How do you stay motivated?

[Kiljosh]

So the past 2 weeks I have been feeling very un-motivated. This is a vent/rant. Iif you don't want to read it just leave now. This board is full of good souls so I feel pretty good about asking you guys what your thoughts are.

I can't really explain it, I'm not depressed, and I know what I want to do for a living but I just wake up some days and don't feel the urge to leave the house. I stay home and work on school stuff or else just play games. That or i just stay asleep, having trouble waking up before noon.

Social life has taken a plunge since I quit my job in August to go back to school. I'm driving an hour and a half one way daily(3hrs roundtrip) to get to school. This coupled with the workload I'm experiencing(going for Game/Simulation Programming, have to learn Java, Javascript, and PHP this semester), is making it really tough to find time for anything even on the weekends.

My girlfriend has been supportive, we had a good Valentines Day, but I just feel like the fire under my *** that was there when I quit Domino's to better my situation has died a little.

I've been considering going to a part time school schedule and doing a semester then working for the Spring/Summer and repeating. Doing this will take me 8 years instead of 4 to finish and I'll be almost 34... But it feels like it will keep things in scope for me because the main reason I've come back is because at Domino's I was just treading water and living life pretty much paycheck to paycheck. I think it would keep me motivated. Last semester being this motivated I got a 4.0, this semester I'm carrying a 3.0-ish.

I want to be able to live life because I'm still young. I see people I graduated High School with and they are married, with kids, and a steady job. Living somewhere else besides this frigging valley(which if anyone who knows the wyoming valley will tell you, sucks people down)I look at how much some people have accomplished and I just don't understand... How do you make the money to go on these awesome trips with your friends 3 times a year, attend school, work a job, get good grades, and juggle a relationship/social life without freaking out?

Is this just frugal saving, are the parents helping out? I feel like I'm kind of moving forward but the wall I have to climb is so big it's gonna take everything to get over. Then I'm worried that when I do make it over, I'll be almost 30 with my young years behind me and still unhappy with my current situation. Working daily and not having the time to do the things I love or see the places I want to see because of the pursuit of the almighty dollar.

So frustrated..but enough ranting. So I guess my question is too all of you who have made it this far, what keeps you motivated? What drives you to be better everyday?

[Wolfus_305]

Hmmm I go through phases where I feel like that. I don't have the commute that you do but I am taking extra courses and no job so between no money and working to get good grades I don't have much time for anything and it gets tiring.

Does your school offer online courses? I'm taking a normal in class course load and my extra courses are online. I'm actually quite enjoying the online course.

I know that my school offers spring/summer online courses too, you could still work and get credits so that your in school course load would be less in the fall?
I don't know the format of your online courses or what your school does but mine have little assignments due every sunday at midnight, not too much reading. then a midterm, essay outline, essay and final. so it's not too much work

[KORBIN5895]

I myself have a wife and three kids to support. I am 26. I hate that I never went and got an education. Being on this side of the fence I will say stick with it. Get your schooling done as quick as you can because thirty isn't old. I have several friends living the lifestyle you mentioned. Most of them are drowning in unnecessary debt because they blew their money living it up. I always look at them and think "wow how much fun that must be! " then I really look at them and see that they are just screwing themselves over for the most part.

[marvelfreak]

For me it's my wife and kids. Find something you can do like sports that push you to give your all. Or another hobby along with your snakes. Set some short term goals. Give yourself something to work towards so when you do it you have that sense of accomplishment. Your problem sound like right now everything in your life that your trying to achieve is so far away you feel beat down. Having some short term goals to shoot for may really help with the beat down and unmotivated feeling.

[CK SandBoas]

For me, it's usually my snakes, but right now, i'm having a hard time, even with them, to stay motivated and up. Everyone else has given you some good advice, so there really isn't a lot i can add, but i hope you can get your motivation back.

[Shmoges]

Just think of what your life would be like if you stayed at Dominos and made a career out of that. That is motivation enough for anything IMO. Stay full time man, you may not understand or believe me but being early twenties is really good for school because you don't really have an established standard of living yet unlike a thirty+ year old like me. You can quit your job and lower your standards of living so much easier than I can.

[jaleely]

I think you do sound a little bit depressed...or at least discouraged. Been there, lots!
If you can just crack down and get through school, it will help. That way you won't feel like your treading water with that, too, if it takes a long time.
I don't have much more advice. I struggle all the time with trying to feel motivated. I'm perfectly happy doing nothing, so doing any kind of projects or anything is hard for me. I care about my snakes and my dog, and will do things for them, but i fully admit i put things off when i should do them, even for them. I've found if i analyze my thoughts a bit, and find out what my excuses are...i can rationalize that they ARE just excuses and i just need to get up and do what i'm supposed to do. lol Just sigh, and it'll be and overwith, and maybe i'll feel accomplished about it in the end!

[Skumbo]

I'm in my "senior year" (5 years on and off full and part time) of college, it's been a ******** experience for me and everyone I know who has been to college. It's a stupid system and a waste of time. BUT, if you're going into something where a degree will actually benefit you, then it's worth it.
I'm doing it because I will be able to *literally* charge 3 times as much money for personal training rather than working at a golds gym and making $30/hr forever (keep in mind PT doesn't have guaranteed hours or clients)

Anyway, I've really seperated and lost most of my "social life" in the last two years or so, luckily I live with my girlfriend, I believe if I lived alone I would have dropped out of college a while ago.

You have to realize that 30 isn't old, in fact you physiologically "peak" at 28-34 years old. I have 30 year old friends who still "live" like anyone in their 20's.

I've really cheered up since getting a pet finally (my snake!) and taking care of something. The main thing is that youre working towards what makes you happy, if you're just in college to make your parents happy or something.. id rethink what you're doing.

[jaleely]

Just turned 31 and in my 20's i felt like 30 was old, but i don't feel old. I feel happier having experiences behind my belt.

[alessia55]

Sounds like you're overwhelmed with the humdrum stuff of life, but that there's not enough excitement to keep you up. You should try making exciting plans for yourself or for you and your girlfriend. Something you wouldn't normally do, like go to a different city for the weekend, or even bowling. I have a lot of issues keeping myself motivated to do school work and I find it helps to have something to look forward to in the NEAR future.

[shaunyboy]

So the past 2 weeks I have been feeling very un-motivated. This is a vent/rant. Iif you don't want to read it just leave now. This board is full of good souls so I feel pretty good about asking you guys what your thoughts are.

I can't really explain it, I'm not depressed, and I know what I want to do for a living but I just wake up some days and don't feel the urge to leave the house. I stay home and work on school stuff or else just play games. That or i just stay asleep, having trouble waking up before noon.

Social life has taken a plunge since I quit my job in August to go back to school. I'm driving an hour and a half one way daily(3hrs roundtrip) to get to school. This coupled with the workload I'm experiencing(going for Game/Simulation Programming, have to learn Java, Javascript, and PHP this semester), is making it really tough to find time for anything even on the weekends.

My girlfriend has been supportive, we had a good Valentines Day, but I just feel like the fire under my *** that was there when I quit Domino's to better my situation has died a little.

I've been considering going to a part time school schedule and doing a semester then working for the Spring/Summer and repeating. Doing this will take me 8 years instead of 4 to finish and I'll be almost 34... But it feels like it will keep things in scope for me because the main reason I've come back is because at Domino's I was just treading water and living life pretty much paycheck to paycheck. I think it would keep me motivated. Last semester being this motivated I got a 4.0, this semester I'm carrying a 3.0-ish.

I want to be able to live life because I'm still young. I see people I graduated High School with and they are married, with kids, and a steady job. Living somewhere else besides this frigging valley(which if anyone who knows the wyoming valley will tell you, sucks people down)I look at how much some people have accomplished and I just don't understand... How do you make the money to go on these awesome trips with your friends 3 times a year, attend school, work a job, get good grades, and juggle a relationship/social life without freaking out?

Is this just frugal saving, are the parents helping out? I feel like I'm kind of moving forward but the wall I have to climb is so big it's gonna take everything to get over. Then I'm worried that when I do make it over, I'll be almost 30 with my young years behind me and still unhappy with my current situation. Working daily and not having the time to do the things I love or see the places I want to see because of the pursuit of the almighty dollar.

So frustrated..but enough ranting. So I guess my question is too all of you u who have made it this far, what keeps you motivated? What drives you to be better everyday?

please don't take this the wrong way,or think i'm being cheeky.....


at the moment your feeling sorry for your self (we all do it from time to time)

you seem to be focusing on the negative aspects of your life.....

people your age doing hollidays,etc and your not

you think 30 years of age is old and life is over

your focusing on only the successfull people around you of the same age

in doing so your making yourself miserable so then.....

you sit around playing games,sleeping until late in the day,etc until you end up not wanting to leave the house.....

this just brings you further down and you start to get into a routine,that you will end up doing on auto pilot after a while.so your emotions/feelings will start to shut down.....

again this brings you further down until.....

you do become clinically depressed,sooooooo.....

before you get into that vicious circle.....

start to focus on the POSOTIVE stuff in your life.....

you are in good health,you are academic/intellectual enough to have a career planned,your in the proccess of achieving said career,

basically you know what you want to do and have the means to achieve it

on top of all that you have a very supportive girlfriend

we all get down from time to time mate

and that big wall in front of you gets higher,but the more you climb the easier it becomes.....

APPRECIATE and FOCUS on,all the good things you have going on in your life,things that a lot of others are not fourtunate enough to have

go for walks,or hit the gym,either of the 2 will stimulate natural endorphins,our bodys own " happy " chemical.

oh and for the record
your 25 and even if you are 30 by the time you have everything in place and the way you always wanted it.imo you will not feel or be old,you will how ever feel a lot wiser and appreciate the world around you more

imo,yes to a point its about the mighty dollar,but.....

as long as theres a roof over your head,food on the table and all your loved ones are healthy,then you are ok

you have to wiegh that, against the mighty dollar,strike a balance,and that will be your life (the wall)

mean time,all i'm saying is,take a look at all the good things around you and draw strength/support/happyness from them,imo this will be enough to lift you out your present slump and get you back on track with your 4.0 grades;)

i hope i have made sense and NOT overstepped the mark.i in no way wish any offense,i offer merely the ramblings of an oldish,scotsman:wacky:;)

[jaleely]

my husband had a mid life crisis at 30...had all these misconseptions that just made us both miserable. 2 years later he's finally realized it was no big deal, and life is has a lot more to it. think positive!

[Lankyrob]

When i was 25 i was going through a similar kinda funk, then my dad got cancer, i spent one day with him prior to his major surgery in the cancer ward. Chatting to the men in that ward aged as old as 70 and as young as 16 for that day made me realise how cushy life was and within a couple of weeks i had proposed, changed jobs and started on the road to my masters degree.

Not sure if they do this in the states but over here you can apply to be a "reader" in hospitals, you go in and read the paper or a novel to patients to ill to read for themselves - it is an enlightening experience. :)

[Norm66]

Lots of good advice. To me the best is to focus on the positives and stay full-time in school and get that over with ASAP.

If you're lucky your degree will allow you to get a job you enjoy going to and your life will be perfect. If you're like me your degee will get you a job that makes money but bores/irritates (depends on the day) you to death. I focus on my wife and my hobbies and realize work is just something I do to support my other habits. It gets me up in the morning.

As far as social life IMHO it's important not to over-state the importance of such. People come and go in your life. There will be times that it seems like you've got tons of friends and times when it seems like you're alone. It all evens out in my experience.

[jarich]

All some good advice from people who sound like they have similar experiences too. I would maybe add just one more thing, which sounds a little weird maybe, but can help too. Treat yourself like one of your animals. Whats your temp? Enclosure? Diet? Activity level?

Its winter, which means you are getting less sun and colder weather. This has been shown in many people to cause a lot more depression or general malaise. Im a very positive person, but right around January life starts getting harder to stay upbeat (I hate winter!) You may be one of those people who finds themselves in a bit of a funk each winter and will have to adapt to doing extra stuff to stay motivated in that January to March time of year.

What are you eating? If you arent getting the vitamins and minerals you need it will be much more difficult to be positive and upbeat. Vitamins in the B complex are directly related to mood, so are things like Potassium and possibly even Zinc. If you arent eating enough vegetables, your brain and body are just trying to sludge along rather than excelling. When you eat is important too, make sure you get some breakfast in you otherwise come early afternoon you are really going to be dragging.

Whats your exercise level like? There are few things so easily and predictably tied to a more positive outlook than exercise. If you arent getting as much as you need, then stress is much more difficult to deal with and energy levels drop. Plus its a good way to quickly effect your self confidence, and that always helps with motivation.

Maybe its a little silly as a way of explanation, but we always talk about what is best for the health and wellbeing of our animals and forget that we are animals too. Starting with the physical makes all that other mental stuff much easier.

[AaronRiot]

One cool thing about people is that mood is contagious. We are a very easily influenced creatures.

Familiar with NLP? Richard Bandler? I work with people in "slumps" and who have other situations going on that need guidance. Best advice from a distance is to have a listen to Bandler speak. If you'd like media or direction to particularly good media pm me :)

A lot of the other advice is good as well. Keep at it.

[Skumbo]

Alrighty, others are getting into the health aspect, so as a personal trainer.. im going to chime in right now!

If you dont regularly exercise and if you don't eat very well (you'd be surprised how "healthy" eating is actually pretty bad for you), you're weighing yourself down literally and figuratively.

People always say "i dont have the energy to work out by the end of the day"
That's because you're out of shape!
Being out of shape is the equivalent of feeling sick all the time if you can compare it to a time of being in very good health. I'm at the point where I can wake up at 5:30, work out for two hours, go to my 8 am classes, get home at 12, work out again for an hour, go to a 4 hour lab, then get a client or two in in the afternoon. Then i work on the weekends as well. If you told me at the start of college (i started full time) I could do this, I'd call you a crazy person.

I have been very bipolar my whole life, and have struggled with depression past the point of trying to kill myself junior year in high-school, it reached a point where I really had to get my **** together and figure out what was wrong with me. Exercise ended up being my outlet, and I am able to vent myself and mellow out through physical exertion. Other people have different possible outlets as well, such as maybe snake keeping! You just need to find what makes you happy, despite all the craziness that may be going on in your life.

Shoot me an email if you are interested in any sort of work out/diet plan, I normally charge a good chunk o' cash for consultation and assessment, but I'm offering a free one (partly cause its online anyway so its a bit harder to figure everything out lol) if you'd like to take me up on it.


Hope you get things sorted out! I had a real reality check when I moved in with a huge loser a few years ago for a roommate, we ended up kicking him out cause it turned out he was 32 (not 23 like he said) and went through 3 jobs in 4 months..


also.. i like this picture..

http://blog.zerodean.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/if-you-can.png

[Wolfus_305]

Exercise ended up being my outlet, and I am able to vent myself and mellow out through physical exertion.

I agree 100% when I exercise regularly i find I feel like I have more energy, I sleep so much better and when I wake up i'm not like slowly waking up, i just feel awake and good and then I really look forward to working out again that day and the next day

[Snakefood]

Skumbo- Love that poster, very true and we take for granted what we have everyday.

OP- all the things you listed in your OP can be contributed to a lack of vit B 12 & 6. A friend of mine sufferef all those things, started taking the B vits and she says all the physical symptoms are gone, and therefore the mental agaony we put ourselves through when dealing with things like that. My mom's friend started complaining about the same sorts of things and I told her that Sonya (above friend) bounds out of bed in the mornings now and faces her day brightly, and so my mom's friend went and got the b complex vits and VIOLA!! same thing for her, she feels all better.

Worth a shot at least, after all it'sjust a vitamin!!

[Kiljosh]

First off, I've read every reply and want to thank you all for your advice. Every post has been helpful in some way.

On the topic of health, I am definitely out of shape. That's one thing I miss about my job, we would get really busy and I'd get plenty of exercise running around town all day. So yea, maybe I should start working out. I planned to as a New Years resolution alongside stopping the b ad habit of nail biting. Haven't bit a nail in almost a month so maybe I should goto the next resolution.

I had heard energy drinks are bad for you, so I ended up quitting them. But honestly, i was drinking them for like 4 years and if you've ever read a can they almost are always packed with b vits. So maybe I do have a deficiency. I'm going to get some One-A-Day vitamins today and see how it does.

On the topic of winter, I love winter. It's by far, my favorite season. But this year I haven't been able to enjoy it like normal. I used to take walks in the woods and haven't this winter. Also, I am used to going to the mountain and snowboarding atleast 3 times a week in winter but no money to do that this year.

Oh, and on the topic of mood being contagious. I fully agree. I think it was the American Heart Association that did a study on the effects of other people's brainwaves on our own bodies. ANd if I remember correctly, you could measure waves from someone else's brain from outside the body. It was shown to influence heart rate and blood pressure I believe. So yes, we are all interconnected in a way. Check out the movie Kymatica, after seeing that movie I changed a lot of the things I was doing in life and lived more for myself. They talk about that study in it.

But thank you guys. So much. Yesterday was a tough day but I'm going to take the advice seen here and try to do something this weekend to "wake me" back up.

[Skumbo]

First off, I've read every reply and want to thank you all for your advice. Every post has been helpful in some way.

On the topic of health, I am definitely out of shape. That's one thing I miss about my job, we would get really busy and I'd get plenty of exercise running around town all day. So yea, maybe I should start working out. I planned to as a New Years resolution alongside stopping the b ad habit of nail biting. Haven't bit a nail in almost a month so maybe I should goto the next resolution.

I had heard energy drinks are bad for you, so I ended up quitting them. But honestly, i was drinking them for like 4 years and if you've ever read a can they almost are always packed with b vits. So maybe I do have a deficiency. I'm going to get some One-A-Day vitamins today and see how it does.

On the topic of winter, I love winter. It's by far, my favorite season. But this year I haven't been able to enjoy it like normal. I used to take walks in the woods and haven't this winter. Also, I am used to going to the mountain and snowboarding atleast 3 times a week in winter but no money to do that this year.

Oh, and on the topic of mood being contagious. I fully agree. I think it was the American Heart Association that did a study on the effects of other people's brainwaves on our own bodies. ANd if I remember correctly, you could measure waves from someone else's brain from outside the body. It was shown to influence heart rate and blood pressure I believe. So yes, we are all interconnected in a way. Check out the movie Kymatica, after seeing that movie I changed a lot of the things I was doing in life and lived more for myself. They talk about that study in it.

But thank you guys. So much. Yesterday was a tough day but I'm going to take the advice seen here and try to do something this weekend to "wake me" back up.

I'm not going to tell you NOT to take vitamins, but if you eat properly you would never need them. take a look at the color of your urine after you start taking vitamins, is it yellow? you're pissing away the money you spent on vitamins.

Now, obviously, not everyone is going to eat properly, so they do help if you cant motivate yourself to buy good food, but you could be spending that money on some quality food rather than cheap crap. Also eating vegetables and fruits all day makes you feel so much better than eating crap and having a few pills to offset the poor dietary choices.

That said, energy drinks are far from bad for you. They're bad if all you do is chug 4 cans of regular monsters and play video games all day, but if you have a diet energy drink once a day, its basically the same as having a coffee but with added vitamins that aren't found readily in most diets.\

as for nail biting, im horrible at it and it was my new years resolution and I still do it, heh.

[Kiljosh]

You know what helped me quit biting my nails? I went out and got a manicure kit haha. Every time I start to bite I get out the nail clippers in my pocket.

[SpOoKy]

I go through this pretty much every winter and there is only 2 things that work for me. Since I work a very physical job outside all day in the summer I try to replicate it.

Go to the gym, or just take a walk or jog everyday, get your blood moving. I also once a month in the winter go to a tanning salon. i know they are so bad for you but I go for a quick 7 min tan in a regular bed and I am completely new person again. A 7 min tan in a regular bed should only cost you about 10bucks or less.

[Skumbo]

You know what helped me quit biting my nails? I went out and got a manicure kit haha. Every time I start to bite I get out the nail clippers in my pocket.

I barely have nails to clip at this point, lol

I go through this pretty much every winter and there is only 2 things that work for me. Since I work a very physical job outside all day in the summer I try to replicate it.

Go to the gym, or just take a walk or jog everyday, get your blood moving. I also once a month in the winter go to a tanning salon. i know they are so bad for you but I go for a quick 7 min tan in a regular bed and I am completely new person again. A 7 min tan in a regular bed should only cost you about 10bucks or less.

Oh man yeah.. I'm so fizzed about the snow situation this year, normally im out skiing like a machine all day every day that i have a free moment (part of why i live 2 miles from a ski mountain) but ALL winter its been rain or too warm, i've been to the mountain TWICE and its mid february. :mad: