Pollitcally Correct Version 2004

[ChristinaM]

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: (new 2004 version)



1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

2. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

3. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

4. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

5. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

6. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

9. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.>

10.She is not a **** - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

11.She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

12. She is not a TWO-BIT ***** - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE
FACILITY.

2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS.

4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS

6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN! DRUNK -He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

7. He does not act like a TOTAL *** - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL
INVERSION.

8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.

9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED

10. He is not HORNY - He is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

11. It's not his crack you see hanging out of his pants....It is MALE
CLEAVAGE