Lil bored.

[millertime89]

Originally Posted by alessia55

My boyfriend and I want to get married, but we both want to do it when we can actually live together- which is not right now, because we both want to go to grad school in different states. But distance won't stop us from being together! We've been together for 2yrs11mos (3yrs in January!) and we're still madly in love and we both hope that never changes ♥ (awwwww )

I hate to be THAT person but...
2 good friends of mine were together for about 3.5 years when they graduated last spring. They had discussed getting married but, like you, wanted to put it off until they were both done with school. He was going to grad school to be an optometrist in Tennessee and she was moving back home to Chicago (about a 9 hour drive apart). Within 2 months of him moving there (they spent most of the summer here, together) he met someone else and they broke up. Long distance relationships CAN work but you have to be 100% dedicated to each other, and things like the above happen all too frequently when two people are so far apart regardless of how much they love each other. On the flip side my cousin and her now-husband first met here while he was living in Chicago and she in St. Louis and they started travelling to see each other and finally moved back here to be together. They are however both done with college and had stable jobs that allowed them to spend the time and money to make their fledgling relationship work.
I'm not saying it won't work, but it will be difficult, especially with both of you in school and "college broke". I wish you the best of luck, in spite of the odds.

Shaun, congrats on 23 years. My parents hit the big 3-0 this past May and they love each other more now then they did when they first got married.

[alessia55]

Originally Posted by millertime89

I hate to be THAT person but...
2 good friends of mine were together for about 3.5 years when they graduated last spring. They had discussed getting married but, like you, wanted to put it off until they were both done with school. He was going to grad school to be an optometrist in Tennessee and she was moving back home to Chicago (about a 9 hour drive apart). Within 2 months of him moving there (they spent most of the summer here, together) he met someone else and they broke up. Long distance relationships CAN work but you have to be 100% dedicated to each other, and things like the above happen all too frequently when two people are so far apart regardless of how much they love each other. On the flip side my cousin and her now-husband first met here while he was living in Chicago and she in St. Louis and they started travelling to see each other and finally moved back here to be together. They are however both done with college and had stable jobs that allowed them to spend the time and money to make their fledgling relationship work.
I'm not saying it won't work, but it will be difficult, especially with both of you in school and "college broke". I wish you the best of luck, in spite of the odds.

Phil graduated May 2010, and then found a job here in Philly to be close while I finished my time at college (I'll graduate this May 2012). We've both saved up enough money to visit each other during the time we'll be apart, and we're very committed to the relationship. We've been though hell together, and I don't think either of us could imagine not being with one another. We're used to doing some long-distance, since during the summer months (May-August) we usually only see each other in person once or twice, and 6 months of our relationship was long-distance at one point (without any physical visits). We have everything pretty planned out, and we're both hoping it'll work. (Secretly I'm hoping he'll at least give me an engagement ring when I graduate to make it all more official ) But yeah, I've heard those stories of people who split up after doing long-distance... but since we've been through quite a bit of it, we're not too afraid of it. We communicate really well, so that helps too. Here we see each other at least 4 out of the 7 days of the week (usually it's more like 6), and even with all that, we text and call and e-mail throughout the day to check in with each other. I know his parents well, he knows my parents well... Lets just keep our fingers crossed that I get my happy ending

[millertime89]

like I said, best of luck, maybe you guys can beat the odds.

[Kayla90]

Gosh. I am so envious. I've moved around all my life and never really thought that'd I'd be willing to settle down, (for the most part I still have trouble) but I'm just at that place where I want to settle down with someone, actually be with someone. Sigh. My sister always tells me that you'll find them when you stop looking.. but I don't want to stop looking cause what if I miss them... Not to mention I'm in this whatever you call it with Steph that will never go anywhere other than where we are. Sigh.

Honestly though, I'm only 21.. I've never really been in a serious relationship before, but apart of me, a big part of me, is ready to settle down in that part of my life.

[ZARADOZIA]

Originally Posted by Kayla90

Gosh. I am so envious. I've moved around all my life and never really thought that'd I'd be willing to settle down, (for the most part I still have trouble) but I'm just at that place where I want to settle down with someone, actually be with someone. Sigh. My sister always tells me that you'll find them when you stop looking.. but I don't want to stop looking cause what if I miss them... Not to mention I'm in this whatever you call it with Steph that will never go anywhere other than where we are. Sigh.

Honestly though, I'm only 21.. I've never really been in a serious relationship before, but apart of me, a big part of me, is ready to settle down in that part of my life.

Love is like a best friend. They go hand in hand and love, like a best friend is never found by looking for it. It just happens. It's not something you can find, but you can leave your heart open for it to happen.

I met my husband 6 months after I left my ex. I wasn't even divorced yet, still going through the courts. I wasn't looking for a boyfriend, hell, I didn't even want a boyfriend. I was fed up with men at the time. Michael had seen me many times before at the club we frequented but I had never seen him (I wasn't looking for male companionship).

One night my friend Brad introduced us. Brad and I hung out alot together, both going through a divorce and we enjoyed each other's company. Brad knew Michael from work, he was one of the instructors on base. Michael and I "clicked" and we spent a couple of days together before he shipped out over seas. He asked me if I would be his penpal, I agreed and we wrote each other for 6 months and I got a weekly call for 15 minutes...lol When I think about the details from the night we met it amazes me, so many little things had to happen to bring us together. There is a lot more to this story but I don't want to bore you with the details.

The strongest relationships are between people that compliment each other an most importantly, accept each other, faults and all, just as they are. You can't go into a relationship thinking you can change someone because you can't. So you have to decide if you can accept their faults as a part of them. It is possible to change for someone but the question is are the changes a good thing or not.

I was a very mean, selfish, spiteful woman when I was married the first time. My 1st husband was selfish, drunkard, and was more concerned with hanging out with the boys that his wife and newborn. Needless to say we were like oil and water. I have sincerely apologized to him for how I was and he has apologized to me for how he was, which is why we are such great friends now.

With Michael, I held everything in. I was the "perfect trophy wife." I changed everything about me, a complete 180, to be a better wife/girlfriend. I cooked his dinner, cut his steak in bite size pieces, served his plate where ever he was. I never complained or nagged about anything. I held everything in that pissed me off and it took 10 years for me to blow my top. That's when I had my meltdown in 2009.

In both instances I changed who I was and neither was good. Now I am just me. I am happier now. I voice my opinion, little things don't bother me, but I am not afraid to say when things do bother me. Yes, sometimes I nag and he has no choice but to listen because it's usually about his health. I am not perfect, I absolutely hate cleaning alone, I do my best cleaning when I am pissed or talking on the phone. My home gets a complete cleaning spree over haul once a week, but during the week I could care less. I do cook 5 nights a week.

I guess what I am trying to say is that you have to know yourself, who you are, what you need, what you can and cannot tolerate before you can find a life partner. You MUST be happy with who you are before you can be happy with anyone else. If there are things you don't like about yourself then change them but change them only for yourself, not for anyone else.

All my life there has always been someone that wanted me to change some aspect of who I am to better suit THEIR needs. It took me 32 years to learn that I will not change for anyone but myself. I changed all the things I didn't like about myself, I did it for me, to better myself. (My son is the only exception) I will not do it for someone else. I finally like who I am and I am happy with the kind of person I am. I finally found my balance, equal parts of stregnth and compassion, fighter and lover, I'm a survivor and for the hell, I have come out better for it.

[Lankyrob]

Until you love yourself, warts and all, then noone else can really fall in love with you because if you arent happy with yourself you will be putting on a show and not portraying the REAL you to the other person.

I met my wife the evening that i split from a 3yr relationship - i was most cetainly not looking for anyone, i just wanted to get pissed and forget that i had walked away from 3 yrs of my life.

My advice to anyone is to not look - just enjoy doing things that you enjoy and love will sneak up on you when you least expect it!!

[Gungirl]

I was looking for a man when I found my husband. I was a crazy one..lol. I was 2 yrs out of an 8 yr BAD relationship when I met my man. I had a myspace account at the time and was searching singles a state away. Travis didn't have any pictures of himself up but he had pictures of his guns, trucks and dogs. I sent him a message and he responded with in a few minutes. That night I drove from Massachusetts to Vermont only about 1hr. We went on our first date and have been together ever since. It was crazy scary but so much fun setting myself up on a blind date.

[Kayla90]

I guess one of my small problems is, I've never really had many guy friends.. And the few I did have just never really suited me in that way...