sad news

[HetForHuman]

It is with the saddest heart that we must pass on
> > > > > the following news. Please join us in remembering
> > > > > a great icon of the entertainment community.
> > > > >
> > > > > The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast
> > > > > infection and complications from repeated pokes
> > > > > in the belly. He was 71.
> > > > >
> > > > > Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.
> > > > > Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their
> > > > > respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack,
> > > > > the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess
> > > > > Twinkies, and Cap'n Crunch.
> > > > >
> > > > > The graveside was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima
> > > > > delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy
> > > > > as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.
> > > > >
> > > > > Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later
> > > > > life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a
> > > > > very 'smart' cookie, wasting much of his dough on
> > > > > half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky in
> > > > > his youth and a crusty old man, he was considered
> > > > > a roll model for millions.
> > > > >
> > > > > Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two
> > > > > children, John Dough and Jane Dough; plus the bun
> > > > > they had in the oven.
> > > > >
> > > > > He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.
> > > > >
> > > > > The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

LMAO