Christmas Story

[Lisa]

Christmas Story

"Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.

Miserable litttle brats, ungrateful litttle jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works !

I've busted my *** for damn near a year.
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?

And the kids these days--they all are the pits
They want the impossible--Those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of you yo yo's--No request for them! ,
They want computers and robots..they think--I'm IBM !

Flying throught the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimney's and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I"ll sit on my fat *** and draw unemployment.

There's no Christmas this year, now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde.
I'm going SOUTH for the season!