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Please Help The Players
Since September 11, 2001, Americans and Canadians have come together as
> never before in our generation. We have banded together to overcome
> tremendous adversity. We have weathered direct attacks on our own soil,
> wars overseas, corporate/government scandal, layoffs, unemployment, stock
> price plunges, droughts, fires, mad cow, SARS, high gasoline prices, and a
> myriad of economic and physical disasters both great and small. But now,
> we must come together once again to overcome our greatest challenge yet.
>
> Hundreds of Professional Hockey players in our very own nation are going
> to be locked out, living at well below the seven-figure salary level.
Darren
>
> And as if that weren't bad enough they could be deprived of their life
> giving pay for several months, possibly longer, as a result of the
> upcoming lockout situation. But you can help!
>
> For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that's less than the cost
> of a large screen projection TV) you can help an NHL player remain
> economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means
> solves the problem as it barely covers the annual minimum salary, but it's
> a start, and every little bit will help!
>
> Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a hockey player
> it could mean the difference between spending the lockout golfing in
> Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred dollars is
> nothing more than a month's rent, half a mortgage payment, or a month of
> medical insurance, but to a hockey player, $700 will partially replace his
> daily salary.
>
> Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable a player to buy that
> home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari,
> or enjoy a weekend in Rio.
>
> HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?
>
> Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player you
> sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real
> estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. Plus,
> upon signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo of
> the player lounging during the lockout on a beach somewhere in the
> Caribbean (for a signed photo, please include an additional $150). Put the
> photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples' suffering.
>
> HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?
>
> Your NHL player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants
> to help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name, he
> will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator in
> case additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.
>
> YES, I WANT TO HELP!
>
> I would like to sponsor a locked out NHL player. My preference is (check
> below):
>
> [ ] Forward [ ] Defenseman [ ] Goaltender [ ] Entire team (Please call our
> 900 number to ask for the cost of a specific team - $10 per minute)
>
> [ ] Jaromir Jagr (Higher cost: $32,000 per day)
>
> Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for the duration of
> the lockout. Please send me a picture of the player I have sponsored,
> along with an Jaromir Jagr 2001 Income Statement and my very own Bob
> Goodenow (Executive Director of the NHLPA player's Union) pin to wear
> proudly on my hat (include $80 for hat).
>
> Your Name: _______________________
>
> Telephone Number: _______________________
>
> Account Number: _______________________ Exp.ss [ ] Other
>
> Signature: _______________________
>
> Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):
>
> Account Number: _______________________ Exp.ss [ ] Other
>
> Signature: _______________________
>
>
__________________
"Consciousness: That annoying time between naps."
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