of telling his best friend that his dad just died.
-Man, i don't know how to say this. You should sit down. I have some bad and some good news.
-shoot the bad ones first.
-Well, this is...bad. Your mother and your father died in a car crash. Also your sister and your cousin and even your grandpa... Dude, face it. Your all familly is dead.
-What?!OMG, are you telling me that my whole familly just died? What could be good news after that?...
-Hehehe, the good news are that i was just messing with you. Hehe, chill out, dude.Your whole familly did not die, just your old man, hehehe...