You Know You've Got a Keeper When...

Abraxxos · 07-20-13, 01:28 AM

So, as reptile keepers a lot of us have to work around and with the people in our lives about our reptiles. My mother is fine with coming over to my apartment and seeing my snakes (as long as they're not in her house). My sister, Nataku, keeps reptiles of her own and loves mine. My mother's girl friend? Well let's just say family dinners aren't held in my apartment.

Parents are one thing to deal with... It's another thing entirely when you get a significant other. I've heard a few people say things along the lines of, 'I'd love more, but my girlfriend has put her foot down at 5 herps' and variations of such.

I am proud to say I have successfully found who I think is an acceptable mate. My boyfriend, Don, and I have been in a relationship for 5 years but it's long distance as he is still in school up north. He has only came down to see me in person once and spent a week here and since I was still living in my parents house, in which he wasn't exactly the definition of 'welcome' he didn't get to see a lot of the snake he had bought me (I also only had a gecko and a milk snake at the time).

He is flying in on the 24th and staying here for another week and I thought since he bought and provided money for a lot of the animals and their related needs they are just as much his as they are mine. He'll be living with these one day and knowledge is never a bad thing so I decided that while he was down here I wanted to carry a few activities with them, including handling, cleaning, home treatments, feeding and what I think will be the most fun of all? Building decorations for the enclosures.

For a while I admit I was afraid he'd shy away but I was so happy so see him hugely excited about getting to work with the animals and learning about them and doing the group projects with me (I'll definitely post a lot of pictures, by the way). I can't wait to have him down here and I'm really happy he isn't going to make me sacrifice something I love for another thing I love.

The last thing he said in the conversation was "If it's done with you, I look forwards to doing anything with you except for jumping out of a perfectly good airplane" I tried getting him to go skydiving with me last time... No luck. So I responded with "Well what if there are snakes on the plane? 'I have had it with these mother****ing snakes on this mother****ing plane!'" and he responded "Why would anything be wrong with the plane? If I catch the snakes not only have we solved the problem, I've got new snakes to give you"
Quality answer right there.

So who do you guys deal with and your herps? Anybody that completes avoids coming over? Do you ever lie about how many herps you have to make your house not sound as scary? (IE 'Oh, I've only got like... 2 snakes and a cute little gecko' In reality you have 12 snakes 3 of which bite a lot a tarantula and that gecko you're talking about? It's a tokay of all kinds') If you have one, is your boyfriend or girlfriend okay with your animals or do they put a limit on it? Were they chill with them when they met you? Did you have to ease them into the hobby? Are they still not exactly the definition of okay with them? How many boyfriends/girlfriends/general friends have you lost upon mentioning your keeping of reptiles? Did you wait a wait for the relationship to be a little solidified before you mentioned it or did you drop the bomb on the first date? Or are you the guy who neglects human socialization in order to spend as much time as possible with your herps and doesn't worry about other humans?

Thought it'd be an interesting topic to talk about considering I figure this is something that every keeper whether it's dogs, exotic birds or herps has to deal with.

ra94131 · 07-20-13, 02:25 AM

My wife took some time to warm up to the idea of keeping snakes, but loves them now. She's not completely comfortable dealing with them without me around, but has come a long way. If I get impulsive about buying another animal she'll slow me down, but if I've put thought into it she's normally on board. (And every time we go to the NARBC show she seems to come away wanting a new animal...)

As far as others go, I don't overly advertise my animals but anybody who knows me is well aware that I have a couple snakes in my office and a tortoise in the backyard. It's nice having the snakes in the office because it is set well away from most of the living areas so friends/family that are nervous around snakes don't have to see them unless they want to. (I tend to think the relatively secluded location is best for the snakes, too.)

Abraxxos · 07-20-13, 02:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ra94131

It's nice having the snakes in the office because it is set well away from most of the living areas so friends/family that are nervous around snakes don't have to see them unless they want to. (I tend to think the relatively secluded location is best for the snakes, too.)

I really wish I had a house. I'm in a 1 bed 1 bath 750 sq ft apartment. The only rooms without enclosures: my closet, my bathroom, my kitchen. Thankfully I don't have guests over often except for my sister.

Lickeypie · 07-22-13, 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ra94131

My wife took some time to warm up to the idea of keeping snakes, but loves them now. She's not completely comfortable dealing with them without me around, but has come a long way. If I get impulsive about buying another animal she'll slow me down, but if I've put thought into it she's normally on board. (And every time we go to the NARBC show she seems to come away wanting a new animal...)

That is exactly how my boyfriend is. I think he is so accepting when I do my research because I am the same way with him.. he collects knives, so when he's done his research, I won't give him a hard time about a new purchase. But if I do impulse buy, he usually falls in love once he meets them. (I brought home a kitten last week, and over the phone he was talking me out of it, but one he met Moose, he was in love).

Mikoh4792 · 07-22-13, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lickeypie

That is exactly how my boyfriend is. I think he is so accepting when I do my research because I am the same way with him.. he collects knives, so when he's done his research, I won't give him a hard time about a new purchase. But if I do impulse buy, he usually falls in love once he meets them. (I brought home a kitten last week, and over the phone he was talking me out of it, but one he met Moose, he was in love).

What kind of knives? I collect knives as well.

bcr229 · 07-22-13, 10:32 AM

Let's see... fiance #1 got ditched because he wanted me to sell my horse before the wedding. I had the horse long before I met him.

As for the hubby, as long as there are no issues with finances or available space, there is no fussing about purchases of critters or firearms.

RandyRhoads · 07-22-13, 08:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikoh4792

What kind of knives? I collect knives as well.

What kind do you collect...

Skits · 07-29-13, 03:37 PM

My boyfriend never seemed to be too interested in reptiles when I first started hanging out with him. Over the past couple of months he's become way more interested in helping me take care of them, asking me questions about some species, and helping me build enclosures. He says as long as they don't smell up the house, and cost an arm and a leg of electricity, I could get a couple of more. Today we went to the petstore to handle a baby skink to get an idea of how they are, as I just got one and she is too nervous to let me handle her right now..my boyfriend was amazed by the babies, and even held a uromastyx, and we spoke about one day owning one.

Mikoh4792 · 07-29-13, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RandyRhoads

What kind do you collect...

mostly functional survival/bush crafting/hunting knives. I don't really collect fancy antiques or art pieces.

infernalis · 07-20-13, 06:11 AM

My woman started this whole mess... It's her fault!

I never looked twice at monitor lizards until her.

Keeper +1

**EL Ziggy** · 07-20-13, 09:03 AM

My gf isn't really an animal lover in general but she's warming up to my cat and 2 snakes. She'll feed the cat and change the litter box sometimes, and she changes the snakes' water when I'm away on business. She even held both snakes for a whopping total of about 1 minute each last night. I know it doesn't sound like much but it's progress for her. We have agreed that I won't buy anymore snakes until we move into a house next year and I can live with that (for now).

**Aaron_S** · 07-20-13, 10:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EL-Ziggy

My gf isn't really an animal lover in general but she's warming up to my cat and 2 snakes. She'll feed the cat and change the litter box sometimes, and she changes the snakes' water when I'm away on business. She even held both snakes for a whopping total of about 1 minute each last night. I know it doesn't sound like much but it's progress for her. We have agreed that I won't buy anymore snakes until we move into a house next year and I can live with that (for now).

This isn't directed at you but I'm going to use your quote.

I don't understand this mentality. The "for now" part mostly. I would believe that any significant other who goes against their wishes of none to allow some should not have their limits pushed. It's the definition of a compromise. Each person gives something up.

Abraxxos · 07-20-13, 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aaron_S

This isn't directed at you but I'm going to use your quote.

I don't understand this mentality. The "for now" part mostly. I would believe that any significant other who goes against their wishes of none to allow some should not have their limits pushed. It's the definition of a compromise. Each person gives something up.

I think it's because they assume something will change. My boyfriend has limited me to 14 animals while I'm living in the apartment because space is limited.

My space is limited... for now. I assume in less than a year when my lease for my apartment is up, we will move into an actual house where I will have a lot more space and then he'll be fine with more animals. So I at least know why I would ever say it. I know not everyone thinks this way, but perhaps that gives a bit of insight.

Quote:

Originally Posted by infernalis

My woman started this whole mess... It's her fault!

I never looked twice at monitor lizards until her.

Keeper +1

Ahaaaa, so you were the boyfriend who was brought into the lifestyle. Very interesting

infernalis · 07-20-13, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Abraxxos

Ahaaaa, so you were the boyfriend who was brought into the lifestyle. Very interesting

I was being sneaky, I wanted another snake, she said NO.... I knew she used to have a monitor, so when I ordered the snake, I got the lizard to distract her.

well, Chomper wound up distracting ME

**EL Ziggy** · 07-20-13, 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aaron_S

This isn't directed at you but I'm going to use your quote.

I don't understand this mentality. The "for now" part mostly. I would believe that any significant other who goes against their wishes of none to allow some should not have their limits pushed. It's the definition of a compromise. Each person gives something up.

@ Aaron--I know it wasn't directed at me per se, but I thought I'd respond to your comment. I'm all for compromise when necessary, and I strongly believe in honoring one's commitments. However, there are few absolutes in life and relationships, and every situation is different. In my example, I've bought (2) snakes this year and agreed with my girlfriend to delay any future additions to my collection until we move next year. However, I know me, she knows me, and I know her. When I want something bad enough, it's hard to talk me out of it and nobody really tells me what to do anyway. Of course I wouldn't jeopardize my relationship over a snake purchase, but then again I KNOW a snake purchase wouldn't jeopardize my relationship. It would make her a little 'hissy' for a few days just like when I bought the second snake but I can live with that : ) I do try to pick my battles wisely though. This was one of those 'soft' agreements and I'll 'most likely' stick to it since I want more space to house any new critters anyway. I would have to come across an 'irresistible' offer to alter that plan but trust me, a little wining, dining and a new pair of shoes or earrings, and I'm back in her good graces. It really is give and take just like you said : )