How to deal with disapproving family?

[EmbraceCalamity]

Tell her to suck it. You're an adult. It's your place, your money, your choices, and your passion. She has no room to bitch about anything in your house. And if she really hates it that much, then she doesn't have to be there. You can visit other places. She can get a hotel room, and you can do things outside of your house.

Frankly, I wouldn't be half as nice to her as you are. I'd tell her to get the hell out of the house and not bother coming back until she can accept who you are. Gotta stand up for yourself sometimes.

~Maggot

[dinosaurdammit]

Originally Posted by EmbraceCalamity

Tell her to suck it. You're an adult. It's your place, your money, your choices, and your passion. She has no room to bitch about anything in your house. And if she really hates it that much, then she doesn't have to be there. You can visit other places. She can get a hotel room, and you can do things outside of your house.

Frankly, I wouldn't be half as nice to her as you are. I'd tell her to get the hell out of the house and not bother coming back until she can accept who you are. Gotta stand up for yourself sometimes.

~Maggot

See and the thing is i do want to stand up so badly but she throws the card out "Ive had a difficult life" and the "you are all I have left" card and it really just about "puts me in my place".

[EmbraceCalamity]

Originally Posted by dinosaurdammit

See and the thing is i do want to stand up so badly but she throws the card out "Ive had a difficult life" and the "you are all I have left" card and it really just about "puts me in my place".

Typical passive-aggressive self-victimization technique. My mom does that **** too, but I'm not as nice a person as you and stopped tolerating/falling for it. Unfortunately, there's no rationalising or compromising with people like that. But that's her problem, not yours.

~Maggot

[dinosaurdammit]

Originally Posted by EmbraceCalamity

Typical passive-aggressive self-victimization technique. My mom does that **** too, but I'm not as nice a person as you and stopped tolerating/falling for it. Unfortunately, there's no rationalising or compromising with people like that. But that's her problem, not yours.

~Maggot

Its just hard to deal with because she did raise me adn give me a chance when no one else would. I almost feel like I am indebted to her and add on to the fact I am her granddaughter who had a child that is her great grandchild and she wants to see her a lot, but the problem is that she isnt ever happy to see me just my kid, which I sort of get but I dont feel like she much cares for me anymore. Add that with my pets and she makes it downright unpleasant

[EmbraceCalamity]

Originally Posted by dinosaurdammit

Its just hard to deal with because she did raise me adn give me a chance when no one else would. I almost feel like I am indebted to her and add on to the fact I am her granddaughter who had a child that is her great grandchild and she wants to see her a lot, but the problem is that she isnt ever happy to see me just my kid, which I sort of get but I dont feel like she much cares for me anymore. Add that with my pets and she makes it downright unpleasant

You can be appreciative of that without being a victim to her.

Originally Posted by Jay

Nice to see somone with morals. Maggot, believe it or not some people still respect their elders.

Can you go to her house to visit?

Eh. I don't personally believe that age gives one a free pass to treat people like crap or get respect when they don't deserve it. My morals are different than yours; doesn't mean I don't have them.

~Maggot

[Jay]

Originally Posted by EmbraceCalamity

You can be appreciative of that without being a victim to her.Eh. I don't personally believe that age gives one a free pass to treat people like crap or get respect when they don't deserve it. My morals are different than yours; doesn't mean I don't have them.

~Maggot

Nice way to put it.