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04-12-12, 06:02 PM
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#1
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Captain America
Join Date: Dec-2009
Location: Farmington IL.
Age: 55
Posts: 10,602
Country: 
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Funnest thing i read all week.
I came across this on another forum and thought i would share. Enjoy. 
AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2010-09-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with crap in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ..... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi,
Alex
__________________
Boas: 1.0 Pastel, 2.2 Brazilian Rainbows Pythons: 0.1 Lesser Royal, The Carpets 2.0 Jungle, 1.0 Jungle x Jag, 0.1 Tiger Jag, 0.1 Coastal Cheers Chuck
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04-12-12, 06:11 PM
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#2
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Member
Join Date: Mar-2012
Location: Hippieland
Age: 35
Posts: 2,321
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Re: Funnest thing i read all week.
I hope it's real!
__________________
Trollin'
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04-12-12, 06:22 PM
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#3
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Member
Join Date: Jun-2011
Location: Caledon
Posts: 1,438
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Re: Funnest thing i read all week.
That is awesome (real or not) 
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04-12-12, 06:30 PM
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#4
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Village Idiot
Join Date: Oct-2011
Age: 39
Posts: 7,360
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Re: Funnest thing i read all week.
Its not real. Funny though.
__________________
I used to be a nice guy but that don't get you anywhere. So now I'm just a piece of ****, idiot,
who's too stupid to care.
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04-12-12, 06:36 PM
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#5
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Member
Join Date: Apr-2012
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 1,494
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Re: Funnest thing i read all week.
Haha that's classic!!!!!
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04-12-12, 06:45 PM
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#6
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Moderator
Join Date: May-2008
Location: Central New York State
Age: 60
Posts: 16,536
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Re: Funnest thing i read all week.
gave me ideas......
__________________
"Where would we be without the agitators of the world attaching the electrodes
of knowledge to the nipples of ignorance?"
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04-12-12, 06:52 PM
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#7
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Captain America
Join Date: Dec-2009
Location: Farmington IL.
Age: 55
Posts: 10,602
Country:
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Re: Funnest thing i read all week.
Quote:
Originally Posted by infernalis
gave me ideas......
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Real or not this guy thinks like me. And yeah it gave me several ideas.
__________________
Boas: 1.0 Pastel, 2.2 Brazilian Rainbows Pythons: 0.1 Lesser Royal, The Carpets 2.0 Jungle, 1.0 Jungle x Jag, 0.1 Tiger Jag, 0.1 Coastal Cheers Chuck
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04-12-12, 09:08 PM
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#8
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Member of the family
Join Date: Sep-2011
Location: Ventura
Age: 43
Posts: 2,320
Country:
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Re: Funnest thing i read all week.
lol that would be awesome.
__________________
~Melissa~
27 snakes (7 sand boas, 4 hognose, 5 ball pythons, 1 bolivian boa, 2 dumeril's boas, 2 carpet pythons, 5 garters, 1 corn snake), 1 cave spider, 9 tarantulas, 1 tokay gecko, 2 dogs, 2 frogs, emperor scorpions 1,000 dubia roaches, & tons of fish.
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04-13-12, 04:49 AM
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#9
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Village Idiot
Join Date: Oct-2011
Age: 39
Posts: 7,360
Country:
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Re: Funnest thing i read all week.
What kind of mugger has a credit card that could pay for 200+ gallons of gas!!! That's almost 1000 dollars here!
__________________
I used to be a nice guy but that don't get you anywhere. So now I'm just a piece of ****, idiot,
who's too stupid to care.
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04-13-12, 09:06 PM
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#10
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Member of the family
Join Date: Sep-2011
Location: Ventura
Age: 43
Posts: 2,320
Country:
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Re: Funnest thing i read all week.
haha korbin! i caught that but decided this was probably just for entertainment value anyway
__________________
~Melissa~
27 snakes (7 sand boas, 4 hognose, 5 ball pythons, 1 bolivian boa, 2 dumeril's boas, 2 carpet pythons, 5 garters, 1 corn snake), 1 cave spider, 9 tarantulas, 1 tokay gecko, 2 dogs, 2 frogs, emperor scorpions 1,000 dubia roaches, & tons of fish.
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04-25-12, 02:20 PM
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#11
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Member
Join Date: Dec-2010
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 2,787
Country:
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Re: Funnest thing i read all week.
In a similiar vein....
"Orville Smith, a store manager for Best Buy in Augusta, Georgia, told police he observed a male customer, later identified as Tyrone Jackson of Augusta, on surveillance cameras putting a laptop computer under his jacket... When confronted the man became irate, knocked down an employee, drew a knife and ran for the door.
"Outside on the sidewalk were four Marines collecting toys for the "Toys for Tots" program. Smith said the Marines stopped the man, but he stabbed one of the Marines, Cpl. Phillip Duggan, in the back, the injury did not appear to be severe.
"After Police and an ambulance arrived at the scene Cpl. Duggan was transported for treatment. The subject was also transported to the local hospital with two broken arms, a broken ankle, a broken leg, several missing teeth, possible broken ribs, multiple contusions, assorted lacerations, a broken nose and a broken jaw...injuries he sustained when he slipped and fell off of the curb after stabbing the Marine."
;-)
__________________
Cliff Earle
Living Gems Reptiles
Premium Brazilian Rainbow Boas from a disease-tested facility
Website, Facebook
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04-25-12, 02:27 PM
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#12
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slainte mhath
Join Date: Nov-2009
Location: kelty,fife
Age: 58
Posts: 8,509
Country: 
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Re: Funnest thing i read all week.
i'd love those storys to be true folks
you just made my night chuck
cheers shaun
__________________
ALWAYS judge a person by the way they treat someone who can be of NO POSSIBLE USE TO THEM !
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04-25-12, 03:12 PM
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#13
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Morelia Enjoyus Maximus
Join Date: Oct-2011
Location: Kitchener
Age: 54
Posts: 4,615
Country:
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Re: Funnest thing i read all week.
Fakes or not they are good.
A guy I went to highschool with tried to rob a small store with a knife. The clerk jumped the counter , took the knife away and beat the crap out of him. Then called the cops. He got 2 yrs less a day in jail. Fool!!
__________________
0.1 BCI 1.1.2 Jungle Carpet Pythons 1.0 Jungle Jag 1.0 Goins King Snake 0.1 Leopard Gecko 0.1 Albino Gopher Snake 1.0 Pastel Ball Python
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06-19-12, 09:45 PM
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#14
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Boa Boy Roy
Join Date: Mar-2011
Location: Aniwa, Wisconsin
Age: 51
Posts: 2,138
Country:
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Re: Funnest thing i read all week.
These are great stories!
I tried to confirm / bust the Marine robbery story but found nothing in snopes.com.
__________________
"The question is do we allow the government to take our property rights away from us based on unfounded manipulations from a special interest group?" ~ Erika N. Chen-Walsh, President, U.S. Help Alliance
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06-19-12, 10:01 PM
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#15
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mamma bear
Join Date: Jul-2011
Location: Mission, BC
Age: 49
Posts: 2,688
Country:
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Re: Funnest thing i read all week.
this is great, you actually stopped hubby and I from arguing!!! so real or not, it served it`s purpose in my house!! LOL
__________________
RIP Poitash
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