loved ones fear

DeesBalls · 06-13-14, 10:54 AM

Long story short. .. my wife and I are separating again and I was wondering... do any of you out there have a loved one that lives with you whom are petrified of snakes? If so how do you cope?

SSSSnakes · 06-13-14, 11:02 AM

My wife was terrified of snakes, but allowed me to continue working with them. She knew it was my passion and did not want to take that away from me. I kept them away from her in my snake room. She learned to like them through my educational shows and even became a handler. She hates my venomous, but she knows they are my passion and she trust me with them. Because we love each other, we accept what makes the other happy, even if it is not what we like.

virtuousvixen · 06-13-14, 11:26 AM

My husband isn't really a big fan. He appreciates them in his own way and is fascinated about my king snake when he eats and moves around. When we first got him, it took about a week or two of him getting up constantly in the night to check that he hadn't escaped.

We have had him almost a year and even now he will not hold him or go anywhere near him if i have him out. If i am cleaning him out and have him in his tub, he'll sit across the other side of the room.

I really want another, but as we are in a small place hubby has said a big no. But has promised that when we hopefully move next year i can get another one (or maybe two)

Whats weird is that although he doesn't like them much, if he thinks he needs more water or a vine has fallen down, so long as he isn't roaming around his viv he will go into the viv and sort it out bless him

**EL Ziggy** · 06-13-14, 12:11 PM

My girlfriend isn't a big fan of my 3, soon to be 4, snakes either but she knows it's one of my passions so she doesn't give me too much grief until it's time for a new addition or when I'm prepping their meals. She'll change their water if I'm travelling on business and she's even held them once or twice. I also do things I know she likes so it makes it a little bit easier on me. A few foot rubs, shoes, watching chick flicks, and jewelry go a long way towards keeping the peace.

sharthun · 06-13-14, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EL-Ziggy

My girlfriend isn't a big fan of my 3, soon to be 4, snakes either but she knows it's one of my passions so she doesn't give me too much grief until it's time for a new addition or when I'm prepping their meals. She'll change their water if I'm travelling on business and she's even held them once or twice. I also do things I know she likes so it makes it a little bit easier on me. A few foot rubs, shoes, watching chick flicks, and jewelry go a long way towards keeping the peace.

Wow, she held them? Way to go EZ! My wife won't touch mine or change water. But she knows as other's said, it's my passion and she let's me do my thing. Which, I can't complain.

Sylphie · 06-13-14, 12:27 PM

All of my household like snakes, but I for one am desperately afraid of spiders. I am totally, 100% sure that even if my loved ones will loved spiders and it would have been their passion I would not be able to live in a house with spiders, it would be for me a constant feeling of panic and extreme stress. I'm sure that if someone in a similar degree is afraid of snakes that even the greatest love does not make him feel a little bit comfortable with them in around...

Cmwells90 · 06-13-14, 12:40 PM

Honestly if it's a fear, as long as you have respect for that fear and don't strut them in front of this person, then they should be able to adjust. My best friend lived with me for 3 years, has a HUGE fear of snakes. I would have thought that eventually he would adjust, but he's always just hated seeing them, talking about them, etc. I would inform them before hand and let them make the choice of how involved they want to get. You can always have a seperate room or area for them, out of sight out of mind.

MCB · 06-13-14, 12:42 PM

My wife hated them, wished everyday could be 'whacking day' now though she handles all of them under 5ft

and has a sweet spot for our Hypo Burmese youngster.

OP, hope it works out ok for you.

smy_749 · 06-13-14, 01:01 PM

My wife hated them, now she only hates the feeder insects and the fact that my reptiles have a dedicated room. She knew what she was getting into before we married, no surprises = no excuses.

None505 · 06-13-14, 11:22 PM

My dad and brother are fine with snakes however my mom did not like them at first. After I had my Cornsnakes for a while she got use to them and I think she even held one of them. I just kept the snake cages in my bedroom and when I had the snakes out I would not force them on my mom and she was fine with that. My spiders and scorpions are a different story though. My brother is afraid of spiders and no one in my family wants to mess with any of the inverts. I keep them in my bedroom so no one has to think about them unless they go into the back of my room.

David VB · 06-14-14, 04:23 AM

MY GF is not fond of me having snakes and spiders either, but she allows it. They have to be in a separate room with locks on the cages tho. In the very beginning she held one of the baby ball pythons but she was a bit shakey and ever since i'm trying to get her a bit more involved but it doesn't work. Allthough she carried the boxes with snakes when i went to a school to educate the kids there and she even was telling those kids something about those snakes and spiders too. But there is one thing she really hates and that's crickets and roaches escaping

@Sylphie : it's a fear that has no reason to be there actually

I know people who were afraid of them too, as worse as you describe and now have huge collections of bird spiders. When dealing with them, you just have to respect them and the things they can do and then you'll learn to appreciate and love them, i'm sure of it

Jim Smith · 06-14-14, 06:51 AM

My daughter-in-law is terrified of snakes and spiders and afraid of just about every other live animal. This is so contrary to our lives and how we raised our children that I suspect it's going to restrict many of the gifts I would love to give their children as they grow up. I love to give learning gifts, like bug collections, fossils etc. and even gave one of our other grandsons a snake for his tenth birthday. That said, I respect her position and abide by her concerns regarding gift giving. I seriously doubt that she would every stay overnight in our house with the snakes in the house and wonder if she'll even come in the house (we usually visit them as we live about 3,000 miles from them now). Our son is fine with snakes as he and his siblings were raised around nature and I had them handle critters as kids (including snakes) as I explained about them. My wife is fine with the snakes and finds them fascinating. She cares for them if I'm on a business trip and is very comfortable handling them if I have them out of their enclosures.