Need a smile? the ZARADOZIA awesome joke thread - Page 8

KORBIN5895 · 12-06-11, 10:37 AM

As most men will probably agree that is very true , about every man but himself!

Lankyrob · 12-06-11, 11:07 AM

NUMBER 13!!! Some of the best ones are handicapped

ZARADOZIA · 01-18-12, 07:39 AM

Smart Answers for Hard Exams:

STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM

Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
*his last battle

Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
*at the bottom of the page

Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?
* liquid

Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
* marriage

Q5. What is the main reason for failure?
*exams

Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?
*Lunch & dinner

Q7. What looks like half an apple?
*The other half

Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
*It will simply become wet

Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ?
*No problem, he sleeps at night.

Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
*You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..

Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ?
*Very large hands

Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
* No time at all, the wall is already built.

Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
*Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

Lankyrob · 01-18-12, 07:55 AM

Thanks Zara - needed a laugh today and that gave it to me!!

ding ding · 01-18-12, 08:02 AM

exam questions are too funny, its amazing how creative some folk can get when they dont know the answer to something lol...

Swany · 01-18-12, 08:23 AM

Zara I liked that :-) Cheers

alessia55 · 01-18-12, 08:51 AM

haha those were really clever

Swany · 01-18-12, 01:30 PM

More true than funny lol

IMG_0194.jpg

IMG_0195.jpg

Swany · 01-18-12, 05:50 PM

Zara one of the posts here is a male/female thing. Here's mine:-
Male/Female Definitions
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female...... Any part under a car's hood. Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male.... Playing football without a cup.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n. Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family. Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n. Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book. Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n. Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion. Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.
7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n. Female.... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve. Male.... Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n. Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another. Male.... A device for scanning through all 999 channels every 5 minutes.

CK SandBoas · 01-18-12, 05:52 PM

That is awesome, Swany!

ZARADOZIA · 01-19-12, 03:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Swany

Zara one of the posts here is a male/female thing. Here's mine:-
Male/Female Definitions
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female...... Any part under a car's hood. Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male.... Playing football without a cup.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n. Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family. Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n. Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book. Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n. Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion. Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.
7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n. Female.... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve. Male.... Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n. Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another. Male.... A device for scanning through all 999 channels every 5 minutes.

LOL Perfect!

Brazen17 · 01-19-12, 07:00 PM

I'll take your challenge and here are 10: Women are like...

1)...the stock market
They're irrational and can bankrupt you if you're not careful.

2)...computers
They take too long to warm up and a better model always comes along once you've already got one.

3)...Saran Wrap
Useful but clingy.

4)...horses
Fun to pet and ride but a pain to feed and clean up after.

5)...parking meters
If you don't feed them with enough money you face serious consequences.

6)...fax machines
Useful for one very specific purpose but otherwise just high-maintenance paperweights.

7)...political campaign contributors
If you let them talk about themselves long enough you wind up in bed with them.

8)...refrigerators
They're always cold and never seem to have a beer when you need one.

9)...blue jeans
They look good for a while but eventually they fade and have to be replaced.

10)...country western songs
They're annoying, they all sound alike, but if you really listen to them you'll get depressed and drink a lot.

KORBIN5895 · 01-19-12, 07:45 PM

......... wow. I think he wins.

RandyRhoads · 01-19-12, 11:37 PM

Where did you find the first ones? I laughed so freakin hard when I first read these...My paramedic instructor has those printed out hanging up in class.

Kayla90 · 01-22-12, 11:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZARADOZIA

Smart Answers for Hard Exams:

STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM

Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
*his last battle

Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
*at the bottom of the page

Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?
* liquid

Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
* marriage

Q5. What is the main reason for failure?
*exams

Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?
*Lunch & dinner

Q7. What looks like half an apple?
*The other half

Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
*It will simply become wet

Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ?
*No problem, he sleeps at night.

Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
*You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..

Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ?
*Very large hands

Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
* No time at all, the wall is already built.

Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
*Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

Bahahah that's hilarious

I've never actually been too this thread before XD I don't know why?