nothin like good ol' fashion sarcasm!
anyways, both vermiculite and perlite are good for incubation. Other substrates tend to mold once they are exposed to high humidity. Thus causing the eggs to mold, and crumble..
Find out what medium suits the species you are incubating best.. Do a search on yahoo. I really don't recommend using anything but the two substances i mentioned about.
I don't lay eggs either