marriage....

[beth wallbank]

Marriage Part 1
> >>
> >> Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the
> wedding,
> >> he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want
> >> and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from
> >> you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that
I
> >> won't be
> >> home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing
when
> I
> >> want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it.
> Those
> >> are my rules.
> >> Any comments?"
> >>
> >> His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that
there
> >> will be sex here at seven o'clock every night . . .
> >> whether you're here or not."
> >>
> >>
> >> DAMN SHE'S GOOD!
> >>
> >> Marriage (Part II)
> >> Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding
> >> anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a
> headstone
> >> that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.'" "Yeah?" she replies.
> >> "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads,
> >> "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"
> >>
> >> HE ASKED FOR IT!
> >>
> >> Marriage (Part III)
> >>
> >> Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast
> table.
> >> Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed
either,"
> >> and storms out of the house. After sometime he realizes he was nasty
and
> >> decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after
> many
> >> rings and the irritated husband says, "What took you
> >> so long to answer the phone?"
> >> She says, "I was in bed."
> >> "In bed this early, doing what?"
> >> "Getting a second opinion!"
> >>
> >> YUP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!
> >>
> >>
> >> Marriage (Part IV)
> >> A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so
> >proud
> >> of himself, that he starts calling his wife,"Mother of Six
> >> "in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man
> >decides
> >> that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to
> >> leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home
> >Mother
> >> of six?'" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion
> >> shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
> >>
> >>
> >> RIGHT ON, LADY!
> >>
> >>
> >>