convincing the wife...

[K1LOS]

Soo... i wanna get a snake. I am thinking about a hogg island boa. So my question to you is: How do you convince the wife to allow her worst fear to live in the next room? Well maybe not the worst fear, but its pretty bad. I convinced her to touch a corn snake once, thats it. Anybody been through this? Any recommendations?

P.S: How long do you suppose one could hide a boa in the next room for... LOL, just jk

[paulsreef]

I kept it a secret for a while, until I decided to breed my own mice in the basement. Some mice escaped and ran past my wife while she was watching TV. I told her that they came from outside, but then a few more came running by. It turned out that mice were her number 1 fear. I have 4 snakes now, no problem. I know more guys that are afraid of snakes then women.
Paul.

[Derrick]

lol thats pretty funny Paul

[CARLiTO_]

Originally posted by K1LOS
Soo... i wanna get a snake. I am thinking about a hogg island boa. So my question to you is: How do you convince the wife to allow her worst fear to live in the next room? Well maybe not the worst fear, but its pretty bad. I convinced her to touch a corn snake once, thats it. Anybody been through this? Any recommendations?

P.S: How long do you suppose one could hide a boa in the next room for... LOL, just jk

start out with an earthworm! :D

[mark129er]

As the Bud Lite Institute says "It is easier to beg for forgiveness than it is to ask permission"

[CDN-Cresties]

Originally posted by mark129er
As the Bud Lite Institute says "It is easier to beg for forgiveness than it is to ask permission"

Couldn't say it any better!

[HighFlyer]

No longer have the wife but I do have 3 BPs, 4 Corns, and a Senegal Chameleon. ;)

[ssscales]

I couldn't agree more! It is easier begging for forgiveness than asking permission. First wife could not stand snakes, current wife has grown to love them as much as I do.

[snakehunter]

I heard leavin gon ein the bed in the middle of the night helps some phobics. HAHAHA J/K I think keep goin with hte corn deal, just gradually introducing her to snakes to the point where she is comfortable holding one.

edit: OR take her to a show, my parents wherent too hot on the idea, but we finally made it to one and ended up leaving with 2 BP's. Maybe she will find a snake or herp that really catches her eye and become more intrueged in the hobby.

[exotic_66]

or just do wut i did throw it on her .... my mom wassss so scared and as soon as it was on her she fell in love ... than joked about making it into a purse :( lol but now i got more snakes:P

mission accomplished:D

[snakeylesnake]

pretend its something different.
i fooled my parents for 2 years telling them that the paper covered tank held a breeding cornsnake!!!! Little did they know it was a python sitting behind there!
cheers
Paul

[peterm15]

well when i first starten i was scared of lizzards and snakes.. well not scared... i just didnt wanna see one touch one and stuff...... even garters scared me..,.... but then one day i decided to get one....a leapord gecko... my g-friend got it for me..... the next day i got another... then a coupple mnths later a got a cham..... i got over my fear quickly and now i just love and am addicted to them... and i thrive on giving the best life i can.... thats how i got over.....

so i say just get one.... shell get over her fear... justmake sure the lid and stuff is very sucure so she doesnt have to worry about it getting out....

or you could bring home a rubber one in a box and see how much she flips.... thats how i convinced my parrents to let me get my lip pierced


P.S. i did do reasearch before i got the first leo.... and same with the cham

[K1LOS]

hmm... well she'd probably leave if i just brought one home so i think thats probably a bad idea, although i would get my snake. Maybe an opportunity to babysit one will pop up and i can use that to coax her... Ahh well, i guess its gonna be a while before i can get a snake. thanks everyone

Geoff

[rwg]

You're in Ottawa...try getting her to go to Little Ray's with you once in a while. Plenty of opportunity to get over one's fears there.

Roy

[RepTylE]

When I was a kid, my Mom wouldn't let me have a snake and when I was married I only could have geckos so now that I am older and no longer married I have 4 snakes.
I am not sure but I think that I am suggesting getting divorced ....um never mind you probably aren't that nuts about snakes.
Actually when I was married, I had a room for reptiles that the ex never went in much so theroreticaly I could have hidden a boa in there for awhile. If I got caught I would just mope and whine until she gave in. And as a bonus, I would have one room that would be a refuge for me too :D

[clint545]

When I was younger and lived at home, and wanted reptiles; it was my mother that was the block. My old man always told us, she can say no, but there's not much she can do once it's in the house. That's how my brother got his first boa! LOL

[chas*e]

This is the #1 reason most people don't own snakes..weird eh,...My "no snakes in ireland" wife hates snakes...but I have a 100...It took some time but I showed her how safe I was going to keep them and she warmed up to the idea...afterall you could have worst hobbies(drugs,booze ,other chicks)...Education is the key...she still hates snks and has nothing to do with them but it is my hobby not hers.....welll GOod Luck

[BOAS_N_PYTHONS]

KILOS:

Sit her down make it look romantic, present her with a box with the boa in it and a smaller box containing a ring or some form of jewlery.......it might go over real well..........lol :)

Actually sit here down have something worked out like a business plan, show her how this snake will join the family, care for it, responsibilities on it, show some books, reading material, websites - forums, tv shows and what is your plan in the future with it. If all this goes well and open minded, try and visit someone with snakes that will instruct you both on snakes without being crazy and putting more fear. I know people love to scare people with snakes when the people seeing them are totally fearful so find someone who wants and is capable of being a positive influence than a negative one. Depending on what is done in that session many people start to rethink this fear and some join the fearless.

My family is old world and from the old country. The idea of snakes as pets or staying in same house was not something easy to convince. But because I did all the above and try to teach than scare, I have most of them now standing in the same room with snakes, where they would not agree before. My mother was very fearful before now reachs out to touch the boids tails or skin, took 4 years but she was the most fearful and she is getting very comfortable now.

Just don' t pressure the issue, but show both pros/cons and people knowing your character will either believe you or never change that fear.

Cya...

Tony

[reptiguy420]

See i had the EXACT same problem as you, girlfriend of 8 years hated snakes.I just couldnt help it any longer i went to a reptile show in Detroit Michigan and bought my first boa.I put the snake and the setup in our spare bedroom.Wouldnt you know it i got a phone call later on at work, can you guess who it was?Anyways i got chewed out for getting one, and SHE was the one who didnt want to have it in the living room.That first week i swear she was checking out that boa every 15 min. just to see what it was doin lol.About a week after that, we moved it into the living room so she didnt have to keep getting off the couch to see what the snake was doin.Now i have 6 boas, 7 cresteds, 2 leechies, and a bearded dragon.Just get one shell get over it, heck she might even like em later on like mine does.:D Good Luck!

[peterm15]

MY g-friend used to like lizards but now she doesnt.... something about me paying more attention to them.... blah blah blah... i dunno i wasnt listning.....

you may take that as a joke but im being totally honest

[marisa]

I still remember going to a reptile show a few years ago. My boyfriend said "honey can I please get a snake" and I was like NO WAY!

Well he ended up bringing a snow corn home. I wouldn't touch its tank let alone the snake.

four/five years later....I am more interested in snakes than he is! :D

Marisa

[nickykci]

i got the opposite problem, I wanted a Corn snake, but my Husband wouldn't let me get one...lol...

anyways he hates snakes, he's from africa (Togo), where snakes can be dangerous...so i understood why, but me being so hard-headed, wouldn't give up.

I educated him about corn snakes, told him that it would be my responsability, and basically it is my hobby, not his...we all have out hobbies, some good some bad...he has his bad habbits that I don't like, but I still accept. Made him understand that, and he tought it over, and finally accepted.

He even came with me to go get it, which was a 3h drive.

He dosen't normally touch my corn snake, but he did hold it once or twice =)

Good luck, and don't give Up!!! =)

[K1LOS]

you drove three hours for a corn snake??? Guess there aren't many around moncton eh?

Well, i went and did it. I picked up a red tail boa the other day. Let me tell you, did the sh*t ever hit the fan. She is still here though, kinda... Slowly starting to come around and actually talk to me again, SLOWLY. She won't even go in the reptile room anymore, which is a shame because she loves the beardies, geckos and the cham.

I should have read this thread again before i went and did it. That ring suggestion might of really helped.

So for anybody planning on doing this in the future, i'd set up a tent in the backyard ahead of time, buy a big bottle of rum to help pass the time out there, and order some flowers before the snake! You'll be in for a bumpy ride, LOL.

Realistically, its the only way you'll actually get a snake for people in a situation like mine. I'll let you all know if she actually starts to get over the fear.

Thanks everyone

Geoff

[joey]

My boyfriend is sorta scared of my snakes too...... He cringed the first time I let him hold one of the corns...he thinks it's cool that I like them though. :)

[evil11]

i have always kept my snakes in my bedroom. my boyfriend of one year woke up one morning and said 'when we move i dont want to wake up to snakes anymore' well i realized he dont like them and never will. he realized not only wasn't he not gonna wake up to snakes any more he wasn't gonna wake up to me anymore. i had the snakes when i met him and he knew they were part of my family. needless to say i never talked to him again.

[Nicki]

I've got to say, I've helped lots of people get over their fears, by introducing them slowly to my snakes. I don't agree with "just buy one and the significant other will get over it". You care deeply about that person, or why would you be living with them? There are better ways to help someone over their fears, before you actually bring a boa into your home. Just my 2 cents.

[joey]

Originally posted by Nicki
I've got to say, I've helped lots of people get over their fears, by introducing them slowly to my snakes. I don't agree with "just buy one and the significant other will get over it". You care deeply about that person, or why would you be living with them? There are better ways to help someone over their fears, before you actually bring a boa into your home. Just my 2 cents.

Alright Nicki!! I TOTALLY agree with you!;)

[RaVeNo888o]

my gf wasn't so hot about my snakes at first, but didn't mind that i had them, as i was living 4 hours away from her :P . But then i switched schools and was going to be in residence in windsor, while she has an apartment, and she offered to keep the snakes at her place so i didnt have to get rid of them when moved. They started our both being in her closet (without a door), but since then i have put the ijcp in a bigger rubbermaid and it sits at the end of the bed and she sits there and looks, and if i take out my kingsnake, she asks to hold it.

She actually named the ijpc 'Mr. Big'.. hes about 3.5 feet or so, not THAT big, but her reasoning is that hes bigger than the king so therefore he is big :p

She wants some dart frogs or red eyed tree frogs now, and we almost got her some for her birthday but money was tight, and she is actually now entertaining the idea of getting her own corn snake, which i have willinginly offered to feed for her :P (she doesnt like the whole dead rodent thing, she grew up having pet rats).

I was on teh forum one day and was looking at some brazilian rainbows, and she was like "WHAT IS THAT!" so she eventually wants one of those too :P

I've got her under my thumb (haha, only in this area though)

[ddansik]

I started out getting my son a ball python then got a baby red tail boa when my husband got used to that i added bigger ones he sleeps in the same room as 4 rtb's but when they come out I still have to yell boa comming through so he does not freak

[K1LOS]

All is well between the gf and i once again, although she is still quite scared of the snake. My boa lives in a tank inside the closet of the reptile room, naturally we keep the door open when my gf isn't in there.

I believe the only way she will get over the fear of my boa is if it is around her more often. To accomadate this, i think eventually i will move it into a different room, somewhere she will have to go occasionally but not necessarily every day.

so step 1 was getting her to accept it being in the house, step 2 is now to have her able to have it in sight, step 3 will be to get her to actually hold it, and eventually step 4 would be her even liking it.

I'll let you know when step 2 takes action!

Geoff

[pythonmdk]

Ya I have had lizards ever since my gf and I started going out, I had snakes when I was younger but befor her. I always wanted to get back in to them but she kept saying no, but somehow, I don't remember how though, I ended up getting her to buy me a KSB for my B-day a few years back. Now she's still not to found of the snakes but I have 9, 4 Kenyans, 4 Bps, and a jcp. I found that brining new snakes home and saying that I am taking care of it for a friend works good, after a while it just becomes another part of the family. That may work in your case but make sure you actually have a friend that wants it befor you do that. In case she really freaks out.

[Dave_18]

me and my gf were going out for 3 months before she met them, i never told her about my snakes till i took her to my house to meet the "family", the look on her face when she saw the tanks was a picture:D, i got her to hold my young corn but that was as far as she would go, i think she was kinda put of with the snakes so she didnt stick around much longer lol :D!

[death0f7]

I know that I wasn't the biggest fan of snakes before I met my (ex)fiance. Yes, I had an interest in them but in all the chances I had had to touch or hold a snake in my life, I had never wanted to.
When I met him and had a chance to observe all the snakes that he and his friend had but his friend would not let me even touch any of them. I was left to just watch them go about their day in their cages and lust after a chance to hold them and play with them. It wasn't until I started going out with my fiance that I was given the opportunity to hold any of the snakes but, when I did, I was even more in love with snakes.
Even when I was able to hold the snakes, I still was always a little cautious holding some of the bigger snakes we had the opportunity to care for but I always relished the chance and relief any anxiousness I had within minutes. I even helped with one of the shows that he put on for a group of seventy-five people and was so happy to be able to carry one of our milk snakes and one of our six or seven foot burms through the crowd, answering questions, and giving people the opportunity to hold and take pictures with the snakes.

All I can say on how to help loved ones to face their fears and appreciate your snakes is to take it slow and not pressure them into it. Maybe take one of the snakes into the same room ad sit there holding and playing with the snake. If they are comfortable with that, move to beside your loved one and encourage her to touch the snake's back as much as she desires. From there you can probably get her to hold and eventually appreciate and help you care for the snakes if she isn't worried with the smaller approaches.
The best of luck with your situation and I hope that it all works out well!