Lil bored.

[Kayla90]

Originally Posted by ZARADOZIA

Marriage is scary, Especially when your family isn’t on board and giving you healthy positive advice.

My husband and I are each other’s 2nd marriage. When I was ready to get married I asked my husband to marry me, but he wasn’t ready so he said, “Yes, but not right now.” Four years later he was ready but I wasn’t and when he asked me I said, “Yes, but not right now.” We had been together 7 years at this point.

On our 10th year, July 2009 I had a meltdown and left. We had zero contact for 6-7 months and then out of the blue in Feb 2010, he emails me asking how I am doing. We started talking, then started talking about all the things we broke in our relationship. We both agreed we could not fix it, too much damage was done, but we could start over. And that is exactly what we did. We started dating, and talking, the whole nine yards.

I kept a separate residence until July 2010 and we only saw each other on the weekends because I lived 2 hours away from him. Then, March 2011, on our 12th anniversary, we were finally both ready to get married. Somehow we survived all the bad stuff and it made us better. I am more verbal now days and when he does something to make me mad, I tell him instead of letting it simmer. He is more considerate and not as selfish. We both spend as much time with each other as we can but both give the other their own space to do their own thing.

Now that's a relationship worth having! The most key part in ANYTHING is communication and there are so very few people open to talking about the things that gone on inside their heads. I know one of our problems is communication. Well was. We definitely don't understand each other, both our minds are so different from each others, we see things so opposite and understand things so differently. We talk a lot more but there is still such a huge gap in understanding between us. We spend the majority of our time fighting and while we never go to sleep angry at each other, and ever fight makes one smaller thing clear to either of us, it's still really a waste of time. It'd be nicer if we could spend more of our time getting along.