You may be a herpaholic if.......

[infernalis]

I thought we had this thread already, but I can't find it.. so here it is.

Think of any, post them.. Let's see where this goes.

You may be a herpaholic if....

you have more mice in your freezer than "human" food.

your delivery driver knows you by name and says "more snakes today"

you spend your income tax returns on vivariums.

[Lankyrob]

if.... every time someone mentions decorating or moving the furniture around you immediately wonder how many more vivs you can fit in.

.....you spend less time on facebook reading about people than you do on forums reading about snakes

......your internet home page is the reptile rehoming page of craigslist

[infernalis]

I like those Rob, sound like you ;)

[Lankyrob]

I like those Rob, sound like you ;)


No not me .....never!!!!

Thought of another one -

if ...... when you go into the reptile shop the staff immediately start showing you the new stock and asking "what you buying today?"

[infernalis]

Bible salesmen avoid your home like you have bubonic plague....

Someone you know was freaked out because they found dead mice in your freezer...

every time you see a flat object, even in a city park, you simply cannot resist flipping it over to see what lies beneath..

You have ever slammed on the brakes of your automobile to "rescue" that turtle in the road..Just knowing it would be much "happier" in a tank somewhere in your home.

[Nafun]

if... every room in your house is a quarantine room.
if... you lie to friends and family about how many herps you have.
if... you've ever bought a snake just because you didn't have that species yet.
if... you call your herps "baby, sweetie, honey, etc" more than you do your significant other

[presspirate]

if you've ever walked down the kitchen supply aisle at the store looking for hides and water dishes.

[shaunyboy]

if the first thing you see when you open your eyes is carpet pythons into double figures peering back at you.

if you've asked every kid you have if its ok to put a snake in their bedrooms.
my 10 year old has 2 carpets and my 17 year old has a diamond python in their rooms.

if your living room is more of a quarintine room slash reptile infirmary than an actual living room.

when you have to buy an extra freezer to keep your human food in as dead rats have took over your kitchen freezer.

you dont have face book or the likes as your too busy on reptile forums.

when its between replacing your knackered car or getting 2 new snakes and you go for the new snakes every time.

when you've not been on holliday in 15 years but your wife and kids go for 2 weeks hollidays every year without you.you say to them " oh im ok i'll just take the peace and quiet and do all the things ive been meaning to do re my collection ".

when you think nothing of blow drying rats with your wifes hair dryer to put a bit heat in them before you offer them up as food.even when visitors pop in you just lift your head say hello and get right back to heating up your dead rats.


without so much as a second thought,you do things like braining rats or remove chicks yolk sacks then spray it over a dead rat.all in the name of getting a snake to eat.

cheers shaun

[Will0W783]

if....your herp vet knows you on a first name basis.
if....you've ever spent all night in your snake room waiting for an arboreal to show signs of hunting to offer food.
if....you show everyone you meet pictures of your snakes as though they were your kids.

[Lankyrob]

if....you show everyone you meet pictures of your snakes as though they were your kids.

Glad i am not the only one that does this!!!

[percey39]

Haha there are some good ones in there.

When no one will come over as they are scared the house is over run with snakes

When your inlaws wont step foot out of their car in the driveway

When your more concerned about your snakes when you get home than anything or anyone else.

When you keep building more and more tanks in the pursuit of getting that elusive species

When you spend more on snakes than you do on clothes for yourself.

[infernalis]

reword that.. (me)

you show everyone pictures of your snakes instead of pictures of your kids.

Your desktop wallpaper scene is snakes.

you plan your family vacation to include snake den sites.

I stole these from my forum, thanks to the various members who posted them...

If you view your rodent pro invoices as "just another utility bill" you may be a "herpaholic"

If you breed insects that everyone else pays the exterminator to remove, you may be a "herpaholic"

If you buy Tilapia and Salmon with your food stamps, you may be a "herpaholic"

If you mow your lawn at the hottest part of the day, just to avoid running over a snake, you may be a "herpaholic"

If you check your forums at 3:00 am to see if there are any new posts...you may be a "herpaholic"

If you're thinking about moving your daughter into the smaller bedroom because she only has 3 pieces of furniture, and you need more snake room, you may be a herpaholic.

If your husband gets severely kicked by a horse while you are in the middle of feeding your baby garters and you are ANNOYED LIKE HELL at the interruption, you might be a herpaholic....

You gather night crawlers, and don't go fishing........

You go fishing, but don't eat fish...........

You "brake for fish tanks" especially when they have a "free" sign attached to them!

Your primary reason for stopping at the thrift store is to look for water bowls.....

Your bookshelf looks like a lawyers office, and all the books are about snakes.......

If the idea of a $300 garter snake does not bother you...


you intentionally scatter sheets of plywood all over your lawn....

[presspirate]

If you thaw an extra mouse/rat "just in case"

[Nafun]

If you can tell people when each of your snakes last ate and shed, but can't remember your wife's birthday.

You act like a proud parent the first time you get a reluctant eater to eat.

When you get bitten, you're more worried about damage to the snake than yourself.

When talking to people who you know disapprove of your habit, you downsize your collection. Five turtles become "a turtle", four pythons become "two pythons", and a corn snake, milk snake, kingsnake, two garters, and a rainbow boa become "my new snake"

Friends and family ask "are there any snakes loose?" before they walk in the door.

When you go to the vet, you measure up other people's pets based on "which of my snakes could eat it"

[infernalis]

cool, love 'em... keep going folks.

[presspirate]

When you go to the vet, you measure up other people's pets based on "which of my snakes could eat it"

When you look at neighborhood children and think the same thing.

[emseeKAY]

if... you don't tell your in laws because they wouldn't like you anymore lol

[Nafun]

If you say "No more snakes! I've got enough! I don't want any more, I don't need any more." and buy another snake two days later.

I stopped at PetCo today (they were having an aquarium sale $1/gallon (they were unsurprisingly nearly sold out). Managed to get a 40 breeder for 40 bucks though... and a baby ball python in the middle of the worst shed I've ever seen. I'd have gotten a picture, but the first thing I did was wet bag him.

[Palor]

A fun thread, so many of these things apply to me.

I spend more $ on reptile food than I do on people food?

[Larrybabb]

So that is how I get Rid of door to door salesman ?lol

[Paradise]

You know you are a herpaholic when you release mice in your house for the 2 snakes that got out and you still cant find.

luckily I found them before I had to do that but I was considering doing just that if I didn't find them.

[Paradise]

you may be a herpaholic if your wife asks you "Now where do these snakes come from?" everyday!

............ if you rashin your families food coz the there is no space in the freezer!

............ if family wont visit. Even though they love you.

............ if the pastor phones and prays for you everyday so the devil can leave your house. "this actually happened. First when I bought my motor cycle and later when I got my first couple of snakes "

[Nafun]

I understand the whole snake/devil connection, but where in the bible exactly is the devil associated with motorcycles? Or is there a sequel that I haven't read?

Screw it, I'll wait for the movie.

[Paradise]

hahaha our pastor is one of the old school types.. He believes motorcycles to be the devils transport. Where he got that idea, is a mistery to me.

[infernalis]

I understand the whole snake/devil connection, but where in the bible exactly is the devil associated with motorcycles? Or is there a sequel that I haven't read?

Screw it, I'll wait for the movie.

Obviously you already missed it my friend....

http://www.ssnakess.info/rider/rider.jpg

http://www.ssnakess.info/rider/ghostrider.jpg

http://www.ssnakess.info/rider/rider2.jpg

[Lankyrob]

If..... you go out to buy a bed for your daughter and buy 3 vivs, 2 snakes and a lizard instead!!! oops!!

[Will0W783]

When you spend more on snakes than you do on clothes for yourself.

Hahaha, I totally do this!

...if the only part of going to the zoo that excites you is the reptile house.
...if, when you're at said reptile house, you tick off the species you have (1 of those, 3 of those, 2 of these..) and create mental lists of what you want to buy next.
....if you realize you have a more extensive and varied collection than your local zoo....and your local zoo is nationally recognized. ;)

....if you refuse to let family members open your freezer because they will die if they see the shelves of frozen rodents and birds.
....if you screech to a halt in the road to rescue turtles and snakes and put them safely back in the grass.
....if seeing snakeskin purses and shoes makes your blood boil.
....if you plan your vacations around when you can get people to care for your snakes and have to make sure not to be away too long.

[Nafun]

If the constant squeaking of rodents and constant chirping of crickets has just faded into the back ground noise so you don't even notice it anymore.

If you sleep in the reptile room during the winter to save money.

There are pet stores you'd never buy an animal from, but you check them every week anyway, just to see if the snakes are being properly cared for.

If you've ever asked to see the manager, just to lecture him on the improper conditions a snake is being kept in.

If you've ever bought a snake to rescue it from those conditions.

[blkjkoknhrt]

when you dont blog because you dont want anyone to know how involved you are with your collection and just cant get yourself to find anything more interesting to write about

[Jenn_06]

when your family thinks you just have one snake but the real truth is you have 15

[infernalis]

When chicks with balls are a turn on.......

http://www.guidofistpump.com/guido%20pix/snake%20guidette.jpg

[totheend]

.......if your freezer breaks down and you throw out all of your food to make room for rodents in your fridge freezer

[marvelfreak]

When your wife ask what you want for your birthday or christmas and before you can answer she says no snake or snake related gifts. Then it takes you two weeks to think of something for yourself.

When the Fed Ex guy ask if the package is a new snake and can he watch you open it.

If when you go to pet store people mistake you for a employee, because they see you there so much.

[infernalis]

When the Fed Ex guy ask if the package is a new snake and can he watch you open it.

Been there done that......

When the UPS driver says "now you can feed them" as he drops off the frozen rodents.

[Nafun]

When chicks with balls are a turn on.......

That won't cause any misunderstandings at ALL.

[Nafun]

Also...

If you justify buying a monitor/tegu so that refused rodents won't go to waste, even though your cats and dogs beg at the freezer on feeding day.

[infernalis]

I just added a picture to end any confusion ;)

[percey39]

Nice picture wayne, now there wont be any confusion

[infernalis]

If you have ever flooded the woods so the tadpoles would not dry up, just so the wild baby garter snakes would have lots to eat... you may just be a herpaholic.


http://www.thamfriends.com/forum/picture.php?albumid=32&pictureid=594

http://www.thamfriends.com/forum/picture.php?albumid=32&pictureid=596

http://www.thamfriends.com/forum/picture.php?albumid=32&pictureid=595

http://www.thamfriends.com/forum/picture.php?albumid=32&pictureid=598

http://www.thamfriends.com/forum/picture.php?albumid=32&pictureid=597

http://www.thamfriends.com/forum/picture.php?albumid=32&pictureid=599

[percey39]

Haha nice work mate.

[Paradise]

Obviously you already missed it my friend....

http://www.ssnakess.info/rider/rider.jpg

http://www.ssnakess.info/rider/ghostrider.jpg

http://www.ssnakess.info/rider/rider2.jpg

Thank you thank you thank you

You rock

[Paradise]

When chicks with balls are a turn on.......

http://www.guidofistpump.com/guido%20pix/snake%20guidette.jpg

.....if you totally understand what wayne means here. (With or without the pic)

NICE SNAKE

[infernalis]

Lucky snake......

[Lankyrob]

If when you go to pet store people mistake you for a employee, because they see you there so much.

Was in the reptile shop (AGAIN) today (just had to see my GTP again!!!) - guy came up and asked me if i could get the Tiger Retic out for him to have a look at!! Funny thing is the shop owner just threw me the keys and i went and got it for the customer!!!

Maybe i ought to be getting paid........

[shaunyboy]

Was in the reptile shop (AGAIN) today (just had to see my GTP again!!!) - guy came up and asked me if i could get the Tiger Retic out for him to have a look at!! Funny thing is the shop owner just threw me the keys and i went and got it for the customer!!!

Maybe i ought to be getting paid........

thats how i got most of my experience mate.i did shifts at my local reptile shop for free.knowledge was much better than cash at the time.
cheers shaun

[Lankyrob]

thats how i got most of my experience mate.i did shifts at my local reptile shop for free.knowledge was much better than cash at the time.
cheers shaun

Totally agree - just popping in for food takes about an hour as i have so many questions and great chats with the guys and gals that work there. They certainly have a great bunch of herpers in there.

[shaunyboy]

rob you should have also wrote

if you go out to buy your daughter a bed and come home with a load of viv's instead.

if shes small enough she could always sleep on top of one of the viv's mate.that way everyone is happy:yes::yes::yes:

cheers shaun

[emseeKAY]

if you look for women who arent scared of snakes
if you've ever had to explain why there are more rodents and birds in your freezer then your food
if you've been called the devil's serpent master by psycho-religious nazi's named linda
if you've ever gotten rid of said psycho-religious nazi by purchasing another snake ;)
if you've ever helped someone get over their fear of snakes by showing them yours (not in that way :D)
if you like waynes girl with balls hahaha :)

[shaunyboy]

emseekay

who would'nt love waynes girl with balls.stunning...!!

[kayleegrace]

when your 14 and your dads huge "buff" friends wont come in your room.

[kayleegrace]

and are their any females on this thread... my gosh... and don't forget that girls have to find guys that aren't scared of snakes some of my guy friends will run.....literally

[Nafun]

... if you sit down at your computer to do something, and realize 20 minutes later that you haven't done it, and you're still reading snake forums.

[emseeKAY]

haha when you should be starting a final paper for college and you went on the snake forums instead...

@ Shaun; I know eh?

[presspirate]

If you call your herps "Sweetheart, Baby, or Darling" More often than you do your significant other.

[Nafun]

If you call your herps "Sweetheart, Baby, or Darling" More often than you do your significant other.

This one has gotten me into some serious hot water.

[Paradise]

Was in the reptile shop (AGAIN) today (just had to see my GTP again!!!) - guy came up and asked me if i could get the Tiger Retic out for him to have a look at!! Funny thing is the shop owner just threw me the keys and i went and got it for the customer!!!

Maybe i ought to be getting paid........

Yeah well its from situations like that, that most of my close friends are pet shop owners. Every time they get something new in stock, I get the call to go see.

[Lankyrob]

Its funny how often i "just happen to be there" when they get their daily delivery at 11am!! Not that i plan it or anyhting......

[.: Laura :.]

If you call your herps "Sweetheart, Baby, or Darling" More often than you do your significant other.


Yeah my other half isn't too impressed with that either, fortunately he isn't scared of snakes as such, just a little nervous whilst handling.

[Nafun]

Wish my wife was scared of snakes.

She's declared ownership of my kingsnake, one of my balls, and my iguana.

[.: Laura :.]

Lol gutted, might have to train Lola to bite Mark just to retain *the fear* ensuring that never happens with me ;)

[shaunyboy]

Wish my wife was scared of snakes.

She's declared ownership of my kingsnake, one of my balls, and my iguana.

ive been married 22 years this coming friday,when you've been married that long nafun im sure you'll have realised all our wifes have declared ownership of our balls in general...!! :shocked: not just the one mate :yes::yes::yes:

cheers shaun

[.: Laura :.]

22 years? Huge congratulations for tomorrow :D

[shaunyboy]

22 years? Huge congratulations for tomorrow :D

many thanks pal.before i read this post i was just looking at one of your posts and noticed your age.made think ive been married from the year you were born ( i felt a wee bit old :yes: ).we've been together 28 years and it just gets better as time goes by.

you know what they say pal.

behind every good man is a good woman.....!!! :shocked: tis true though;)

cheers shaun

[.: Laura :.]

Reminds me of my parents, they've been together 34yrs and STILL aren't married :P

[shaunyboy]

Reminds me of my parents, they've been together 34yrs and STILL aren't married :P


good on your mum and dad 34 years is a long time in anyones book.

to be honest laura i class myself as having been with my wife 28 years,if anyone asks how long we've been together.the marriage licence dont come into the equasion unless its anniversarys and thats down to my mrs.

we have 4 kids,23,20,17 and my youngest son is 10 years old.he's one of the few in his school class that has both parents living together.most of his pals are like " what your mum and dad dont have a house each ? wow thats wierd "

imo a sad reflection on todays society,seems to be more love em and leave them now...!!


im a grandad of 3 now with a fourth on the way.now that really does make me feel old.my grandaughters not long started shouting heres grandad at me.:shocked:

it will be you one day though pal ;) grandma...!!

cheers shaun

[.: Laura :.]

Yeah I completely agree it's a real shame a lot of people don't stay together often. Hopefully this wont be the case for myself and Mark as he's been my best friend for abouuuut 8yrs and we've been together for 3 of them and moved in together last week.

Congratulations again on the family! I'm very much looking forward to having one of my own in the future :)
Not yet tho, I wanna go to Amsterdam first ;)

[infernalis]

Get the wandering out of your system first.

I went to the UK & Brasil before, now I have 2 kids to grow up and leave before I can do it again.

Hopefully in a few years, I can take Dorothy with me to see some of the world.

[.: Laura :.]

Afternoon Wayne :)

I'd love to go to Brasil, expensive though :(

[infernalis]

I had a friend who shacked me up at his house for 3 weeks. It was fab.

To stay on topic.... "if you have ever flipped things over a whole continent away from home, you may be a herpaholic.

[.: Laura :.]

Pshh alright for some!
Other than SA the only friends I have abroad are in NY

[.: Laura :.]

Oh and Thurso :P but that's not exactly abroad

[shaunyboy]

Yeah I completely agree it's a real shame a lot of people don't stay together often. Hopefully this wont be the case for myself and Mark as he's been my best friend for abouuuut 8yrs and we've been together for 3 of them and moved in together last week.

Congratulations again on the family! I'm very much looking forward to having one of my own in the future :)
Not yet tho, I wanna go to Amsterdam first ;)


went to amsterdam when i was 20.went for 5 days which i thought was too long.a weekend would have been better ( i was burnt out after 3 days ).

me and the mrs were 15 and 14 years old when we first went together.so it does happen pal.she's been my best friend ever since.

congratulations on moving in together.the first years the most fun,ha,ha;)

cheers shaun

[Nafun]

I bought my wife online.

[.: Laura :.]

went to amsterdam when i was 20.went for 5 days which i thought was too long.a weekend would have been better ( i was burnt out after 3 days )

Lol 3 days sounds about right, I was thinking of going to a DnB festival in Belgium and stopping off in Amsterdam for a couple of days forst, to warm myself up :P

[shaunyboy]

I bought my wife online.


:shocked::shocked::shocked::shocked::shocked:


:yes::yes:

[Jenn_06]

if you have more photos of your snakes than your kids.

[infernalis]

if you have more photos of your snakes than your kids.


If you own 8 reptile web sites and no pictures of your children on facebook.

If you post activly on 11 different herp forums daily........

[cathatesrudy]

If you're gonna have a baby in 4 months but the herp show at the end of THIS month is the more exiting prospect at the moment... (mostly because it will happen sooner, but still)

[presspirate]

When chicks with balls are a turn on.......



When a girl asks to pet your snake and you know she is being literal.

[Nafun]

If you went out and bought a $200 digital camera, just so you could post better pics of your herps. (fyi, hq pics of 11 snakes, 5 turtles, and 2 lizards incoming!)

[Lankyrob]

Kinda wish i travelled more - only ever been to Paris (France not Texas!) apart from that never left the UK. Have explored a lot of our lovely country tho.

[marvelfreak]

If you went out and bought a $200 digital camera, just so you could post better pics of your herps. (fyi, hq pics of 11 snakes, 5 turtles, and 2 lizards incoming!)
If you done this and decided it takes great pics ,but now your eyeballing a $400.00 Canon So you can get even better pics.

If you have over 500 pics of your snakes on your camara and only 17 of family.

If you have two memorie card with over 600 plus pics of your snakes.

If 90% of your pics on your computer are of your snakes. Even after adding over 300 plus pics of your daughter wedding.

[presspirate]

If you done this and decided it takes great pics ,but now your eyeballing a $400.00 Canon So you can get even better pics.

If you have over 500 pics of your snakes on your camara and only 17 of family.

If you have two memorie card with over 600 plus pics of your snakes.

If 90% of your pics on your computer are of your snakes. Even after adding over 300 plus pics of your daughter wedding.

Now you guys are just trying to one up each other.
:yes:

[shaunyboy]

if your sitting on this forum writing this post at 5:09pm and your 22nd wedding anniversary meal is at 7pm (today 16th july).

my mrs thinks im upstairs having my bath.plenty of time to still do that though :yes::yes::yes:

cheers shaun

[Nafun]

I got a new one today...

If you start "feeding day" or "cleaning day" the night before because you can no longer finish in one day.

[Freebody]

if your sitting on this forum writing this post at 5:09pm and your 22nd wedding anniversary meal is at 7pm (today 16th july).

my mrs thinks im upstairs having my bath.plenty of time to still do that though :yes::yes::yes:

cheers shaun
Grats bro! and not on your ninja capabilities,but thats rather impressive you still get away with your tricks after all those years, she probly down stair thinking to herself ....that dumb *** is on his computer again and i bet he thinks hes fooling me.... ill let him think that if it makes him happy LOL

[Paradise]

hey all sorry I have been away for so long. Just been busy with work and such.
anyway you maybe a herpaholic..... when cleaning and feeding days are considered family time.

Shaun, 22 yrs well done congratulations my friend.

[Will0W783]

Congrats Shauny!

[Man_vs_Wild]

you stop taking drugs.
New studies have reveiled people who overcome meth addiction find satisfaction in colecting animals/ hording pets.

[Lankyrob]

You formally state you won't buy anymore snakes but say yes to rehoming one cos TECHNICALLY that is different!!!

[infernalis]

You remodel your house to accomidate more animals.

[youngster]

every time you see a flat object, even in a city park, you simply cannot resist flipping it over to see what lies beneath..

Oh my god this one is soooo incredibly true :P

How about...
you see a viv and immediately wonder what you could put in it :)

[alessia55]

You buy props specifically for your reptile photos :yes:

You go to reptile expos even if you don't plan on buying anything, JUST so that you can see more snakes :D

[ZARADOZIA]

Bible salesmen avoid your home like you have bubonic plague.....

OMG I WISH I had read this earlier..this past 2 weeks the Bible/Church people have been canvassing my neighborhood. I didn't even think to answer the door, much less with Sasha and Hendrix. But I know what I am going to do tomorrow if they come back!!!!


every time you see a flat object, even in a city park, you simply cannot resist flipping it over to see what lies beneath...

Now I don't feel so bad, my son and I do this all the time.


You have ever slammed on the brakes of your automobile to "rescue" that turtle in the road..Just knowing it would be much "happier" in a tank somewhere in your home.

I have done this, although I drove it to a pond that was routinely stocked.


Thanks to all that posted, I REALLY ENJOYED this thread!

[millertime89]

OMG I WISH I had read this earlier..this past 2 weeks the Bible/Church people have been canvassing my neighborhood. I didn't even think to answer the door, much less with Sasha and Hendrix. But I know what I am going to do tomorrow if they come back!!!!

I have done this, although I drove it to a pond that was routinely stocked.

I am SO doing this if they come around again!
and I've taken turtles out of the road and put them on the ditch on the side that the appear to be attempting to reach. Scariest one was an adult Snapping Turtle, that sucker was HUGE. Picked him up by the very back of his shell and slid him across the road and into the creek.

[lady_bug87]

you know you're an addict when...

the man at your fav reptile supplier not only knows you by name but has your order ready BEFORE YOU GET THERE

you and your spouse can not commit to having a baby but adding 4 more snakes to our collection is a no brainer

[millertime89]

you know you're a herpaholic when your coworker says you have an unhealthy addiction to snakes, and you explain it by stating "its just another life that needs caring for" to explain why you're looking at pictures of 14 foot retics and 10 foot boas when you own a 2 foot rainbow boa.

[Will0W783]

You might be a herpaholic if...

...If you continue to refer to your snakes as "Baby", "Buddy", "Pal", "Dear", even when you know they could kill you and your fiance complains about the snakey baby talk.

....If you spend more time on Craigslist and reptile forums than you do on actual work during the day

....If every time you get a raise or a bill is lower than you expected that month, you start thinking about what snake you could theoretically get next.

...If as the years go by you find yourself adding more and more species you swore you'd never keep to your collection as your experience grows.

...If feeding day is the highlight of your week.

....If you see nothing wrong with discussing sheds, feedings, bowel movements and behavior over the dinner table, or anywhere else for that matter.

....If everyone at your work/school refers to you as "Snake Lady" and comes to you with any snake-related questions or anecdotes they might have.

:)

Yup, I'm a full-on snake addict. Except, this is one addiction I really don't ever want to quit.

[lady_bug87]

If when you find out that you don't have to live wit your folks and the first thought in your mind is "now I can get a couple other snakes"

I also got called for a job interview and my first thought was... Snake money!

[lady_bug87]

You know it's bad when you're in your friends new nursery for her yet to be born son and you I mediately think this would be the perfect size for a reptile Room and then you ask her husband the dimensions of the room

[Lankyrob]

.....when people ask if you have pics of your "baby" on your phone and you realise that out of 200 photos only 3 are of humans!

[youngster]

When you want a new house just for a reptile room :)
When you go to PetCo/PetSmart just to look at the animals
When you REALLY want the new Sims 3 expansion solely because it allows you to have snakes and lizards in it :)

[millertime89]

when you really want the new sims 3 expansion solely because it allows you to have snakes and lizards in it :)

whuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut?!

[youngster]

The Sims 3 Pets (http://www.thesims3.com/content/en_US/promo/pets/pets.htm?sourceid=brand%20(pre-order/launch)_wk_sims%203%20pets_exact_82_sims%20pets_ho me_google)

They have a demo!

[jarich]

.....when people ask if you have pics of your "baby" on your phone and you realise that out of 200 photos only 3 are of humans!

Ha! That one made me laugh a lot! Too true

[SkYyaMe1623]

When you go to the vet, you measure up other people's pets based on "which of my snakes could eat it"
I have a bad case of this and it's not limited to vet visits...

[Quack]

....If everyone at your work/school refers to you as "Snake Lady" and comes to you with any snake-related questions or anecdotes they might have.


I get exactly this, except with me its "snake-boy" lol. But with some of the kids in my school, if they ask me if a "fact" about a snake is true, and i usually have to tell them its not, then explain why, they just tell me im wrong and believe it any way...

Usually, the teachers trust me more than the kids, lol

[StudentoReptile]

Parodying the popularity of Jeff Foxworthy’s signature series “You Might Be a Redneck If…,” the reptile community has adopted and modified this comedic satire to their own devices, and for several years, a regular method of bringing a little humor to the unique world of herpetoculture and herpetology is citing a few one-liners of “You Might Be a Herper If…”
While the legal nature of parodies is rather a grey area, it is typically not considered a form of copyright infringement under the fair use law. In any case, as far as I know, the individual who originally parodied Mr. Foxworthy’s trademark routine is not known, their identity lost in the recesses of the interwebs. Likewise, the famous southern comedian has not engaged in any legal action against anyone listing these parodies on their own venues, so I feel confident enough to continue this fray for your own entertainment.
Nevertheless, I cannot take credit for any of these, as I’m sure all of them already exist in some wording or another. This is merely a handful of the ones I recall offhand. Please enjoy and feel free to add any that are not included!
—————-

“You Might Be a Herper IF…”

• You keep dead rodents in your freezer.
• You have so many dead rodents, you keep them in a separate freezer for that single purpose!
• You have ever purchased crickets or worms from a bait shop, but did not use them for fishing.
• At Walmart or Target, you often find yourself on the aisle featuring storage bins and containers, and wonder how well they’ll stand up to an undertank heat placed underneath them.
• Your lizard or tortoise gets more fresh produce in its diet than you do.
• Your local pet store knows you by name.
• You are the first person your friends call when they find a snake in their yard. In fact, random strangers have your number saved under the name "snake guy."
• You have multiple snake hooks, and one of them is permanently kept in your car.
• You keep and breed mice or rats, but not for pets.
• You have ever bought cypress mulch from the garden section of Lowe’s, but it wasn’t used for landscaping.
• You have a pond on your property, but you prefer to keep it stocked with turtles, not fish.
• You have ever had 1000 crickets shipped directly to your door.
• You passionately opposed bills H.R. 669 and S.373.
• You know the scientific names for many species, but you don’t have a Ph.D. nor have you ever studied Latin.
• You can identify every species of snake shown in the film, Snakes on a Plane.
• Your yearly vacation usually occurs near Daytona Beach, Florida around the 3rd weekend in August.
• Your favorite character in the film, Lemony Snickets’ A Series of Unfortunate Events, is Uncle Montgomery Montgomery.
• At the pet store, you have ever stepped in and corrected the sales clerk in the reptile department.
• You have owned at least a third of the species represented in the reptile house at the nearest zoo.
• You are familiar with the following names: Bill Love, Kathy Love, Bob Clark, Pete Kahl, Brian Barczyk, Kevin McCurley, Chad Brown, Ralph Davis, Greg Graziani, Bill Haast, Jim Harrison, Dave Barker, Tracy Barker, **** Bartlett.
• You know any of the aforementioned people personally.
• You have any of the following websites permanently bookmarked in your web browser: Kingsnake.com, FaunaClassifieds.com, ReptileRadio.com, sSNAKESs.com, etc. (You’re definitely a Herper if you have ALL of these bookmarked!).
• You’re constantly combing through Craigslist looking for cheap cages and supplies.
• You own plenty of glass aquariums, but not a single fish.
• When asked if your pets shed, you shrug and say, “Well, sort of…”
• You often have to argue with religious folks, claiming the Bible never says that snakes are evil.
• The day that Steve Irwin died was one of the saddest days of your life.
• You grimace every time you see someone wearing a reptile-skinned article of clothing or accessory.
• You have ever corrected someone for using the phrase “poisonous snake” (they’re venomous, not poisonous!).

[snake man12]

I apply to almost all of them. If someone who doesn't like reptiles read that they would cringe...

[MoreliAddict]

My favorite "you might be a herper if" quote I've seen on this site read something like:

"you might be a herper if you size up every furry animal you see by which snakes of yours could eat it" - so guilty of that! :D

[infernalis]

been there, done that ;)

http://www.ssnakess.com/forums/general-discussion/83792-you-may-herpaholic-if.html

Mind if I just merge the threads?

[snake man12]

When your camera memory card is full down to the last picture with snake and reptile pics.

[StudentoReptile]

Sure.

I kinda figured with a forum this large and popular there was a thread already. I was just too lazy to go searching for it. lol

[infernalis]

Scary thing is, that pile of rodent boxes has doubled since the picture was taken.

I insulated my monitor cage with long strips of insulation from inside those boxes.

[Hannibalcanibal]

when you're not even in highschool and you know more about reptiles than most reptile "experts" at pet stores.......

[*Don't Mind Me*]

Because I'm new to this the only things on StudentoReptile's list that applied to me are:
• You can identify (almost) every species of snake shown in the film, Snakes on a Plane [And other films/tv shows featuring hordes of different snakes]
• Your favorite character in the film, Lemony Snickets’ A Series of Unfortunate Events, is Uncle Montgomery Montgomery. [That was the snake man right?]
• You are familiar with the following names: Bill Love, Kathy Love [Need to study more]
• You have any of the following websites permanently bookmarked in your web browser: sSNAKESs.com, etc.
• You often have to argue with religious folks (And others), claiming 1.[the Bible never says that snakes are evil] 2.[Snakes only attack when provoked]
• The day that Steve Irwin died was one of the saddest days of your life [Ruined AP]
• You grimace every time you see someone wearing a reptile-skinned article of clothing or accessory [or spread a common misconseption about reptiles].
• You have ever corrected someone for using the phrase “poisonous snake” (they’re venomous, not poisonous!). [Or for thinking they are all venomous]
I need to get rid of the dogs before getting into herpetoculture again, until then I can only learn about herps.

[Kettennatter]

Bible salesmen avoid your home like you have bubonic plague....(...)

That's the one thing I wasn't prepared for. My rather religious neighbors won't talk to me ever since the subject turned to "pets". They seemed nice otherwise.

[infernalis]

If you don't change the channel on your TV when "Pee Wee's big adventure" comes on just because of the snake scene near the end.

[CK SandBoas]

If at the end of a very long day at work, you get excited at the thought of thawing out rodents and feeding snakes, instead of sitting down and enjoying a bath:D

[BarelyBreathing]

How's this one: You get excited to see frogs in Zelda.

[bigsnakegirl785]

If....you're parents ask what you want for your birthday or Christmas and immediately respond before you say anything, "No animals."

[Hannibalcanibal]

if....you're parents ask what you want for your birthday or christmas and immediately respond before you say anything, "no animals."

that's me!

[StudentoReptile]

If....you're parents ask what you want for your birthday or Christmas and immediately respond before you say anything, "No animals."

Or later, you just ask for giftcards to LLLreptile, Petsmart, Petco, Dr. foster and Smith, Beanfarm, etc....or as the years go by, giftcards to Lowe's, Home Depot, Amazon.com, Walmart...or just plain cash!

[boosh96]

-If your reptile/amphibian wishlist is longer than your 2 brothers' Christmas or birthday wishlists combined.
-If you're almost always hatching a plan to get a reptile or amphibian "for your brother/brothers". :D
-If you feel like you HAVE to get something new at every reptile show you go to or else you'll die or something. :P
-If you brief your friends on safety and proper handling before they handle your animals.
-If you hold your animals like you hold a newborn baby and you expect everybody else to do the same.
-If you facepalm every time somebody asks, "Are your snakes POISONOUS?"

[iBaman]

If you're totally psyched that your anniversary present this year was permission to get a reticulated python!

When you have friends who won't eat over because of the rodents in your freezer.

When you don't care that your roommate is moving out because you brought home another snake. ;]

[mark24]

You may be a herpaholic if people in your town know you as snake guy

You may be a herpaholic if you have a conversation about your snakes for 2 hours with a guy you never met

You may be a herpaholic if you teach people in your town about snakes

You may be a herpaholic if you get mad when people tell you they have their kids stomp on a snake til its dead

You may be a herpaholic if you find a snake fight the urge to take it home with you

You may be a herpaholic if you move your salamander into smaller cage so you can put your snake in the bigger one

You may be a herpaholic if all you watch on TV is swamp wars gator boys ect

[*Don't Mind Me*]

You may be a herpaholic if you frown at ASPCA "donate now" commercials for not including any herps

[snake man12]

You may be a herpaholic if you have hand pain from typing on sSnakeSs.com

[JustBitten]

If....you're parents ask what you want for your birthday or Christmas and immediately respond before you say anything, "No animals."

Me too! :)


When you say "I just read/saw something interesting..." and before you finish the thought they say "is this about a snake?"

When your husband buys a $3,000 Nikon camera and you spend 20 minutes justifying it to each other because it is perfect for work (him) and it will finally allow you to get some really great head shots of your leachie and scale detail on the Cresties (me).:yes:

[Wildside]

If family members inquire whether or not there are live reptiles in your pocket before hugging

[snake man12]

If your elderly grandma asks if it's safe to come in the door for fear there may be a snake a out.

[bigsnakegirl785]

If your elderly grandma asks if it's safe to come in the door for fear there may be a snake a out.

I don't know of very many young grandmas. lol

If...over half of your room is taken up by snake cages.
If...you come back with 3 or more wild-caught snakes to show off to your family members in a day.

[beardeds4life]

I don't know of very many young grandmas. lol

If...over half of your room is taken up by snake cages.
If...you come back with 3 or more wild-caught snakes to show off to your family members in a day.

I have a young grandma!!!!!!


Whenever I get asked what I want for my birthday I always get "NO MORE GO* DAMN** ANIMALS!" I get that one ever single year.....

[Wildside]

I have a young grandma!!!!!!


Whenever I get asked what I want for my birthday I always get "NO MORE GO* DAMN** ANIMALS!" I get that one ever single year.....

My kids Grandma has been 42 for the past 8 years now. Each year I get closer to becoming a miracle baby for the Guinness Book of World Records.

[Wildside]

If you're excited to tell all your friends you're gravid

[iBaman]

When you start thinking that your fondness from snakes must come from being reincarnated from an Egyptian. ;D

[bigsnakegirl785]

If your neighbor refuses to leave his/her house/apartment when you bring your snakes outside and watches you closely through the blinds.

[AM2244]

When you want more then one bathroom so you can make one into a habitat for a tree snake! (=

Amy and Mike

[Rogue628]

Instead of hanging pictures, etc on the wall, you hang your animals best sheds. I used to do this at our old place. Now that we're getting settled, I'm going to do it again :D

[Sirrush]

If your electric bill is $200 more than it should be because of your Reptile Room.
If you read the pages on this thread just to check off things you do.
You set up your computer in your Reptile room because it is the warmest place in the house.
If you look up songs on Youtube about snakes for fun.

[smy_749]

I'm not sure if we have a thread like this, and I'm not sure if thats exactly how the phrase goes, but its pretty funny the stuff you realize you do as a reptile keeper that normal people don't do or think about...

Heres mine which my mother pointed out when I got my new apartment


You know you love reptiles when your first piece of furniture is a snake rack and your first item in the fridge is mice.

[Concept9]

I can relate. My wife was using my computer the other day and looked in my favorites for a certain link.

She said to me . . .

"You know you have Facebook your bank link and SIXTEEN RETILE links in your favorites." :)

[smy_749]

I can relate. My wife was using my computer the other day and looked in my favorites for a certain link.

She said to me . . .

"You know you have Facebook your bank link and SIXTEEN RETILE links in your favorites." :)

Only sixteen? You must be doing it wrong lol My wife is overseas and we chat over whatsapp (like instant messenger for phones) and I send her hundreds of pictures....she probably just puts them in the trash instantly these days hahahah

[LadyWraith]

When you have a small chest freezer just for F/T. Or when home improvement stores become "DIY enclosure" treasure troves in your head. <----- I catch crap for that one a lot.

[infernalis]

moved to existing thread..

[Amadeus]

You watch animal planet just to pint out to yourself and friends how wrong it is.

You have more than 20 sheds in your basement to show people that come over. Yes, yes I do =] =]

[Concept9]

Well, I just got done reading all ten pages here and I have realized that I have most of these symptoms. That being said. . .

Hi, my name is Stephen and I am a herpaholic. :)

[Mikoh4792]

If you like to watch your snakes more than you like to watch T.V.

[Amadeus]

Well, I just got done reading all ten pages here and I have realized that I have most of these symptoms. That being said. . .

Hi, my name is Stephen and I am a herpaholic. :)

Hi Stephen would you like to speak first?

[Concept9]

If your wife ruins your Living Gems T-Shirt so you cut up all her bras. :)

Or

You have a extra credit card just for snake emergencies. (like buying a new one) :

[Mikoh4792]

If your wife ruins your Living Gems T-Shirt so you cut up all her bras. :)

Or

You have a extra credit card just for snake emergencies. (like buying a new one) :

Buying a new snake is always a dire emergency.

[wrecker45]

when your bed is covered in substrate instead of sheets.

[Mark Taylor]

Buying a new snake is always a dire emergency.

Lmfao mate reminds me a little of me.

[RyanReptile]

If you have been told to ask for admission to get into your home because you have so many animals.

If when you walk down the rubbermaid aisle at wal-wart and think "oww the possibilities."

[CK SandBoas]

even though you had not planned on breeding this season, you get excited when you realize your female retained sperm, and will be giving you a litter this year! :D

[Mikoh4792]

even though you had not planned on breeding this season, you get excited when you realize your female retained sperm, and will be giving you a litter this year! :D

?!?! snakes can retain sperm?

I did not know this. How long can they retain it?

[CK SandBoas]

?!?! snakes can retain sperm?

I did not know this. How long can they retain it?

Yes they can, Sand Boas have been known to do it quite often. My female Paradox Albino retained sperm from last seasons breeding. I wasn't thrilled at first, but now i cannot wait to see those little worms arrive :p

[marvelfreak]

?!?! snakes can retain sperm?

I did not know this. How long can they retain it?

Keith Mc Peek from The Bloodline had a female Black Blood lay a clutch of eggs after not being with a male for over a year.

Back to topic. If you have costumers come up to you at work and ask if you really have a bunch of snake? When you answer yes they want to know if they could bring their kids or grand kids over to see them.

Also if after people see your collection then comment that you have cooler snakes and a bigger variety than the local zoo.:D:D

[infernalis]

?!?! snakes can retain sperm?

I did not know this. How long can they retain it?

It's common. usually they retain for one breeding season, in case they do not encounter a suitable male.

A few cases of "second season" retentions have been noted (holding it for two seasons) but that's rare.

[KBHicks2012]

You may be a herpaholic if.......you just finished reading the last eleven pages of what makes you. Herpaholic

[TheZoo]

If you have to cover the snake enclosures so your boyfriend can go into the pet room to play with his fluffy hamster Mr. Sprinkles

[Lickeypie]

not sure if this have been said but...

if you have stayed up all night, waiting.... just so you can watch someone shedding.

[smy_749]

If you see a 4x4 jeep and think of cage dimensions

[bcr229]

You buy whipped topping because the container makes a cheap hide for smaller snakes.

You ask for an amazon gift card for your birthday or Christmas, so the "non-animal" folks think you're buying clothes, books, or movies when you're really getting thermostats and UTH's.

You check the racks each morning for little (or not so little) messes before you even have your coffee.

[infernalis]

You eat a YO-Crunch! yogurt because the lid makes a great water dish for neonate colubrids.

http://www.akblessingsabound.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/Breyers-YoCrunch-Vanilla-with-Chocolate-Chip-Cookie-100-Calorie-Pack-Yogurt-blessings-abound-mommy.png

[simpleyork]

you are planning a date for the first time in six months with the wife, not to the movie or dinner but to go look for spadefoot toads in the middle of the desert . . . in the middle of the night.(The weekend can't come soon enough)

[KORBIN5895]

I just realized my collection is worth more than my car....

[CaliforniaKing]

You may be a herpaholic, if your snake collection makes the local Zoo's look empty

[smy_749]

you are planning a date for the first time in six months with the wife, not to the movie or dinner but to go look for spadefoot toads in the middle of the desert . . . in the middle of the night.(The weekend can't come soon enough)

how romantic!

[ErikBush97]

First day at work the other day, and I was in Drive-Thru. I saw this little tiny Chihuahua, and my first thought was "That'd be a perfect meal for a big snake", and that's when I realized I am a little addicted to reptiles... lol

[smy_749]

First day at work the other day, and I was in Drive-Thru. I saw this little tiny Chihuahua, and my first thought was "That'd be a perfect meal for a big snake", and that's when I realized I am a little addicted to reptiles... lol

None of us think about feeding dogs to our snakes as perfect meals. I think it just makes you cruel and creepy.

[Lankyrob]

None of us think about feeding dogs to our snakes as perfect meals. I think it just makes you cruel and creepy.

This^^^^^^^

[marvelfreak]

None of us think about feeding dogs to our snakes as perfect meals. I think it just makes you cruel and creepy.

Yeah dog are cool but cats are another story. Every time i see a kitten i think look a furry rat. lol

[smy_749]

nooooooooooo

[Trollbie]

If many people have unfriended you or blocked you on Facebook because they couldn't handle the "creepy crawlie" picture overload.

[Mikoh4792]

First day at work the other day, and I was in Drive-Thru. I saw this little tiny Chihuahua, and my first thought was "That'd be a perfect meal for a big snake", and that's when I realized I am a little addicted to reptiles... lol

Lol why do you post this kind of stuff? It is these kinds of things that make people want to stop our hobby.

[Mellik's mamma]

lmao...i am excited, that though i am just a beginner (though i have always been obsessed with having a snake and would catch them as a child) i am already doing some of these things

if....the first thing you when you get home is check on your snake (probably already said(
if.... you are still traumatized and feeling guilty about the time you accidentally stepped on a snake as a youngster :( (gawd, i hope i didn't kill it)
if....someone not liking snakes is a deal breaker for relationships (no matter how amazing they may be)

[Mellik's mamma]

oh i forgot the main one i wanted to say!!

if... you get really excited to tell the reason why you are buying a rat to the little kids surrounding you at the pet store and think nothing of it!!

[drumcrush]

If...you relate everything to snakes in a normal conversation

[Mellik's mamma]

if... you keep having to go back to the beginning of 'dexter' b/c you are reading snake forums instead of watching your favorite show

if...your landlod asks you to perform sexual acts in return for letting you have a snake and you actually consider it. i am not ashamed of admitting this. lmao, i ended up convincing him w/o having to do that. DON'T WORRY!!

[Mellik's mamma]

i am addicted to this thread. the person that came up with it is a genius

if...you wake up in the middle of a dead sleep b/c you had a bad dream about your snake being in trouble.

okay, think i am done...for today...good night everyone (3rd shifter)

[Concept9]

IF . . . Your wife says she will leave you if you get anymore snakes. The next day I, . . . I mean YOU. . . cough ordered two more. :)

[Hurrok]

You know you are a herpaholic when....you use any holiday as an excuse to treat yourself by buying another snake....

when.....you buy rats for your snakes over buying food for yourself....

Yes, I do these haha!

[infernalis]

i am addicted to this thread. the person that came up with it is a genius

Bazinga!

Thanks.

[Darkbird]

When you consider cleaning poop a satisfying and relaxing evening.
When you try and figure out if a wall is load bearing because you want room for more/bigger cages.

[infernalis]

When you consider cleaning poop a satisfying and relaxing evening.
When you try and figure out if a wall is load bearing because you want room for more/bigger cages.

When you add more support columns in the basement. :)

[red ink]

Tupac Shakur = Thug Life

Red Ink = Tub life

Gangsta V Herpa

Yeah I could possibly be a herpaholic

[Darkbird]

When you add more support columns in the basement. :)

When you look at the support columns in your basement and think "Do I really need that one there?"
When 50% or more of your daily emails are subscribed thread notifications. Think I hit about 80%this morning, lol.

[Mellik's mamma]

i am shocked no one called me a bad name for what i considered doing (see previous post - only for about 5 minutes, then came up with a better plan) in order to get my Mellik.

i guess you all understood completely! haha

if...when you are at your 3rd shift hospital job, all you can think about are excuses to go home and check on your python (no specific reason, just because)

love the checking animals out to see if your snake could eat it idea. i usually love all kinds of animals and don't want to cause harm, but i do get it :) i would too if Mellik was a giant. i know of some people i'd like to get rid of.....

[Mellik's mamma]

okay i promise (no i don't) this is the last one.

if...you openly admit to having "the herps"...proud of it even :)

[Mellik's mamma]

hmmmm, did i go too far with that one? i have a habit of crossing the line sometimes...