For fun only :

[Darlene]

Weight Loss Program :

A guy was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs. due to very serious health risks. As he wondered how in the heck
he would ever do it, he saw an ad in the newspaper for a
Guaranteed Weight Loss Program... "Guaranteed? Yeah
right!" he thought to himself. But desperate, he calls them
up and subscribes to the 3-day/10 pound weight loss
program. The next day there's a knock at his door, and
when he answers, there stands before him a voluptuous,
athletic, 19-year-old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of
Nike running shoes and a sign round her neck. She
introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss
company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can
have me." Without a second thought he takes off after her.
A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her
and has his way with her. After they are through and she
leaves, he thinks to himself, "I like the way this company
does business!" The same girl shows up for the next two
days and the same thing happens. On the fourth day, he
weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lb. as
promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound
program. The next day there's a knock at the door and
there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he
has ever seen in his life, wearing nothing but Reebok
running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If
you catch me, you can have me." He's out the door after
her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and it takes
him a while to catch her, but when he does, it is worth
every cramp and wheeze. For the next four days, the
same routine happens and much to his delight, on the fifth
day he weighs himself and found he has lost another 20
lbs. as promised.
He decides to go for broke and calls the company to
order the 7-day/50 pound program. "Are you sure?", asks
the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous
program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good
in years." The next day there's a knock at the door and
when he opens it he finds Richard Simmons standing there
wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around
his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you're mine!