why women are allowed to be cranky...

Clownfishie · 10-23-03, 12:18 AM

WHY WOMEN ARE SO CRANKY

We start to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find anything that comes in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurts so bad it brings us to tears. Enter the almighty, uncomfortable training bra, the contraption the boys in school will snap until we have calluses on our backs.

Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we now bloat, we cramp, we get the hormone crankies, have to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.

Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) is having sex for the first time which is a! bout as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.

Then it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we don't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learn to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we're having Rosemary's Baby. Our once flat bellies now look like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee our pants every time we sneeze.

When the big moment arrives, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions will invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we'll waddle with! our big cartoon feet moaning in pain all the way to the ER. Then it's huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says,"Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more (or 10 ) good pushes," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the jerk (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10 lb. bowling ball through a keyhole.

After that, it's time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.

The teen years. Need I say more? The kids are almost grown now and we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our mid- 30's to early 40's while hubby had his somewhere around his 18 th birthday (whic! h just happens to be the reason all that early hot man sex got you pregnant in the first place).

Now we hit the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take the HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.

Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...

Now I love being a woman but "Womanhood" would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby.

Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me.

Cas · 10-23-03, 01:00 AM

Heh heh..... right on....

but, you forgot............ leg waxing/shaving.

Now, I personally don't think furry legs look good on us girls either, but whoever decided we should smear gooey paste on our legs and then rip it off just to remove the hair that god or evolution put there for presumably some good reason should be shot..... or maybe just full body waxed.

Dawn

Tim and Julie B · 10-23-03, 01:04 AM

I don't get it!

Tim

raebug2000 · 10-23-03, 01:06 AM

hear hear.
bravo and lots of clapping ( and laughing)

Clownfishie · 10-23-03, 08:49 AM

LOL Tim!!

Cas -- indeed! They did forget that one... I've never been brave enough to get my legs waxed -- I just stick with shaving... lol. Pain in the ***, but much less painful

marisa · 10-23-03, 09:00 AM

Yeah but doesn't this give men even more of an excuse to be even more cranky themselves for having to deal with creatures like that? LOL

Marisa

djc3674 · 10-23-03, 09:07 AM

I like Marisa's answer

J-Man · 10-23-03, 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by marisa
Yeah but doesn't this give men even more of an excuse to be even more cranky themselves for having to deal with creatures like that? LOL

Marisa

Good point!

Clown, I was withstanding it until "Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me." I mean up until then I could think "Ok, she's talking about how bad women have it, not how much better they are then men."

I know that you didn't write it but still.....

Fine I admit it, it was funny, ok?

Lisa · 10-23-03, 11:22 AM

Forgot epilating too. it's like waxing only it's long and drawn out as you do a smaller area. A man definetly came up with that one... Then there's electroshock therapy otherwise known as electrolisys and now we can be burnt to a crisp with lazer hair (and skin) removal (though I have heard lots of comercials trying to get men in to have the hair on their backs removed).