|
How To Shop At Wal-Mart
15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/shopping partner is
taking their sweet time:
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts
when the aren't looking
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest
rooms
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
'Code 3' in housewares......and see what happens
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers
you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding
department
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick
your nose
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if
he knows where the anti-depressants are
11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the
theme from "Mission Impossible"
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using
different size funnels
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say
"PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the
fetal position and scream
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
And last but not least:
15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then
yell loudly "There is no toilet paper in here"
|
Threaded Mode