Dear Dogs and Cats

[Snakefood]

The dishes with the paw prints in them are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note-placing your pawprint in the middle of my plate of food does not make it yours! Nor do I find it esthetically pleasing in the least!

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help as I can fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything larger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about this.Do not think I will continue sleeping on a couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up into a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and tongues lolling to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is NOT a secret exit from the bathroom. If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the door and try to pull it open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also... I have been using the bathroom for years, canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs butt, I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH!!

To pacify you, our dearest pets, I have posted the following message on our front door;

To all non-pet owners who visit and like to complain about our pets:

1) They live here, you don't
2)If you don't want thier hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture (that's why they call it "fur"niture)
3)I like my pets better than I like people

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because:

1)They eat less
2)Don't ask for money all the time
3)Are easier to train
4)Usually come when called
5)Never drive your car
6)Don't hang out with drug using friends
7)Don't smoke or drink
8)Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions
9)Don't wear your clothes
10)Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and last but definately not least......
10)If they get pregnant, you can sell thier children!!

[NennaMeerkat]

Honestly I don't know how or why people allow ANY of their pets sleep with them or allow them on the furniture (mostly dogs in that case). I see people allowing their cats to trail all over the kitchen counters, clean themselves on the kitchen table, and bounce around on everything else. Honestly dogs were meant to sleep and be on the floor not on your bed/couches. Cats shouldn't be allowed on the things you make food/eat food off of.

That is just my little rant.

[Lankyrob]

It is almost impossible to keep cats off the kitchen counters (believe me i have tried!!) but a good routine of hygienic wipes and using chopping boards means that preparing food isnt risky.

I dont like dogs lying on my bed personally but do allow them on the "fur"niture as i like cuddles and cant bend down or sit on the floor for them. My boy sleeps in a metal cage at night and is also in there when we leave him alone in the house.

[Gungirl]

I will never own a cat so that stuff isnt an issue but My dogs do sleep at the foot of my bed every night and I wouldn't want it any other way. They also are free to lay on the couch and snuggle.
However I keep my furniture clean and my dogs trained. When I tell them to stay off the couch or anything they happily lay on the floor. If I have a guest over they will not pounce on them or bother them. They will find a good spot in the middle of the room and lay on the floor until spoken to. If you train your animals sharing the bed/couch with them is no real issue in my eyes...

[stephanbakir]

My dog sleeps on the floor, when there is thunder and lightning he is scared so climbs up in bed with us (Keep in mind, he weighs as much as most 15 year olds -.- )

[Onyx Cross]

I love that post! I couldn't agree more. My cats don't climb on the tables or counter-tops EVER. They have tried when they were little and naive, but I'm sure they regretted it very much after the fact, lol.
All my animals are "pretty much" trained. Dog is not allowed in the living/dining room, nor is she (nor the cats) allowed on the 2nd or 3rd floors of our house.
Cats are the only ones allowed in the living/dining room, but they're not allowed on the couch.
Of course, when we're not home the cat and dog take advantage and plop on the couch sometimes, which sucks...But you can't scold them at 9pm for something they did at 1pm, you know?

[Snakefood]

My cat got up on the kitchen counter ONCE!!! Never again.

My doggies don't sleep in my bed, hubby won't allow it. But I do let them on the furniture. Venninne weighs 19 lbs, so it is like having a cat there beside you. Poitash weighs 75 lbs, he never used to like getting up on the furniture, but now at 12, his old bones ache and I let him up, he has picked one futon chair as his own and sleeps there on colder nights.

[kabigat]

That post had me rolling.
I've got four kids so I can relate to the last bits.
Only have the one pet,cornelius the corn snake,no room for anymore.:-(
Any one want to buy any kids.......? ;-)

[Snakefood]

GOD NO!!!!! But I'll get a snake!!!

I can't even imagine 4 kids, my ONE son is special needs and it's all I can personally handle!! No more kids for me!!

1 kid, 1 husband (second kid), 2 dogs, 1 cat, 8 rabbits, 4 rats, a chicken coop and a soon to be snake and my day is pretty full!!!!

[candyraver69]

Good post hehe.

I never let pets sleep in my room let alone my bed, but that's an allergy thing. Not sure what the case would be if I didn't have allergies. I think the bed would be the way my couch is, they are only allowed up when invited. It takes some training efforts, but it's worth it. I also had a special towel that they knew if it was on the couch, they were allowed to be on that part.

If only kids were as easy to train as dogs! I can't even manage to teach them to knock, I have to have a lock on my door to keep them out of my room, out of the reptiles, out of the rat room, etc.