down on my luck

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I have been keeping herps for 9 years and today is the first time I have ever asked myself why. Today I woke up to find my U. Lineatus ( the olny male i had) dead. 2 of my 7 pictus babies have also died , within the last week. Im not no newbie with wrong incubation temps, It just seems like their is a force out their that doesnt want me to see me succeed. I have 4 uroplatus lineatus females, and no male to offer to them. I know im rambling on, It just seems like someone is kicking me while im down.
I feel like Im locked in a small cage and everyone is laughing at me. Sorry for rambling, One of my huge projects just got demolished and i need to vent.
Our hobby, herpotoligy(sp) can be the most rewarding hobby anyone can have, Im just SO frustrated and you guys are the olny people I know I can vent to. I just feel so helpless, I want to screem, but their is no use.
I have invested sooooooo much money and time to my uroplatus project it just makes me feel like a failure.
I am soooo mad, but i have been to this point and I just need to keep on truckin' lol/ I geuss All i can do is just keep on keepin on. I cant give u
Srp this hobby, I know lots of you out their know my frustration.
Sorry I just needed to vent and the people on this site are the olny ones I can vent to.