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Old 03-12-04, 12:30 AM   #1
crested12
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funniest man alive

To quote mitch hedburg........

I had an antfarm, them fellas didn't grow anything.

IF carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed up

I like re-fried beans, thats why i wanna try fried beans, b/c maybe theyre just as good but it's half the work.

I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

at the end of letters I like to write P.S. - this is what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were eliminated.

I type a 101 words a minute. But it's in my own language

One time a guy handed me a picture of himself, and he said, "Here's a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is of when you were younger. Here's a picture of me when I am older. How'd you pull that off? Let me see that camera

My roommate says, "I need to shave and use the shower. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird-*** quiz where he reveals the answer first

On a traffic light green means go and yellow means yield, but on a banana it's just the opposite. Green means hold on, yellow means go ahead, and red means where the **** did you get that banana at...

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

I love this guy.... _Ben Hoksch


Ive edited your post...stars in place of some letters to allow swear words to be seen is not acceptable. We block those words out for a reason. Please don't modify these again, Thanks Shane.
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Old 03-12-04, 12:53 AM   #2
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He's too funny.....
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Old 03-16-04, 06:41 PM   #3
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thats like the unfunnyiest thing ever
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Old 03-16-04, 07:34 PM   #4
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lmfao i gotta send this stuff to ma friends
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Old 03-16-04, 11:29 PM   #5
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I dunno he just can't compete with the likes of george carlin or robin williams. I admit he's got a bit of humour but he's not great.
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Old 03-16-04, 11:47 PM   #6
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I love that guy. I've seen him on a couple of comedy central specials. It sounds way better coming from him too. Where can I see more of his stuff?
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Old 03-17-04, 01:17 PM   #7
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HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
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Old 03-17-04, 03:31 PM   #8
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Hey i think he's hilarious, but thats just me, he just released a new dvd/cd entitled "mitch all together". its only like 17 bucks. Otherwise just download "the whole cd" off of kazza or grokster and you will get about 60 min of those jokes. I personally like the last joke on that cd.
Have ya ever been to a resturant on the weekends when its really busy and they start callin names off of the waiting list? Dufrane party of 2.....Dufrane party of 2....... if nobody answers they say the name again Dufrane party of 2.....Dufrane party of 2....... If nobody answers that time they go right on to the next name. Bush party of three.......Whatever happened to the Dufranes? Who can eat at a time like this? People are missing....You people are Friggin selfish.... The Dufranes are locked up in the back of somebodys trunk right now....with duck tape over their mouths, and theyre hungary.....Thats a double whamy! Bush search party of three, you can eat when you find the dufranes!_Ben Hoksch

lol I cant get enough
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Old 03-17-04, 03:37 PM   #9
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"One time a guy handed me a picture of himself, and he said, "Here's a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is of when you were younger. Here's a picture of me when I am older. How'd you pull that off? Let me see that camera"

haha that cracked me up!
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Old 03-17-04, 05:08 PM   #10
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i think Brandon DiCamillo is the funniest man alive. watch any of the CKY's and youll see what i mean. heres one of his quotes: "Now if youre bad, people might get out of your way. But if you got $hit, aint nobody f**king with ya!"

sorry, havent heard of mitch hedburg so i couldnt tell ya what i think of him. he seems pretty funny thouh.
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