My son did good!

[infernalis]

Brendan brought this home from school.. Hope he sticks with it.

http://www.thamnophis.us/DARE.jpg

[Lankyrob]

Congrats to Brendan

[Feebo]

Yay ! Gold star for Brendan! :) If only Amy Winehouse would have had one of those.....

[emseeKAY]

Yay ! Gold star for Brendan! :) If only Amy Winehouse would have had one of those.....

Kate Moss as well? :D haha my stepmother looks like amy winehouse :/ glad i havent lived with them since 14 lol :D

[Will0W783]

congrats to your son!

[Boots]

All you can do is help them along the way, but they will have to make their own choices. I am sure he will choose wisely.

Jason

[infernalis]

That's why we are very fussy about our kids' friends, and not only the friends, but the friends parents as well.

Our daughter is 14 and she wants so badly to stay over with a girl up the street, but this child's father smokes pot in the living room while the children are present, so that sleepover will never happen.

Proper parenting takes a proactive approach, and whenever possible, keep the kids busy doing constructive things.

Both of our kids are very helpful with the critters, and have pets of their own to care for, we keep them busy a lot.

Like we say, they are on a very short leash.

[Feebo]

That`s fair enough. I suppose it`s the teenage years that are the hardest, when you really can`t do too much about choosing thier friends for them or telling them they can`t do something. The key is to educate them and have them make the right choices by the time they reach thier teenage years, not that I`m a father. I think a stable and caring home environment will do loads towards having your kids turn out well, my home life was abusive, not a nice place to be at all, I was beaten up at school then when I got home, all the same stuff from my "Father". I couldn`t wait to get away and left home at fifteen, never looked back and haven`t seen or wanted to see my "parents" in many many years. I spent a lot of years miserable, with a terrible alcohol addiction I wouldn`t wish on anyone and happy to take what ever drugs came along to escape for a few hours. Stability at home= stability in life :) Happily, after years of effort, I now don`t drink, definitely don`t do drugs, (pretty mad I have to take morphine every day though after my spinal surgery, after all that) I`m happy, married and live in a loving household. Stability at last, I`ll never take it for granted... :)

[shaunyboy]

tell wee brendan he's just had a pat on the back from scotland mate.i agree with what your saying feebo.i came from a pretty f**ked up family.i did not let that effect my kids.i did the exact opposite and encouraged my kids to do what made them happy.my rule was as long as my kids are safe and happy then they could do it.my oldest shaun (23 this year) was the youngest ever manager of a carlton entertainment complex.basically a big bingo hall,bandits and a bar.but he has a gaming licence,bar licence,etc.his wife had twins 9 month ago so made me a grandad for the first time (for the first time in my life i felt really old,it was quite scarey).my daughter emma (21 this year ) she stopped working in the bakers to have her first kid due on 6th april.her husband had to leave the army over a shoulder injury,but he should be back to work soon.josh (he's 17 this year) is about to go into 6th year at school,but is looking for a plumbing apprentice ship.robbie my youngest is only 9,he pretty much splits his time between swimming,trampolining,gymnastics,running and a few hours playing all his various computers.my wife and i have been together since i was 15 and she was 14.thats 28 years together and 22 years of marrage.the strange thing is my sons the odd one out at school as so many of his friends folks have split up.we try to keep our youngest as busy as possible.like you wayne we a very strict on just who's house he can visit.education is the way forward to stopping kids taking drugs.as no amount of police action has made much of a change where i live.as parents we owe it to our kids to give them the best possible start in life.education imo being the most important.
cheers shaun
p.s.sorry i didnt mean to write so much,i just get carried away when i see young people doing well.

[infernalis]

I was also from a messed up situation, My biological father ran away when he found out mom was pregnant, My grandparents filled that slot for years, then mom married my step father who was an abusive alcoholic.

I was already an adult and moved away by the time she divorced that S.O.B., best decision she ever made.

I did my best when I started having kids to be the exact opposite of him.

We almost got into a fist fight at my moms funeral! He walked up to me and started his crap right in the funeral parlor. It's like he forgot that I am a 45 year old adult now, treated me like I was 12 or something. I held back for all I was worth out of respect. It would have been in really poor taste to engage in combat at my moms funeral.

I only recently took custody of my son, Got him away from his mother in October last year, she's another story altogether, her addiction is men. The poor boy was moved around from home to home about every six months because his mom was always looking for "the next best guy" (I lost count how many) so I decided once and for all to put an end to it, fortunately the judge agreed with me on that issue.

This past year has been the most stable in the boys whole life.

[Will0W783]

Wow, Wayne, I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. But all one can do is one's best to be the best person you can be and not make the same mistakes others have. Sounds like you are doing well, and you have my respect for that!

[emseeKAY]

sometimes i think that these experiences can make or break you, i have a lot of friends that have been through similar situations as i and have turned into drug addicts or alcoholics at only 18-20... my mum and dad got divorced when i was 9 because she had been hanging around with one of my friends fathers a little too much if ya know what i mean, than she remarried an abusive cocaine addict who took everything when she died. then my father sat around and watched my psycho stepmother abuse everyone in the household except her kids, and thats when i took off. it took several months before my father even tried to contact me telling me he wanted me back (later i found that its because he was claiming my benefits from my mothers pension in my name) and i have never looked back at him or the rest of my "family" since. im about to go into my second year of college and hopefully become a police officer so i can hopefully make a change in a few peoples lives. when i do decide to have children however they will definitely be in a better environment than myself. i think this has somehow added to my care for my animals as i try to give them the best care possible and treat them like my children lol. its amazing how many parents should not be parents... its sad how many of us have been through messed up family lives... hope everyone is still doing well!

[infernalis]

its sad how many of us have been through messed up family lives... hope everyone is still doing well!

That's a "defining" story, It's amazing that you are as sound and strong as you are at such a young age.

One of the better endings to all this, Since my mom did divorce Jim rather than hang on like many women do, He lost all stake in this family ranch.

They were divorced by 20 years in 2006 when mom passed, if they had not split, I would be typing this message from a different address, and he would be here instead.

My kids are fourth generation here to enjoy this place.

[Feebo]

That`s the one good thing isn`t it, spending your life going out of your way to not be the least bit like the selfish abusive b****ds that ruined your childhood....

[marvelfreak]

Tell Brenden Job well done from the Suit family. When i started having kids i always told myself i be a better parent than mine were. I only got to see my dad once every other summer. He was a psycho drunk until he remarried an settle down. My step dad i put in prison for (4 years) what he did to me and my brother. I swore i never be like either one of them. I now have a lovely wife and 5 kids. My 21 year old step daughter is get married in June. My 18 yr old son is in college. My 18 yr old step son is a high school senior. My 15 yr old daughter is a freshmen in high school. My 10 yr old step son has autism and mentally is two. They are my pride and joy. I like to say job well do to all of you for bettering yourself and not letting the sick people in the world warp you.

[Feebo]

It`s important to realise how good a job we`ve done really isn`t it... :) OK everyone pat thier own back if you can reach lol :D

[shaunyboy]

its so true folks that what does'nt kill you just makes you stronger.its pretty heart moving stuff reading all these storys of child hoods destroyed before they had a chance to be enjoyed.the one central theme here is we have all rose (bad spelling) above it and made damn sure all our kids got a better start in life.the f**ked up thing is love and attention dont cost a penny yet there are so many kids who just dont get any.i often wonder why people like that have kids in the first place,if all they see them as is burdens on their own lifes.we go on about people should have some kind of test of compitancey before keeping reptiles i think the same should go for kids.in the 60's my dad was in the army,then did a bit of private soldiering in kenya for 6 years.it left him with a lot of anger issues,probaly the only emmotion he was able to show.he was a pretty stone hearted man.my mum was from the school of if we dont acknowledge it or talk about it,then we can all pretend it didnt happen.i was once told by an old irish friend no matter how bad a situation is,if you look hard enough you will find something good.from where i'm standing the life of our kids are testimony to that.
cheers shaun
p.s.like you marvelfreak,my kids are my pride and joy.i'm also lucky enough to have a very good wife.as corny as it sounds my wife and i were teenage sweethearts,now we are still so in love granny and grandad.time dont half fly when your having fun.....!!!

[infernalis]

Right now in the background is the sound of 2 kids and 3 dogs all at level 4+ volume, and it's like music.

[shaunyboy]

once again mate you've got me sitting here with a grin from ear to ear.i had my oldest and his wife staying at ours for a year while they bought and fixed up their new house.once the twins were born (lilly & jack) that made a grand total of 9 of us living in my 3 bedroomed house.we all had a great time together.i just turned the living room into a bedroom,gave it to my oldest and his new family.they moved out in febuary and although theres still 6 of us living here it does seem too quiet.my daughter and her husband has moved in until my next grandson is born.wouldnt change it for the world,i just got to see my first 2 grandkids grow for the first 9 month of their lives.my son bought a house just next to mine.yesterday we put a gate from his garden to mine.so my grandkids will be able to walk (when they've learned to walk,haha) to the bottom of their garden open the gate and be in grandads garden.my daughter lives a few houses away in the opposite direction.so i can sit like old mother hen keeping an eye on all my kids and grandkids.it gives me great peace of mind knowing were all living in the same street and can be there for each other when needed.ive already got my grandkids into watching our tropical fish tank.when they're a bit older i'm sure they will get into reptiles too.
cheers shaun

[Predator678]

You people sound like awesome parents to have,espescially the reptile part,my parents shudder at the thought of one. Haha,so seldomly do i hear of highschool sweethhearts actually getting married and living a life together. Hopefully i can say the same about my girlfriend and me...and look back and remember the innocent young love...ah...