Good news and bad news!

[JimmyDavid]

Doctor to the patient:
Doc: I have good and bad news. The good news is that we searched around the accident spot and were able to find your lost finger. With a few stitches we might just put it back.
Pacient: What? i had lost a finger? i didn't even know that, i just woke up now. Thank god you found it! What are the bad news?
Doc: we still haven't found your liver, your left leg and one of your lungs...

a very poor african familly:
Dad(to his wife and 12 kids): I have some good and some bad news. The bad news is that all i was able to gather for our lunch was **** from animals.
Wife: what are the good news?
Dad: there's enough to go around.