Strenght of character or kindness?

[Niten]

Hi everybody, I'm moving my first steps with my first Boa And first snake, we can't say the same for her for obvious reasons. :P
I wonder how I should interact with her, do I have to... make her (gently) understand who's the boss or should I just go along with her wishes?
When I lift her I have the impression that if I hesitate she goes on alert, I think they can smell fear from very far.....