Stella awards

[Jamie]

Well I just recieved this in my e-mail and thought it was hilarious (no offence to americans)

Only in America.....


Simply unbelievable...

It's once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella
Awards.
The Stellas are named after 81 year old Stella Liebeck who spilled

coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case
inspired
the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful Lawsuits in
the United States.

Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit implicating McDonald's, the
teens
who allege that eating at McDonald's has made them fat, was Filed
after
the 2002 award voting was closed. This suit will top the 2003
awards list without question.

THIS YEAR'S AWARDS GO TO:

5th place (Tied).

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury

Of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who
was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were

understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the
misbehaving toddler was Ms. Robertson's Son.

5th place (Tied).

19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical
expenses
when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr.
Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of

the car
when
he was trying to steal the hubcaps.

5th place (Tied).

Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a house he
had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to

get
the
garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was
malfunctioning.
He could not re-enter the house because the door connecting the
house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on
vacation
and
Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for 8 days. He
subsisted
on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He
sued
the
homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue
mental anguish. The Jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

4th place.

Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and
medical
expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door
neighbor's
Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard.
The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might

have
been
a little provoked at the time as Mr. Williams, who had climbed
over
the
fence into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd place.

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of
Lancaster,
Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke
her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because
Ms.Carson
had
thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier, during an argument.

2nd place.

Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a Night Club
in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to
the floor
and
knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms.
Walton
was
trying to sneak out of the window in the Ladies Room to avoid
paying
the
$3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place.

This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of OklahomaCity,

Oklahoma.

Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motor Home. On his
trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the
Freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the
drivers seat to go
into
the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly the RV
left
the Freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago
for not advising him in the owner's manual that he could not
actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new
Winnebago Motor
Home.
The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this
suit just in case there were any other complete morons buying
their recreation vehicles.